W-h-o’-s W-h-o In the Winchester and Jersey Disaster 1 The Scott-Joynts

Bishop Scott-Joynt: A bad tempered and irresponsible man who always managed a public mask of being ‘kind’. Not a kind man, he refused to deal with my complaint and frequently tried to force on me that Jane Fisher’s bullying, violation of my privacy and rights, condemnation of me and denial of what was happening in Jersey was ‘Jane Fisher only being kind and helping me’.
Bishop Scott-Joynt repeatedly had police action against me for trying to get him to deal with my complaint, he retired and left me homeless, destitute and very much still suffering the injustice.
I continued to ask him to deal with the matter and tell him that a servant of God does not retire, and does not retire leaving someone suffering, he continued to have me brutalized and detained by police. Showing that he wasn’t and never was, a servant of God.

Lou Scott-Joynt:
Lou Scott-Joynt was brought into this matter to ‘listen to me’ by Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, and was given their inaccurate side of things, thus doing more harm than good, in fact her involvement was catastrophic.
Interestingly enough though, even though she was a key witness, she was noticably omitted for police actions as a witness although she should have been a witness, I have no doubt she was omitted because she wouldn’t have been able to be dishonest.

Among some of the damages done by her involvement was her repeating the defamation by the Dean-Lihou-Warren collaberation that was used to defame me as a troublemaker and let the Dean and the Churchwarden off and brand me as a troublemaker, Lou Scott-Joynt didn’t know my side but repeated the defamation passed on by Jane Fisher and her husband, who also never got my side of things or tried to,  Lou Scott-Joynt also said ‘Oh, what did Bob do wrong?’ implying that again her husband and Jane Fisher had let the Dean off, this led to me going to the Dean’s house to ask why the Dean was so dishonest about his actions – this was used in court and claimed I went round there shouting and swearing, which I didn’t, just as I never went to Wolvsley shouting and swearing, my actions in both cases were purely because I was being hurt and dishonesty about it were driving me mad with distress.

Lou Scott-Joynt continued to be a nuisance on my return to Winchester from Jersey, contacting my friends, and when I went to the police they did nothing, she also asked for the surnames of friends who remained with me, in order presumably, to intervene, but failed to.
She and her husband and Jane Fisher slandered and libelled me round winchester, claiming I phoned Lou, swearing, when I never did, and they omitted the abuse, the cover ups, and my autism from their defamation of me.
Funny how they get to have me beaten and detained for harrassment because I spoke up in reply, the basic aim of the beatings and detention in Winchester was to make me not credible and get me put away to prove it and thus cover up for making me homeless and destroying me.
The police repeatedly refused my complaints, hence me continuing to deal with Wolvlsey and the Diocese myself.

These posts are going to be painful and hard to write

email letter to Archbishop 11/05/2011 – 3 years ago

11/05/2011

Your Lord Grace Archbishop of Canterbury,

I want an answer as to why I am a homeless criminal after your churches failed to protect and then damaged me,

 

why clergy you employ who have done much worse than autistic anger are out there unreprimanded while I am destroyed and everything I struggled to achieve is gone.

 

I have no quality of life and have had to flee Winchester because of the way I was being treated on behalf of the diocese, and because I was terrified every time I saw a police car.

 

why are your clergy not beaten up and thrown in cells for 24 hours and called mad and bad for being unable to cope with a very unfair situation? Is it because you do indeed condone cover ups?  I see from his press article that the Bishop who has overseen my destroyal is on very friendly terms with you. 

But I am asking you to listen to my story because it does not make sense that I am on the streets destroyed while my abusers remain in positions of authority and backed by church leaders such as the Dean of Jersey who said I was not abused, that I was a troublemaker and wicked.

 The Bishop refused to deal with that, and supported the Dean in having me convicted for my anger and distress at his continued involvement. Autistic, regressed and abused, left regressed and severely psychologically damaged, having to deal with the dean who was the abusers friend and tried to close the complaint, having to deal with nothing being done and the abuser going round that small island saying he was cleared and thus having me shunned.

 Having to deal with the damage being done by the two faced dean and the treatment I suffered as a result, and Jane Fisher’s cold denial that any of that was happeneing -her denial and attacks on my character was the second most damaging thing after the Dean’s treatment of me.

 And as a result I collapsed and when Jane continued to intervene I became hysterically distressed, especially as she utterly rubbished me by re-involving the Dean, in her continuing nastiness she told me that she had got her side over to the Bishop  – ie told him that nothing had been wrong with the way the Dean and priests had treated me on behalf of the abuser, and she told me that what I said was irrelevant.

 I told her I would let the Bishop see that text, one of her nasty texts, and again she said she would tell him it was about me refusing to meet with her over the abusers, which it was not and she said that me refusing to meet made everything I said irrelevant.

She allowed (JM) to involve herself and work with the Dean to make me out to be a serial troublemaker who has a pattern of making abuse accusations, but they couldn’t explain about all my friends, most of whom the diocese have taken from me by contacting them, those friends didn’t abuse me and so were not accused of abuse.

 

Your Lord Grace Archbishop,

I want the intervention by Jane Fisher in my life to stop, likewise the Scott-Joynt’s damage of me,

I want something done about what has happened,

and it is my last wish,

I will never be able to rebuild my life,

I did not deliberately build my life on sand foundations,

it was that way since I was born,

I loved God from when I was four years old until recently as the endless destroyal by Wolvsley and Fisher went on,

with them trying so hard to make me out to be mentally ill in order to cover the whole matter.

 

The whole matter has meant that my physical health is deteriorating.

I came into the real world aged 17 and having loved God since I was 4,

I thought that the church was the only safe place where drinking, drugs, smoking and dishonesty and badness would not be,

and the church destroyed me,

utterly.

If I had stayed in the ghetto and joined in with the games there where people have children by each others partners and do unspeakable things and live on benefits and dirty money, then the Bishop and his Dean and Safeguarding officer would not have condemned me as wicked and a criminal.

But instead I went to church and was abused.

 

Now I have a life sentence, or rather a death sentence,

of condemnation and being called insane, despite that being disproved by the mental health services.

I will never come to terms with this,

with being called wicked,

with taking all the blame and being the victim of the diocesan cover up.

 

If you really are unwilling to listen and deal with this matter,

pray for my death.

There is no medicine and no counsellor that can ever take away what this has done to me.

I am destroyed,

and my only prayer to the God who allowed the church to destroy me,

is for my death, soon, before my physical health gets worse,

before I am battered about by Jane Fisher’s police again.

 

There is no threat of suicide in this email.

waiting for death is something all people do eventually,

unless they are killed.

Statement about the Archbishop’s interview

I am writing in response to the Archbishop’s statement on BBC Jersey.

I have to say, and it is the opinion of others too. That the Archbishop didn’t seem to have a point to his interview, and thus I wonder why he agreed to an interview.

The closest that myself and others could come to a point in his interview was that he appeared to be trying to say everyone in the matter is just fine.

How very confusing. I would disagree with him.

He praises and upholds Bishop Dakin, who launched the public attack on the Jersey Deanery with the Korris report, an inaccurate and inadequate report into the matters that occurred around the churchwarden abusing me, and he thus caused the reaction of anger and rebellion in the Jersey Deanery, which was completely avoidable and at the same time caused me severe harm on top of the damage already done.

If I was Archbishop Welby, I wouldn’t be saying that Tim Dakin was great and did well.

Because all that Bishop Dakin has achieved is injury, division and needless harm, thus I have to disagree with Archbishop Welby, who appears to only be taking part in an interview to placate all, and wandering from the reality of the matter, of which he seems to have minimal understanding.

The Archbishop states his faith in the Dean of Jersey, but equally claims to stand by his apology to me.

My mind boggles as I try to comprehend this.

So, he he believes in the Dean? And he still apologizes to me for the handling of my complaint?

I can’t really comprehend this. I wonder if anyone else can unravel what he means by this?

Bearing in mind that he was speaking on BBC Jersey and obviously doesn’t want to rock the boat again, and also that he hasn’t actually personally apologized to me or even read my correspondence, he simply issued a vague apology in the press at the same time as that inaccurate Korris report, that damaged me horribly, was issued; Neither the Bishop nor the Archbishop have at any point arranged to meet me and apologize in person or get my side of the Story. And thus, all reports since are unbalanced.

Despite correspondence sent to him, the Archbishop seems completely unaware of my story and of the fact that I have been and am suffering very badly as a result of this ongoing matter, which is affecting my life and health profoundly and leaving me in constant fear of further damage.

The Archbishop claims that he ‘has to make sure I am receiving pastoral care’ Is he really not aware after all the harm done to me by this badly handled issue and the record that I have as a result of the Church of England, that ‘pastoral care’ from the Church of England is not welcome, and that I only feel violated by the interventions by the Church of England, which so far in the past year has only been offered in the form of an illegal referral to the NSPCC by Diocesan Safeguarding officer Jane Fisher, who has severely damaged me and who did not have my permission to refer me to anywhere, especially not as I had a formal complaint against her at the time, which continues to be blankly ignored by the Church of England.

My pastoral care is in my own hands, and the repeated forced interventions by the Church of England are a violation akin to rape, and my response to these forced violations is the anger for which they have previously had me detained and brutalized by the police.

The referral to the NSPCC was ridiculous, firstly due to the fact that I am no longer a child and do not have care of a child, as well as the fact that the referral was made without my consent and the Diocese knew my feelings about Jane Fisher from my re-iterated complaint against her last year, and the fact was that not only was the referral done without my consent, it was attempted by the Bishop to force this ‘help’ on me, and this caused massive distress, this was at the point where I wrote my legal letter to the Bishop -which can easily be found on my blog.

Those who don’t know, the Bishop made veiled threat of further action against me when I cried to him in distress and horror when he had me forcibly traced and violated by police in March 2013, when the very reason I responded was because HE HAD HAD ME TRACED, WRONGLY AND SHOCKINGLY THROUGH THE POLICE, only to ignore my questions why and my distress, and I was afraid of a repeat of the continued violations of my private life and illegal interventions and referrals and violations by Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt in Jersey and Winchester in 2008-2011 that led to them repeatedly having me brutalized by police and locked up for my response. Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt treated my rights and privacy as a joke and prevented me from ever getting help or being able to trust, they destroyed my friendships, social life, career, community work, hope and future, and that remains the case.

The attempts by the Church to force help on me alongside making a massive public disaster about the historic abuse complaint and then attempting to put it all right in an even more damaging way, is not remotely Christian, and Tim Dakin’s dreadful ‘lost last and least statement’ where he claimed that his staff had ‘been working hard’ to get me help, when the reality was that they had tried to force me to be in contact with a colleague of Jane Fisher’s from the NSPCC is dire and very unchristian.

So I am not sure why the Archbishop is praising Bishop Dakin, especially as he has damaged lives, especially mine, for no reason, wasted hundreds of thousands of pounds, and continues to leave me in fear that my newly rebuilt life will be destroyed again by this matter.

The reality is that this matter has been handled terribly on all sides and maximum harm has been done to me as a result, whereas in my life, I had made my confession to God for my sins of anger and distress as my Post-Traumatic-Stress went out of control in Jersey and was made increasingly worse by Jane Fisher’s actions, I had left this matter in the past, and the way it has been publicly dragged up and I have been publicly flogged for it is horrific, the Church of England demonstrating that in 2000 years they have not changed from the crowd that called for Jesus’ public flogging and crucifiction as they are doing the same to me.

I gather that either the Archbishop was ill-prepared for his interview on BBC Jersey and had little understanding of the matter, or he was badly briefed. He certainly demonstrated that despite me writing to him, he has not read my letter and has no understanding of my circumstances. But it is absolutely baffling how he can be on BBC Jersey praising people who have made such a mess, the gulf between the reality of the situation and the Archbishop’s words are horrendous as I live each day expecting the CofE’s unbalanced reports and damage limitation press releases to harm me further.

HG

Personal message to the Archbishop of Canterbury:

What I would ask of the Archbishop, if he cares in the slightest and is not just speaking empty words from a brief put together by others, is:

Firstly, please read my side of things, and do not violate my life and privacy further by dragging this matter up in the media, you make me ill when you do this, please do not publicly praise people who have done wrong, it makes me ill, please do not insinuate that my pastoral care is remotely to do with your Church who have destroyed me and left me destroyed, especially as you and your church ignore my correspondence and have not dealt with Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing and continued violation of my rights and privacy by her continued illegal interventions which started in Jersey and continued even until last year.

Please stop this childish charade and close the matter down with no further harm to my life and reputation, you are making my life and relationships very hard and disrupting my therapy, you have done throughout this matter and appear to have complete disregard for my life and feelings as a human being.

And please remember, you have not yet produced a report or carried out an investigation which represents my full story accurately, and yet you have allowed investigations which interview supporters of the Dean who have never met me.

Please do not underestimate the toll that this is taking on my physical health, if this matter kills me, you will not be able to credibly talk about pastoral care and my welfare, nor will your ‘apology’ be of any worth, be aware that I have asthma and high blood pressure and heart problems that have been frequently triggered by this terrible matter and it does put me at risk from death.

If you consider yourself a Christian, then be aware that what you and your Church are doing in being less than honest about what is and has gone on and if you continue to harm me with forced ‘help’ or media releases, you cannot continue to call yourselves Christians any longer. Remember Jesus’ reaction to the people about to stone a woman for adultery? The way I have been publicly flogged and branded by the Church of England is as bad as that attempted stoning, and Jesus sin’t standing there condoning what you are doing to me, so when is this matter to be concluded and the public flogging of me to stop? Do you or any of you think you will stand before God after this dreadful mess and the cover-ups and ‘smoothing down’ of this dreadful mess?

What is so terrible about me, for sins past and repented that is worse than what my abusers and their supporters have done, that they are not publicly flogged and I am?

HG

That Christmas 2009

It was heading towards Christmas 2009.
I was suffering and traumatized by the police and the way I was treated in Jersey as a result of the way I had  reported the churchwarden and also Jane Fisher’s nasty and senseless communications which left me in more despair than anything else.

I had made up my mind to commit suicide at Christmas and leave a letter explaining to the haters how badly being regressed to young childhood and abused and then vilified for reporting the abuse had affected me (as if they would care!).

I was very unhappy, the world was dark with no light and no-one to turn to.

But I remember being able to do something that brought light to my world as well as to others, and it is something that I just really wanted to do.

I asked my friend who went into the nursing home several times a week, presumably to teach something?
If she would get me the names of all the residents and if they preferred to be known by first names or more formally – as some older people do.
When she got me the list of names, I did a Christmas card for all 64 or so residents, because I knew that some of them wouldn’t get any other cards.
I am very shy of people, afraid of people, but I know that each human being is valuable and matters, no matter what their age or state of health.

But the response to my cards surprised me, not only the residents greeting me by name and smiling and waving when I walked past, but also their families and visitors, and I received a number of cards in reply, everyone was so nice! And from that, I ended up in regular conversation with a number of people, and this led to my confidence and conversation building remarkably.

That Christmas, within the weeks up to Christmas, as I searched the internet looking at the most effective methods of suicide, I came across Maytree Sanctuary for the suicidal, and applied to go there, within the week before Christmas, I completed my self-referral to Maytree and went there for Christmas.

My journey to Maytree was disasterous, this is when the heavy snow was falling, and it looked like the plane wouldn’t even leave Jersey, but it did, and when we landed at Gatwick, our plane had a good old scary skid along the runway!
Arriving at Gatwick in the heavy snow, trying to get the coach looked impossible as snow was affecting the coaches and there were no announcements and no-one could adequately explain what was going on, but thankfully I eventually got a coach, my phone was on a Jersey sim and hardly worked in the UK so I could not let Maytree know what was going on as it took hours and hours to get to London and to Maytree, I ended up in tears in a phone box trying to explain to Maytree and then eventually got to them, very upset.

I think I was tired and it was late when I got there and they made sure I had a hot drink and food before bed.

The stay there was generally pleasant, and I had my own room with ensuite, and no-one was supposed to come into my room unless they were concerned for my safety but one volunteer barged in anyway.

One of the ways Maytree helps people is through talking, and we talked a lot, there were a number of volunteers at Maytree and so I met a lot of people, but the one I found easiest to talk to was retired tube driver called R.

I came downstairs and the kitchen smelled of frying breakfast and Richard was there with the garden doors open, frying breakfast, he was great to talk to and we talked a lot, he told me about his late wife who was a beautiful Indian lady, he fell in love with her the minute he saw her, but she never wanted flowers, because she was a mechanic, she always wanted new spanners and tools 🙂

Maytree was great, we went looking for a turkey on Christmas eve, but they were sold out so we got a duckling, not a duck but a duckling! 🙂 I feel bad about having eaten one of those little fluffy yellow beeping things. But I have a feeling it was a rather grown up duckling. Them beeping yellow things are too small to have the meat on them that the ‘duckling’ we cooked did.

It was good to have Christmas, if I had stayed in Jersey I would have had no Christmas and I would have been dead.
And, looking at what happened in the following year, maybe death would have been better, although I would have missed out on my awesome experience of sleeping rough if I had died.
(and I still believe this church matter may kill me yet).

So time at Maytree was spend relaxing, talking, enjoying good food and drink and lots of Christmas cake, it was all good.
I went for walks, and was surprised that there in the dirty, dog-messy streets, everyone said ‘good morning’ and ‘Happy Christmas’, I went into a Catholic church one day and lit candles, asked Philip LeClaire what the difference between the red and blue candles was and got no response.
But there was a notice in church that eternally amused me.
It read:

‘Please note, the heating is off due to a leek in the pipes’

I couldn’t help wondering how the leek got there and why they couldn’t fish it out 🙂

Anyway, on Christmas Day, I went to the morning service at a local Church of England/Charismatic church, a pretty young lady from Maytree came with me, it was incredibly funny how, after the service, all the Charismatic men came up to us and started chatting with her and ignoring me, she was not a Christian but had offered to accompany me for support and safety. The men really liked chatting to her, they hardly said hello to me! 🙂
I wrote an amused letter to the church and told them I had enjoyed the service and been amused by the men’s keenness on my companion, they wrote a friendly letter in reply, saying I was always welcome to drop in.
One of the lovely parts of the service was when they let a net of balloons down from the roof, the children ran riot!

Anyway, before I left Maytree, the person in charge met with me and talked with me about my strengths and plans for the future, I found that empowering, but lost the letter when I had to leave Jersey, and Maytree wouldn’t let me have another copy.

The problem with Maytree, excellent as they were, the communication wasn’t good, and before I went, a woman tried to get me to fill in a questionaire that even she didn’t understand, and it included asking me if I was an abuser, apparently, but she didn’t know or wasn’t clear what the questions meant and I was left very upset. She then said that it didn’t matter anyway and I didn’t need to fill it in. That was awful, it was intrusive and distressing and undid some of the good by stressing me.

I left Maytree and sadly, walked into terrible football crowds on the underground and was trapped and panicked.
Thankfully a member of tube staff rescued me and got me back to Central London, and I headed for Hampshire to my friends (who the diocese have since taken from me).

I arrived back in Jersey feeling refreshed and determined to move forward positively, Jane Fisher had temporarily shut up, or so it seemed, as I had written to Scott-Joynt just before Christmas, as I expected to be dead in the new year and wanted him to know that Fisher had been bullying me and making life hell.
The Korris report claims Scott-Joynt wrote to me, he did not, he didn’t have my address, of course at that stage I wasn’t going to tell anyone in the Church where I lived, life was hell enough in the community because I was shunned.

So I resumed life and was surprised by the curate who had been so rude and snappy before Christmas -when her cousin comitted suicide.
She really wanted to be in contact and see me, I was surprised, so I took her a load of firewood logs.

I had no idea that we were at the start of Jane Fisher using her further to harm me.
One of Fisher’s greatest triumphs against me was the way she wrecked a safe and healing relationship and used that curate against me in the most terrible and damaging way and also brought the dean into it, again, as she continued to do, leaving me with no safe and private church relationships and help, it is a deep wound.

So this was 2010 now, the beginning of the end as I continued to be damaged by the church of england.

Sheeple – Christian Country? 1

I bet the post headline got your attention.

I will be writing a post on the debate about Britain being a Christian Country, but not today.
I am completely exhausted and currently moving home, to somewhere where the diocese can wreck my life more easily.

Anyway, I think you know what I will write.

Christian Country? Noh! Can’t be, not while the Church of England are in power in Government, because they are divided between wealthy Pharisees, sheeple and old haughty ladies, so that is a large potion of the so-called ‘Christians’ removed, because they aren’t, they you have the same haughty old ladies, and a few men, lets not be sexist, in other denominations, they who is left? A larger population of Christians than atheists,agnostics and other religeions?
I doubt it.

But anyway, the Great Grim Church are in government, and they are mainly the pharisees of Matthew 23, rather than being Christian, I am talking about leaders here, Justin Welby loves the finance industry and you cannot serve God and Mammon, then there is Dakin and Ould and Scott-Joynt, would anyone call them Christian?
So, no, my sweeping and very brief conclusion as I move home and die of exhaustion is nah, the UK isn’t a Christian country, it is a country with a large population of Christians or people who identify themselves with the Christian Faith.

Shall I add a footnote about the appalling way the Church of England treat abuse survivors, the vulnerable and poor?
Shall I add about wealth being the qualification for Church of England acceptance, and how completely detached they are from the poor in their midst, while they tithe tons of money to other countries and feel that they are thus Christian, virtuous and righteous?
nah.

Can anyone tell that I am in a flip and dismissive mood? Mainly because moving house is half killing me! 🙂

Bishop Scott-Joynt

Apparently I got an email from the nasty old Bishop Scott-Joynt, I must get him done for harassment! 🙂

Screen shots, screen shots, anyway, I thought he had passed away in splendour and gone to the hot place where Bishops go when their life of deception and pomp is over.

I doubt it is from him, I think it is a junk mail, especially as it is in the junk folder and the pompous old man who, with Jane Fisher, destroyed me, would not email me for any reason at all.

Especially not to apologize for acting in a blatantly unchristian way in having me destroyed.

Poor old man, he may have had everything but he never lived, and he never knew God’s love. He only knew deception and rudeness and bad temperedness.

In fact, lets dedicate this to him, it is about him, after all.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NIV

The other interesting thing about the email supposedly from the Bishop is the email account it was sent to.
Haha, do I need a worm virus or a hacker? 🙂

Further to that, that nasty selfish, mean-spirited, bad tempered and dishonest former Bishop uses the police and his lawyers, he does not speak to me himself, especially not as he has had me branded for life in reply to me trying to get him to deal with the injustice and restore my life.

anything and everything

Dear Jane Fisher and Micheal Scott-Joynt,

Do you remember and did you tell any investigation or police force what I said when I rang constantly?

I said ‘Make Jane Fisher go away!’

I said ‘Please stop shaming and humiliating me!’

I came up to Wolvsley, not to ‘hang around’ or ‘sleep in the shed’ as deviously claimed,
I came up with letters for the Bishop, desparately trying to get him to understand what had happened to me, and persuade him to do something about it.

That is very different from me just being deranged and shouting and hanging around.

I wanted my complaints to be dealt with, although by the time Jane Fisher and the Bishop set the police on me in Jersey, it was too late for justice, because that injustice could never be undone.
And I wanted to stop being slandered to all and sundry in Winchester.

Did anyone or Korris ever know or understand that I was supposed to speak to Lou Scott-Joynt, and she told me to ring out of hours so that I would get through to her and not the office, and she told me that the only time she couldn’t answer was when they were in chapel in the morning? and yet the Bishop had me done for phoning out of hours?!
Funny how lou Scott-Joynt’s part in this was missed out of all court cases and the Korris report.
Especially the part where she was repeating the churchwarden-Dean-Lihou-Warren collaberation back to me, the same collaberation used against me again by Ashenden and Bailhache etc, with my side never at any point being taken by anyone.

Not really funny at all, sick. The whole way Jane Fisher has been able to engineer the matter and repeatedly mislead people about her and the Scott-Joynt’s actions and attitude.

Social Services, Birthdays and what’s the point?

Well I wasn’t going to blog today, except maybe a vague post about Birthdays.

Now aged 33 and 3 years travelling homeless, branded mad and bad by the pharisees in the Diocese of Winchester, I did ask them if they want me to ride up to Winchester on a donkey for Passover and be crucified. I am pretty much scourged and ready for them to crucify me with their reports and press releases.

So today was the 33rd Birthday and I was vaguely going to blog about Birthdays. But I have felt too unwell to do much.
I was horrified to receive an email that violently stirred up distress, what a day to receive it!

Social services in Hampshire apparently accidentally copied me in on an email to other people.

Let me tell you about social services in Hampshire.

They treated me like dirt.

After Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt collaborated to try and have me put away in Sussex and pretended their complaints were separate, which they weren’t. I rang Hampshire social services and battled with conversations as they passed me round and round and round the departments, passing the buck, as they do.

Eventually they took my pleas to be protected from Jane Fisher, and I explained as best I could how she had had me locked up repeatedly for responding in distress to her and Bishop Scott-Joynt’s refusal of my complaint and their repeated violations of my privacy and human rights and their slander of me in Winchester that omitted the abuse and my disability and made me out to be mad and bad, and at first social services seemed positive that something would be done to protect me.
The matter was taken on by Safeguarding,
Safeguarding quickly decided to side with Jane Fisher and the police and  treat me with contempt and refer me without my consent, to a mental health worker at the very daycentre I fled because of Fisher and the Bishop’s violation and slander of me.
Basically social services, instead of investigating or protecting me, decided to slur me as mentally ill, despite the mental health services saying I was not.

Social services thus made it clear that rather than protecting a vulnerable person, they prefer to slur them as insane and thus protect their abuser, in my case Jane Fisher, who has been extremely clever at absolving herself at my expense throughout this whole matter -glaringly showing up in her recent involvement and continuation of exactly the same pattern of violation and jeer that I cannot get rid of her, cannot escape her, she can have me traced and force on me and injure me wherever I go and whatever I do, this is causing me severe dispair.
I can see no future until I am safe from Jane Fisher.

well, Jane Fisher is supposedly in ‘safeguarding’, works closely with these people in Hampshire County Council and was very able to cover up her wrongdoing, especially as the police and court action was one-sided and omitted my side of things, so I was portrayed as mad and bad.
The very reason I contacted social services was because Jane Fisher claimed to police and court that she ‘still wanted to help me’, 

despite the fact she had got me a terrible record, from which I will never recover, from responding to her refusal to deal with my complaint or leave me alone, my mad and bad emails were because she was hurting me, firstly by refusing to deal with anyone in Jersey and rubbishing me there, hence me dealing with them myself, and secondly because she continuously violated and slandered me behind my back, causing me to be driven from my home town, in what she claimed was help,
she did not have my permission to help me, and after Jersey, she was the last person on earth who should have been involved!

Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt claimed they had ‘tried to help house me’ in Winchester, when in reality they interfered so I was unable to be housed, had me trapped and terrified in that situation at Christmas 2010, which was one-sidedly described in court as me making 40 phonecalls and texts to Jane Fisher, when in reality I was responding to her and the Bishop tricking me and having me forcibly trapped in their friend’s house.
So I repsonded to that by contacting them and received a one-sided punishment for it in the court, and yet Jane Fisher has been left to wreck my life again in the past year and jeered by setting the NSPCC on me!

It is utterly horrifying that she has recently, again, after a year damaging me, violated my privacy and human rights by setting the NSPCC of all people on me!  Utterly unbelievable, when will someone step in and say ‘look, this is utterly insane, Jane Fisher has inflicted a criminal record and pain and shame beyond healing or bearing on HG, HG has made complaints to the police, social services, the Diocese, the heads of safeguarding, the Archbishop, HG has tried to protect herself from Jane Fisher for 5 or 6 years and Jane Fisher is still free to harm her, was free to bias the Korris report and tamper with eveidence throughout, and HG is truly beyond the end of her tether, living in poverty, misery and fear of the Diocese and police, no relief or redress, the Bishop, in alliance with Jane Fisher has threatened HG with the very unjust police and court whatever that Fisher and the previous Bishop got her, after having HG forcibly and illegally traced and wiping her name through the mud publicly c/o his employees in Jersey.
When does it stop?

When will I stop being the public figure of shame and whipping for the diocese and allowed to start afresh?
Life will always be a kind of death with the emotional and psychological damage inflicted by Fisher, as described above, the way she has shamed me and branded me on record while not dealing with my abusers, and allowing abusers like FM to laugh at me in publicwhen I was shamed on the streets of Winchester, Jane Fisher sending an email round to all my old friends and contacts shaming and villifying me, it isn’t something I can recover from.

So anyway, I made my displeasure known to the idiots at social services today. But it made a miserable Birthday, in poverty and in hiding and with £10 to last me a week, no lights or adequate cooking facilities, and in pain and struggling to walk, even worse. The memories of how shittily I was spoken to and fobbed off by social services and knowing that I would get more of the same if I lodged a complaint.
I have had to cancel tomorrow’s treatment for my spine and pelvis because I cannot afford it, I cannot even afford to get to the hospital for a routine tomorrow. But seeing as I am already in pain and struggling to walk, I would probably be told to postpone until a better time, I guess this is the illness described as ‘fibromyalgia’ rather than the injuries troubling me today, I certainly feel ill.

Birthdays:

Birthdays were celebrated in my family, usually presents and cards, and in the old days when the family was closed, we had parties.
In my teenage years after that terrible series of events with my brother and the press and my mum and baby sister in hospital, things became more vague and the family were moving apart, with all those old enough having left home, Birthdays didn’t matter then, and I was so isolated, as I am now, that Birthdays weren’t worth much, my 16th and 18th Birthdays were pretty much forgotten by my family, although, as you will see in my previous writing of happy memories, the farm staff made my 18th Birthday special by getting me a card and some fish and chips and a bottle of coke. 

No sparkly parties and alcohol and big presents for me, which was what my fellow college students all seemed to have, but I was happy, just being in Winchester, walking the dog, really at home in my home town, you know how it is when you belong to a place and a place belongs to you? That was Winchester when I turned 18. Just as it never will be again, Winchester for me now is deeply deeply horrifically wounded and shattered, taken from me violently by the Bishop and Jane Fisher, a place of shame where I am branded.
But when I was a teenager, Winchester was heaven, and so my 18th was ok without much fuss.

My 19th must have been when I was at college? I remember nothing about it, and my 20th, I remember JM getting me a card with a funny picture on it, the card said 1 year old on it and I didn’t blame her, the caption was some cartoon animal with a bib and a caption saying ‘feed me’, which was a random thing that I used to say. But JM also got me a ‘normal’ card.
 JM was the closest I have ever had to a mother, and out of everyone who has got involved and got out of their depth or hurt me, JM is the only one I still love.
But love does not equal safety and I will never see her again.

Anyway, my 21st Birthday was described here: 

http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/the-motorbike-party.html

I don’t remember many Birthdays clearly, usually my Birthday is near Easter, and the two blur, and since joining the Church of England, Easter became a special time, so it is all a blur of daffodils and sunshine and the beatiful green of the Hampshire countryside and joy.
Time with friends and general peace and enjoyment of a tough but ok life.

The first really sad Birthday I remember was when Jill Lihou sent me a Birthday Card in March 2007, when she and George had been asked by me to leave me alone because they had broken my heart with their behaviour.
It broke my heart again when they sent me a card, and I cried. It was a silver and white card with a West Highland White Terrier on it, Jill said it was the closest she could find to their dog, Jessa.
I did not want a card from them, Jill had wanted me to spend my Birthday with them, to the exclusion of all others, and out of the routine they had re-set to suit themselves and with no input from me, and I didn’t want to stay when it suited them and I had other plans.
I am sure they didn’t mean to upset me with the Birthday thing, but it did, because I needed space and I needed to be part of the decision making and I needed to be listened to.

But I remember when Birthdays really started becoming un-Birthdays, it was in Jersey, when the Churchwarden and his wife were hurting me, 
This was over the ‘daughter-not daughter’ row, and they went away for Easter and I was with JM for Easter, this was 2008, it was my Birthday and I spent that with JM and my friends, which was great, but the daughter-not daughter row had concluded as not daughter, (which continued to change), but they sent me away with a card that said daughter on it! Again, this was heartbreaking.

And of course, Birthdays after that were wrecked, as was Christmas, by the horrors of the consequences of reporting the Churchwarden.
 The reality is that is has cost me my life and he and his supporters nothing, I would have been better off letting him go on and abuse and hope the next victim had better luck, I wonder if that is how Sally felt about FM though? When JM rubbished her when she told her?
I may or may not have been FM’s next victim, but I didn’t have better luck. 
But on the streets is where I finally learned, you keep your head down or you end up worse off than the wrongdoer.

Anyway, Birthdays on the streets, that first Birthday on the streets was shortly after the police brutality which has left me traumatized to this day. And as I walked down the road, the same officer who had deliberately, repeatedly, needlessly and brutally flung me to the ground, said ‘hello’ familiarly to me, you know how police ‘speak’ to the people they harm, as if they know them and are friendly with them? well that is what happened for my Birthday, sending me back into shock and sickness.
 That Birthday on the streets of Winchester, shunned, maligned, despised and ruined.

And the ones that followed weren’t any better, when I went on the run, I couldn’t tell anyone my Birthday, for fear of being traced, that is still the case.
 Last Birthday and Easter was when I had pneumonia and whooping cough, started to recover, and the blasted diocese launched on me.
I say last Birthday and Easter that happened, because I had no idea of March 8th for some time, although I had been dreaming of Jersey a lot at the time and I had already been shunned and made unwelcome by people who read the Korris rubbish long before I knew what had happened.

This Birthday I have £5 left, and a pint of milk, I am sitting in the dark as there is no light, I am living in fear of the Diocese, I am facing a bleak continuation of six years of hell, I am being subjected to reports that omit my side of things and injure me, no-one will defend me from the Diocese’s unwanted interventions or call them to account.

Basically another Birthday in a world that upholds abusers and condemns survivors is another unwanted Birthday.
I can go on having the faint magical hope that things will turn out right, but it is just the child I am, things will not be alright, today was not a magical wonderful day, not a day of sunshine and daffodils and friends inviting me round for a pot of tea, it was a day of poor food, darkness because there are no lights in the house, emotional injury as social services who harmed me made a serious error in including me in an email, a day of despair and futility as I try to work out how to survive the week on what I have.

I wish God was merciful and could see my pain and answer, but this God is the God of the Church of England and their abuse and cover-ups and deceit at my expense.
My Birthday wish, which is not a suicide threat, as ever, is to not see another unBirthday in a world where I am eternally condemned and have to live like this.

 



 

A Birthday Picture c/o Polo Toons

Brief Introduction for new readers, because this is a heavy blog

Introduction for new readers as the statistics go up.

I was part of the Church of England for 13 years, I have multiple mild disablities and was vulnerable due to background and poverty.
I was abused in the church with barely a chance to recover from my fraught upbringing, and was blamed and shamed solidly by the church; all the unchristian things, gossip, cover-ups deceit occured, and my own sin was anger and saying bad things and getting carried away in reaction.

I have been publicly humiliated and shamed and given a record, while abusers and wrongdoers in the Church have got off and excused themselves.

Jane Fisher is a name I frequently mention, she is the diocesan safeguarding officer in the diocese of Winchester despite causing me so much harm through cover-ups and denials, and blame and slander of me.
 She also engineered the police record I now have, but never did anything about my abusers.

Bishop Dakin is the current Bishop of Winchester, and Bishop Scott-Joynt is the former Bishop, neither are Christian or able to deal with abuse, and both have treated me like dirt on their shoes.

The Jersey Deanery are described in the blog, a group of clergy and laity who have forgotten Christianity in favour of complacancy, power and security, but who run the church to keep this power and security.

The Korris report is an inaccurate and distressing report, engineered by Jane Fisher to cover up a cover up.

I am still in hiding from the Diocese and limited by this and the record they have given me.