This is Bob’s latest blog
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/jerseys-dean-canterbury-agreement.html
I am offline for a while this weekend. Nothing to freak about.
I remember Jane Fisher illegally reporting me missing when I wasn’t and she hadn’t tried to contact me to find out. So I get almost anxious about not being online every day in case of a repeat of that.
I am going to start comiling lists of links to other bloggers posts about my case. Starting with Bob Hill’s blogs.
Bob bases his posts on the Korris report a lot, which can make them inaccurate and traumatic at times, but he also has a lot of paperwork and in depth knowledge of States and Police processes.
I think that as he has kept these posts about me up, he wont mind me linking and thus increasing traffic to his balanced and insightful blog. Especially as he does things without asking. 🙂
Remember, these blogs are not my opinion nor necessarily my true story, but they do help with background, but they were written by a good and honest man who was doing his best.
Bob Hill 2013/14:
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-dean-bishop-and-good-shepherds-fact.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/the-dean-and-voice-in-wilderness.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/jerseys-dean-and-victims-tale.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/jerseys-dean-victory-or-climb-down.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/jerseys-dean-did-punishment-fit-crime.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/jerseys-dean-diocese-of-winchester.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/jerseys-dean-red-letter-day.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/jerseys-dean-meaningless-apologies.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/jerseys-dean-doubting-thomases.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/jerseys-dean-another-meaningless-apology.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/jerseys-dean-and-silly-season.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/jerseys-dean-laitys-jep-advert.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/jerseys-dean-dame-heather-saint-or.html
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/jerseys-dean-dame-heather-saint-or.html
Bob Hill has been mentioned in a previous post about what happened in November.
I guess I want to balance that negative post. I had to post it because what happened in November was awful, and no-one knew my side of it.
Bob is a good, honest, caring man, he fights for social justice in Jersey, the only problem being that he and Mike Higgins haven’t quite got the hang of getting permission to make representations and referrals of people, which is really important, examples being that Bob and Julie and Christine Daly went behind my back to make arrangements and that collided disasterously with the Diocese doing the same, with the end result of me being very hurt and angry and no help at all being arranged; and also Mike Higgins repeatedly causing me pain by bringing my case up in the States and meeting cover ups, untruths and libels of me which I was unprepared for.
Bob got his BEM because of his work with vulnerable people, and he continued the good work when he returned to Jersey after leaving the MET police and becoming a deputy in the States of Jersey, he has been a voice for numerous vulnerable people in Jersey, and if only I had known him while I was in Jersey, he might have prevented what happened in the end.
Problems with Bob trying to represent me included the sheer disstance, basically we needed to talk face to face and hardly got a chance to, and with me being on the streets, skype was not a viable option most of the time, we tried skype but the signal would go, even when I had somewhere safe to skype.
Another problem was, it was a big and complex case, made worse by the untruths spread by the Jersey Deanery about my past, so that I spent a huge amount of time trying to explain myself about that and never overcame the blank trauma enough to tell Bob my story in Jersey, and Bob chose to believe the Korris report over my story, and repeatedly told me that my side of what happened with the police didn’t, sadly my police records, already distorted by incorrect police recording, were open to abuse by wrongdoers involved, but I told Bob the truth and there would be no point in my lying, but he couldn’t accept my side.
Bob’s involvement of Julie in confidential matters and as if he worked inseparably with her on my case, without my consent, and apparently with Gladwin and Daly’s influence, meant I felt demoralised and as Julie insinuated I was in the wrong in Jersey, I realised I was betrayed. But Bob didn’t see fit to apologise and instead, blamed me.
Bob’s blogs are very good, but as well as traumatising me, they are not entirely accurate and tend to give his view, what he has heard and read, and debates with other people such as the Home Affairs Minister who is a reader in the church in Jersey, and a friend of the Churchwarden’s, according to the Churchwarden. So how could his answers be accurate.
Bob, without any doubt whatsoever, wanted something done about the injustice, he wanted people to be accountable and he wanted what was best for me.
Sadly the obstacles he faced included the case being so complex that he regularly forgot or omitted facts I told him, he sent information to Gladwin and Daly that would not be helpful and he had not been asked to send, he was also, and most importantly, up against super-powerful members of church/state/judiciary/church, who are apparently infallible, invincible and able to get away with pretty much anything they like, as well as being able to get people like the Dean let off without question.
I believe Bob worked very very hard to try and help me, and he took a lot of flak trying to defend me, and I am very grateful to him, I was badly represented by the Korris report and then smeared by the Jersey Deanery while the Diocese stood by like a leaderless and frightened flock, not knowing where to turn and certainly not supporting me. I took some of that nasty flak and libel and slander directly, Bob didn’t divert it all, and it has wounded me that people who do not know me, and never met me were self-righteously judging me and condemning me even on church websites such as ‘clerical whispers’ and ‘Thinking Anglicans’ (now there’s an oxymoron).
Bob, with his firm stand on my side, was a pillar of strength and hope, while we waited for the Church of England to make good the damage they did, sadly they let us down, but Bob’s efforts were great, it is just a tremendous pity that he could not take my full story, face to face, and the poor man didn’t really really understand me himself.
In the beginning, he told me he didn’t understand mental health, he wasn’t medically trained, it took a long time and lots of information and my psychological report for him to understand, hopefully, that I was not ‘seriously mentally ill’ as such, but that autism combined with very severe trauma and psychological harm from my background is what lead to me going mad under the terrible pressure I was under in Jersey from the backlash when I was still in a very bad way from being regressed and abused in Jersey.
The fact I was left regressed and childlike after parting company with the abusive churchwarden played a big part in things, and is omitted from Korris, but being regressed and abused and facing the backlash was simply too much for me after my background of severe violence and trauma, this, in a small community like Jersey, a complaint against a well-connected churchwarden. I was treated very bad. And so called ‘Christians’ on websites and in the Church, who have judged and condemned me publicly and to Bob, should be ashamed of themselves, shouyld try going through what I went through with the conditions I have, and see if they do any better.
Bob has put in hundreds of hours of epic work in trying to help and defend me, but the distance and the fact he needed the full story and couldn’t get it, didn’t help.
Bob’s blogs are admirable in that he is very honest and balanced and set a good example to me, he set a good example in manners, honesty and courtesy, which actually encouraged me to try to be the same, notably in my dealings with the diocese, Bob’s way of being polite and understating things, as he frequently does, led to me sometimes doing the same, although not always, because I am me, and I am angry about how I have been treated. But although my letter to the Jersey Deanery was all my own work -well, actually I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what to write, I did base my style of writing on Bob’s.
Bob deserves a medal, so it is hardly surprising that he has one.
(I once tried to nominate Philip LeClaire for a MBE medal for his similar great work, but was quite puzzlingly shunned and treated quite rudely by other people who I asked to support that nomination, which remains a raw mystery to this day).
Julie described Bob as pragmatic, and said it was a good thing he was because she and I weren’t. I am not sure what the word means, I think it is unemotional and stable and calm.
Bob is very calm and did not seem to understand when he calmly told me terrible and worrying and traumatic things, that I could not be calm, because the trauma I had suffered and was suffering, was too much for me, Bob not being on the receiving end of the Korris, Gladwin and Steel reports did not seem to grasp how injurious these reports could be to a vulnerable and struggling life, especially as the Korris report did me so much harm, and the Steel report was to destroy me on behalf of the Deanery, and the Diocese were refusing to stop it.
Bob is a lovely kind man, very solemn and serious though, one of the main things that helps me to communicate is humour, and Bob was very much a policeman, politician, he couldn’t work with me through humour as notable others have and do, but Bob is one of the most genuine, kind and altruistic people I have ever met, and I have met a few.
The November issues and their lack of resolution meant that I couldn’t trust Bob, because the level of damage done meant that I could not risk that happening again and could not risk letting Bob involve other people and cause more disasters. His comments about me not having many friends and not trusting people infuriated me, he does not understand that until the reactive attachment disorder is treated effectively, I have to keep people at arm’s length or I hurt them, that is a horrible reality, only people who can not get emotionally involved and can trust me to look after myself, and can stay calm if I get upset, can stay alongside me now, sad as that is. And as for trust, it goes without saying, I can’t not have a trust problem after everything that has happened, and Bob needling about it does not help.
Bob is a good man, credit to him for every single thing that he has done for me and for others, including the fact that he looks after his lovely wife when she is not well.
God bless him.
Bob Hill got involved in my case initially without my consent, producing blogs that weren’t and could not be accurate because he was producing them from information from the Korris report, which is a load of rubbish that injures me and covers up for Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing.
I was injured to read Bob’s blogs initially but was fascinated and astonished by the comments in support of me, hence me getting in touch with Bob.
Bob then took over, wanting all the information, which I was simply too traumatised to share, and trying to state ‘facts’ that weren’t facts, and as time went on, his ‘statement of facts’ started to cause me to break down, he didn’t seem to have any understanding of how traumatized I was and how damaging it was for him to keep putting me through what had happened and still not being prepared to accept my side of things.
For example, he refused over and over again to accept my side of what happened with the police, reminiscent of Jane Fisher telling me that the Dean was neutral and that I was to see him again about my complaint when I was in Jersey, you cannot tell someone with autism that what happened to them didn’t.
So, early on, I had bulldozer Bob nearly drive me to suicide from Trauma, in May 2013, I think, and those of you who are outraged about me saying anything against Bob, have you any idea the cost to me of him inaccurately representing me and refusing my side of things?
The Jersey police dispute, what happened, and what Bob claims.
I was not given a ‘warning’ about the Dean, I returned from 3 weeks on the run in the UK as a result of Jane Fisher and Tracy working together to try and have me put away. I was told I had to see the police, the policeman waffled and said that it was to do with Jane Fisher and an ‘allegation of harassment form’ and that it was about getting both sides of things and he said about the Dean being swept under the carpet, he wrote on a bit of paper, he got the woman from victim support to sign it, he said it was an ‘allegation of harassment form’ and that it didn’t even go on my file.
I was not given a warning about the Dean, nor was I in any contact with the Dean, nor had I been apart from going to his house to protest about his refusal of responsibility and his protection of the Churchwarden, I did not go there swearing and shouting as claimed in court, and did not swear or shout, the Dean called me wicked and said I was not abused and that I ‘went round doing this to everyone’ stating I had ‘done the same to the Lihous and JM and FM, not explaining what exactly or why he was in a position to judge or the difference between FM abusing me and the Lihous not abusing me.
Bob Hill’s version of events is that I got a harassment order and that it was collectively about the Dean and the Diocese, and Bob Hill has called me a liar over this and given me a breakdown.
I did not receive a harassment order, I was not told that, I was told that what was written was an allegation of harassment form and that it did not go in my file.
Bob Hill has never accepted my side of things, never even been willing to hear my side of things, and instead of representing my case, he has called me a liar, he has refused to read and accept documents I sent him, over and over, coming out with his own version of events and basing these on the Korris Rubbish rather than my story, which has been hell for me, over and over, telling him, with an increasingly failing voice, what happened to me, but he repeats the same inaccuracies from Korris that protect Jane Fisher and deny my experiences, especially with the police.
It became increasingly clear that my case was fodder for Bob’s vendetta against ‘injustice’ and ‘lack of human rights’ in Jersey, as he went on and on about my arrest and deportation, seemingly forgetting that I was a human being and he was injuring me by making me relive the trauma but still refusing my side of things and refusing to acknowledge or accept what had happened to me on my return to Winchester, making this out to be just about me ‘visiting the Bishop and getting arrested’, when in reality the Bishop and Jane Fisher maligned and defamed me to all authorities and police and churches in winchester and the police refused to deal with my complaint and protect me, and instead treated me as if I was mad.
I was shouted at, I was spoken about in terrible ways, and Winchester, formerly my home town, became a place of shame and horror for me, where after the terrible events in Jersey, I was not allowed to find peace but was branded and treated terribly.
Bob refused all this, and the Diocese having me brutalized and detained by police on 14/02/13 and repeatedly claimed it was all about me visiting the Bishop – from the Korris report again,
Bob was not interested in the injustice there but preferred to go on pushing the Jersey arrest and deportation matter, still omitting my side of it and making me out to be me a liar when I told him my side.
Having a mediator who wont believe you or take in your side of things is terribly wounding.
Having sent Bob statements as attachments, I was very upset that he obviously never read them, and sometimes claimed that he could not open them and that thus no-one else who was sent them could read them, which was rubbish because they were opened and read by others, I sent him everything by email instead, he still didn’t read them.
He proceeded to publish links to the Korris report and publish rubbish from the Korris report that injured me, notably when he published a whole load of the rubbish on VoiceforChildren’s blog and left me in collapse. Voice was kind enough to remove that rubbish but nonetheless it became increasingly hard for me to believe in Bob Hill because he was hurting me with the report, and simply refused to stop. Doing it his way, as always.
It remains to this day that Bob Hill upholds a report that severely severely damaged me and led to me being shunned and shamed yet again in my community after what fisher had done to me in winchester and beyond.
The Korris report severely injures me to cover Jane Fisher’s back. It is not an accurate representation of my experiences, and if Bob was on my side, he should have been prepared to hear my story rather than driving me mad with a report that does not represent me.
I am in wholehearted agreement with the Jersey Deanery in their attempt to have the Korris rubbish removed from the Diocesan website, it is henious rubbish that should not have been produced let alone published all over the web to humiliate and degrade me or any member of the church.
November last year was truly the end, after suffering from March last year, everything went terrible in November.
One thing that went wrong was Deputy Mike Higgins, playing this game that deputies in Jersey do of baiting the real politicians in Jersey, and he used my name in vain, without consulting me and without warning, asking the home affiars minister, who is a church reader and friend of my abuser, why I was deported in my pyjamas, which the home affairs minister denied, even though I was, and so I was libelled by the home affirs minister and by the JEP, traumatizing me. Higgins had nothing to say to me when I emailed him, and neither did Bob Hill, his close friend and colleague. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Higgins did the same again recently, sparking lies about safeguurding in Jersey attempting to contact me for my views for a report that is apparently already written and claims that I didn’t suffer any misconduct from the police.#
For me this is doubly traumatic, I still cannot express what happened to me in Jersey, firstly because I am too traumatized and secondly because Bob Hill has rubbished my experiences and overriden them with his version of events.
I am well aware that Jersey safeguarding will proceed with this, another damning report without even trying to contact me and will claim that they did, and all Higgins has done is brought this to my attention and made me suffer it.
What Bob Hill and Mike Higgins do not understand is that you cannot help someone, nor can you advocate human rights, if you do these things without the person’s consent, not even warning them, and if you do not warn someone with autism that you are doing something like that, you can cause them terrible shock, as this did, twice.
Anyway, back to November. Duped.
Bob wanted me to make contact with a woman called Julie Wallman, who claims to be a film writer, producer etc etc, she claimed to want to help me, and because I am open to open and honest help, so I agreed to meet with Julie.
I had no idea if her film career was real and didn’t care, past experiences of people making things up mean that I am quite happy to listen, take things with a pinch of salt and enjoy agreeable company.
She went on about how she would get me involved on set and how we would make a movie together, and as I am sure any neurotypical would, I though ‘here we go’, because you don’t make plans like that when you first meet someone.
She then told me she would share some of her background with me, talking about her past in Jersey, talking about an alcoholic mother and a terrible childhood.
But then she decided to tell me something else, and it stands out that she told me she ‘ had to close her eyes to tell me’.
Basically because she was lying. And we both knew it, and it sickens me.
She claimed that she had gone back to Jersey as an adult with her ‘film career’ and Philip Bailhache had taken her under his wing and been her mentor, (yeah, of course), and she had been getting on great with him until he presided as a judge over her boyfriend’s case and put him in prison for 12 months.
Yeah.
I don’t think I believed this even at the time, especially with the eyes closed bit.
She went on about Philip Baihache’s liberation day speech next.Saying it was a knife or something to all jersey abuse victims.
anyway, with me presumably swallowing it all, hook, line and sinker, because I am an idiot, we moved on to the next stage, also very fake and staged. And also containing lies.
It was all about accommodation, she wanted to get me housed.
She kept going on about me having a door where I can shut the world out. She didn’t realise that police break doors down and diocese can make life hell anywhere you stay long enough.
I wasn’t fully aware that it was a set-up by then, but I had misgivings. I had stayed in a bed and breakfast the night before, somewhere I sometimes stayed for respite.
Julie wanted their contact details so she could arrange for me to stay longer while we organized me a home, and because I believed her to be independent and a friend of Bob Hill’s, I trusted her with this.
Bob has always yapped on about how I don’t trust people and I should, he completely misses the point and what has happened to me when he does that, because in this case, as in any where I feel I am on neutral or safe ground, I trust, and yet again my trust was violently betrayed.
Bob needs to change the broken record and actually look at why and where I trust and don’t trust, for example I gave him my trust straight away and he has betrayed it.
Anyway, this Julie told me she was going to claim to be my cousin and arrange for me to stay at the bed and breakfast on pretence that I had a thesis to work on and that I needed peace and quiet. She was lying, she did nothing of the kind.
She told me she would have to go and make the call privately, which aroused my suspicion at once.
And the fact is, she lied to me, which was confirmed by the bed and breakfast manager, I wonder how Bob Hill continues to try and tell me I should trust? After all that?
So, it was arranged for me to go and stay in the bed and breakfast, and Julie wanted me to read her ‘scripts’ and said she would get me ‘on set’ and she would meet me again soon when her ‘cheque’ for a film came through.
I was not really comfortable with her paying for me, i am not a user no matter what the wicked judgemental church say, I am in poverty and thus sometimes dependent, but I went to the bed and breakfast, and I read the ‘scripts’, and I worried, because I knew the situation was unnatural and risky.
Julie and Bob came up with ideas of getting my story heard, a lawyer and a journalist, and Bob put together a statement and again it was inaccurate rubbish from Korris rather than my story, I was instantly traumatized and wanted to commit suicide and told him I would if he did it again, and i wasn’t joking, every time I have had to see my story distorted to cover fisher’s back in the past year, I have wanted to die because I cannot live with the lies against me.
So then Julie was screaming mad at me for being angry and distressed, and she was telling me Bob had worked so hard on that lying rubbish, and Bob was telling me to ‘go and read the scripts Julie gave me’, so suddenly instead of a mediator I had this couple, Bob and Julie, inseparable and screwing with my life.
Julie then said she couldn’t afford to support me and she was going to set John Gladwin on me, well after being let down by Gladwin and his colleague Christine Daly, the idea that I was being called a burden and thus deserved Gladwin who let me down, violating my life and privacy and security when I was in a vulerable and traceable place, was horrifying! I could not believe Bob had let me be set up.
But he had. And I was defenceless, traceable and felt in immediate danger of police attacks by the diocese.
But Julie and Bob then claimed they wouldn’t alert Gladwin.
Julie then said to forget the lawyer and the journalist and that she wanted to just get me housed, this sudden statement after threatening to set gladwin on me, told me that there was something wrong here, but I could prove nothing, although I made it very clear to Julie that I was unhappy about this and did not trust her.
She started on about how a ‘rich friend might help her with housing me’ but this was not acceptable to me. I believed by now that things were wrong, and that Bob Hill was allowing things to be wrong. But I didn#’t know until that saturday that they had betrayed me.
Julie sent a very strange email to me and Bob in the early hours of the morning, it just read ‘you guys are the best!’.
To me, this looked like either a drunken email or from someone very vulnerable and friendless, I was immediately concerned for her and carried out a conversation through the early hours with her, I wondered if either she or Bob knew that vulnerable survivors should not work to try and heal other survivors, and that it was really bad for one vulnerable person to help another as a panacea for their own problems, an example is Jill Lihou taking over my life and other lives because of her mental illness, with disasterous results.
Anyway, I didn’t have much time to worry as the full-blown attack was launched within the next few days.
Bob and Julie, instead of contacting Gladwin who had let me down, contacted Christine Daly, his colleague who had let me down even more by her promises that never came to anything, of more meetings that would tell my story.
So they went behind my back, contacted someone who let me down, put me at immediate risk from the church of england and caused me a breakdown.
But I didn’t know, and found out by accident.
It was the diocese, launching an attack at the same time that exposed it.
This was around November 19th?
The Bishop emailed me in his usual bullying way, refusing as ever to go through Bob, demanding that I read his emails or ‘get a friend to read them’, he had aggressively approached me in this way in the summer and I had spent 24 hours telling him in every way possible that he was not to email me and not to jeer about me getting friends to open emails, as the diocese took all my dearest friends from me in 2010 and 2011 and had me publicly humiliated in a way that I will never recover from.
Anyway, I freaked, it was a Saturday and I tried to contact Bob Hill but he was out for his bike ride so I contacted Julie, as, against my wishes, they were liasing about me all the time.
I was startled to say the least, by her reaction.
She was in Jersey and she told me not to panic and that she would fly home.
Now that is a strange reaction isn’t it? That she would give up her holiday with her boyfriend, presumably the one that Bailhache put in prison and fly home because the Diocese had launched on me? No, something was very odd about this.
But I had no idea what.
Until Bob came on line, and he started saying it must be something to do with his and Julie’s discussions with Christine Daly, that the diocese had intervened.
I absolutely hit the roof, I was furious and Bob refused to stay online and talk to me after breaking that horrifying news, I had been violated, and they couldn’t even be bothered to help me to calm down and cope, they just left me in a shocked state, with aggression from the diocese and the knowledge that I was no longer safe and hidden.
I had a collapse and temporarily lost use of my right hand side, again, thankfully it didn’t last long, it has happened a few times, but my top right spine and skull are damaged and it possibly stems from that and shock.
Anyway, I was furious, I had been betrayed and had put all my personal details at risk from Julie, and thus Christine and the police. Bob and Julie offered no reassurance, Bob accused me of making them ill, well I wonder what he thought they had done to me then! Apparently he didn’t care. And that is what gets me about this, what excuse do they have for violating me but a pretence of care? And how did they react to my anguish? Any reassurance or comfort? No, Bob claimed his patience was wearing thin, and as ever, omitting my side of things, went on about how I had been so nasty and unkind to him all the time.
Well then, when did he ever take my side of my story and represent me accurately and not traumatizing me with the Korris rubbish? When? Did he expect me to be nice when he made me relive the police and prison? And then rubbished me repeatedly over it?
Anyway, I told the Diocese where to get off, they got a legal letter from me.
I also explained to Christine Daly why her involvement was henious. Put as politely as possible.
I think it is very strange how since then Bob has called these Church people a shower of creeps, but yet he allowed them to seriously harm me by betraying me to them.
Anyway, I was now in collapse, terrified of every movement in the bed and breakfast because I expected the police, I knew I could jump out the window but police would probably be round the back as well, I was terrified and could not sleep.
I was completely without support or safety, I could now be traced, identified and utterly destroyed.
Then I was getting emails from the nspcc on behalf of the diocese, so I warned them for harassment and barely managed to convey on the blog at the time my revulsion and disgust that I had been set upon by a peadophile harbouring charity that did nothing for me in 17 years suffering with my family.
It has been more recently I have shared that more coherently, but the diocese had no right to refer me anywhere without my consent, and it disgusts me beyond belief that fisher, who destroyed me and who I have made numerous formal complaints against, was allowed to jeer by setting the nspcc on me, after the Korris cover up of her behaviour which Bob Hill believes, after the way she destroyed me and got me a police and sectioning record, fisher was allowed to illegally refer me to the nspcc.
So the nspcc got a copy of the legal letter.
Then the Bishop of Winchester released one of the silliest press releases anyone has ever heard, claiming the steel report could not be released due to legal action, well I have no idea who took legal action or why, but it set the Ould bully off jeering and claiming firstly that I didn’t have the intelligence to take action and then that it might have been me that took action.
It was not me that stopped the Steel report, I believe it was the same person who has destroyed me, as if that would change the fact that she has destroyed me and that she should be sacked.
I remain unprotected from the diocese and thus unable to live, knowing that I am branded on all records and my side remains omitted from all reports and that eventually the Diocese will, directly or indirectly kill me, living as I am on an unstable foundation of a criminal and sectioning record that omits my side, means anyone can abuse me and i cannot report them and that the police, as and when they get me, can beat me to death, something they frequently do to vulnerable people and never face action. I have suffered repeated police brutality that has never been brought to justice, it affects me profoundly each day and is not something I will ever be able to recover from, especially as it will not be acknowledged nor will the injustice of why the police got me and did not also deal with the diocese.
Anyway, the Bishop’s silly statement didn’t go down well, and I wrote one in reply, I was not impressed that the Bishop was using the same prayers-to-control -people rubbish that Satandrews used to use, ie saying he ‘prayed I would accept the ‘help’ (violation) that the diocese offered.
After what fisher has done to me, and after all the money wasted on villifying me in the past year, setting a peadophile harbouring ineffective children’s charity on me was the biggest insult they could have come up with, and the Bishop added to it by claiming to be ‘called to help the lost the last and the least’, well I guess he had better refer himself and his diocese to the nspcc then!
I had been suffering waiting for the Steel report to destroy me, and that had been adding terribly to the other stresses such as Julie and Bob, I still do not understand why they betrayed me to my destroyers at the point I was about to be destroyed, but Bob had no answer but blame of me.
Bob had apparently met with Steel during this November period, but being without my story, Bob had to ask me if the henious lies she repeated from her report were true.
At the time that caused me to be sick too. Apparently it was claimed that I went round threatening people in their homes and the Dean saw me because of a complaint about me from the churchwarden, rather than about the abuse. Sick. Apparently Steel interviewed a lawyer clergyman from the Deanery who had never met me and was using the Lihous, the Warren’s parents who harmed me, against me, just as the Dean had when I was in Jersey, again without my side being heard.
But obviously as Bob has never actually got my story, he could not change that.
Bob had previously caused problems by sending unhelpful information to John Gladwin and Christine Daly. Basically Bob, despite his position and expertise, was ineffective as mediator because he refused to ever take my side of things but used the Korris rubbish which is not my side of things, instead.
I was depending on Bob to defend me and put my side accross, but sadly he never did, and right to the end he was blaming me, claiming I didn’t trust anyone, but refusing to acknowledge that I trusted him, and Julie, and his ‘you don’t trust anyone’ became a meaningless accusatory broken record.
I remember Julie in another bizarre conversation, claiming that Bob and his wife were doing all they could for me and said that ‘they were happy to be doing all this for HG’, I doubt very much that is right, Bob and his wife never called me HG, they used my name.
I was particularly horrified when, after all the severe upset caused by the diocese trying to force the nspcc on me, some idiots in Jersey decided it would be a funny joke to send the Dean money for me, and I hope those people go and walk off a cliff for it because it was very very far from funny for me. Bob started emailing me and ranting about it, asking if I wanted that money sent to THE NSPCC FOR ME!
Bob Hill was no longer my mediator, he had become someone who really went out of their way to injure me, and he succeeded.
He and Mike Higgins recently arranged that second ‘question in the states’ that left me injured and ill again. And I wonder, why does Bob think I need another enemy when Jane Fisher and her Diocese will eventually kill me with their violations.
Bob condoning that horrifying violation of me by Jane Fisher and the NSPCC after I had made a formal complaint against Fisher that Bob tries to deny the existance of because he can’t read his emails, and after what happened to me at Fisher’s hands in Winchester, why on earth does BOb think that I would willingly walk into anything that te creature who got me a record, ruined me and has lied her way out of responsibility for, has arranged?
It got beyond Bob making mistakes, he is, as far as I am concerned, on the side of the same people he called a ‘shower of creeps’, he is most certainly not on my side.
He even published Peter Ould’s jeers on his blog and pointedly encouraged Christine Daly to read Ould’s rubbishing of my case. But he kept omitting my comments.
Who needs the Diocese with a mediator like Bob?
Those who wonder what happened to me in that terrible November, I was still recovering from flu as Bob and Julie and the Church attacked my life, I was weak and did not get my strength back, I was terrified that the police were going to stop me fleeing the bed and breakfast and I knew that even if I did flee, I could be traced and named because of the bed and breakfast and so I would have to change my name again.
I put up with some nastiness from the bed and breakfast owner, who went on about Julie, and it was obvious she had lied through her teeth to me.
But, thanks to a certain angel, who emailed me just as I was due to return to the streets, and thanks to a phew phonecalls, we were able to safely get me out of there and free, until the next attack.
I was astounded when Julie contacted me a month later, obviously intent on re-starting the whole farce. I cannot believe that either she or Christine Daly would be stupid enough to think that I would actually walk back into a trap that I had fled from.
The combined severe psychological damage to me of what happened in November last year, has not gone, not been obliterated, it remains with all the other damage, building up to the day Jane Fisher has me killed.
The Church, through Christine Daley and their plant, Julie Wallman, achieved a massive victory in the damage to me in November, not least removing Bob Hill as my mediator, although I think I should turn it around and say he was not a good mediator, he had his own agenda and would not take my story, so he couldn’t help me, so they have done me a favour.
My first open blog on the subject of myself and the Diocese of Winchester.
I write this on pain of once again being arrested by the Diocese of Winchester for being an abuse victim who spoke up.
Hi, pleased to meet you, I am HG, I am named in a very skewed and inaccurate report called the ‘Korris report’ as someone who suffered abuse at the hands of a churchwarden in Jersey and bad handling of my complaint.
I was so badly punished by the church for speaking up, that I now live on the streets, destitute and with a police record that the church themselves gave me.
For publishing this blog and for protesting to the Bishop about this matter, I expect to possibly be brutalized and detained by the police on behalf of the Diocese of Winchester, as this has now happened to me a number of times. The Diocese do not like me speaking up. And though I am being no less honest than the Jersey bloggers, I am much more vulnerable, the Diocese would not dare to set the authorities on any of the Jersey bloggers. The Diocese thought that I, a lone, disabled poverty stricken woman, would be easy to brand as mad and silence. Which makes me wonder, how many silent sufferers are there? and how many others get branded as I did for speaking up, sadly I know of a few, I have been alongside fellow church abuse survivors in the last few years, and using mental illness against us is a common ploy.
I am not going to be untruthful or slanderous or abusive in this blog, but I remember, and there is evidence in the Korris report, that a certain person in the Diocese wanted to keep me quiet for the sake of the church’s reputation. That may well still be the case
For publishing this blog I also expect threats and abuse from Jersey, because other bloggers in Jersey are treated like that and I am certainly not very popular in Jersey! 🙂 but believe me, I would rather be hated and rejected by the church and establishment there than be one of them.
I have the greatest respect for the Jersey bloggers. For me, discovering them and their blogs and the support they have shown, has been the best thing to come out of this matter
I was blissfully unaware of the whole Jersey vs. the Diocese when it broke earlier this year, at the beginning of March, and although, sadly, people around me recognized my description from the Korris report and rejected me, I remained unaware of the situation for some weeks. That is one of many many hurts in this seemingly pointless war between the Diocese and Jersey, which I have been dragged into.
I was getting emails from Jersey and people in my past but I ignored them. I had finally started to put the matter behind me, and, resigned to life on the streets, I had come to like my life as it was, and was at last getting a fews days a week free from flashbacks and terrors and was enjoying new friendships and writing about my life as a homeless person.
It was the police contact that alerted me to the fact that the Diocese were up to their old tricks.
Using the police to try and force me to do things their way, which has never worked because I am autistic and see no reason to bow to badly behaved people in offices.
The use of the police, after all their previous brutal and one-sided police actions against me was a horrendous shock.
I had a collapse.
The Diocese had my email addresses and it was only the unpleasant safeguarding director who I had blocked, so if the Diocese had been genuine or had wanted me to be interviewed by Jan Korris, they could have contacted me. But undoubtedly, to protect herself, the safeguarding director didn’t want that, she wanted her bad behaviour exonorated, and it was.
Thankfully a friend at church was able to sit with me in the initial shock of the police coming after me, and then the priest also came to offer pastoral support, but I suffered badly in the following week, reliving what the Diocese had done to me previous to me going on the run from them in 2011.
I had no idea why the Diocese had launched on me again in March this year, I did not understand the police contact until a week later when the press articles came to my attention. I only read the first few lines of the email from the police, and was horrified that they had found me under my new identity. I remain horrified as I am left feeling vulnerable.
I had been on the run from the Diocese for two years since the Bishop and safeguarding official had had me brutally detained in 2011 because I went and begged the then retired Bishop to bring justice and to withdraw the safeguarding official’s continued interference in my life and I continued to answer back to the safeguarding official for her continued violation of my privacy and interference in my life.
The Bishop and safeguarding did not give the full picture to the courts in the last police intervention in 2011, making out that they had only been helping me, and omitting that their ‘help’ had involved slandering me and making my life hell in every way possible driving me from my home city, they tried yet again, to use the standard excuse that I am insane, and they failed, because I am not. Being once again voiceless in a one sided trial against me traumatized me beyond repair and keeping myself alive after that was a grim battle indeed.
In my two years alone on the streets, I had been screaming silently day and night because I was so hurt and traumatized, and flashbacks and nightmares were as frequent as daily and nightly. Having no voice was intolerable, so I did a blog, all names and places changed to protect identity, and that helped me, I shared my blog with fellow church abuse survivors and survivors groups, friends I made along the way, and the general public via blogger. Although the sheer complexity of my story made it hard for some to understand.
My blog did well for statistics, and had regular readers and followers but I remained anonymous and still suffering.
In the end there were two blogs, one of my day to day life on the streets and one of my life and church story.
But, as I said, I was still suffering. And at the end of March this year, when I finally heard about the Dean being suspended and the supposed apologies by the Bishop and Archbishop, I was not joyful, because I am too badly damaged for what people though was ‘good news’ for me, to have made any difference to me.
Apologies in theory will not mean that I am heard, that I am redeemed or recompensed, it wont mean that the wrongdoers will learn lessons, what it meant to me, when it all came to light, was that ‘too little too late’ was disrupting my life in a horrifying way.
Because although I was still suffering, I had begun to heal and had started to bond with a church and community before the news of all this broke.
The articles in the press, upset that bonding and left me ashamed and broke some of the healing and bonding, especially as people connected to me read the rather inaccurate and damaging Korris report before I was even aware of the Korris report. I only became aware of the Korris report through Bob Hill’s blog.
In the weeks and months after the news got through to me, I was distressed and read only the bites of information on the internet without accessing any blogs or sites as I was overwhelmed and aware that people and Clergy in Jersey were furious and slanderous towards me. as they have increasinlgy been, the Grouville meeting was a shocker! But the Diocese very obviously couldn’t care less, and tried to tell me that I wasn’t suffering. They haven’t changed in the last few years!
I contacted Wolvlsey (The Bishop’s Office) a number of times over the months and received no answer for a number of weeks, I then got a few vague replies from the Bishop’s chaplain, and because I did not know him and was scarred by the safeguarding director’s treatment of me, I didn’t want to speak to Diocesan staff and repeat the suffering, I waited for the Bishop to reply to me.
He never did and never has. He has never spoken to me directly, only through his chaplain.
I only got vague responses from the chaplain, who disbelievingly asked me ‘how was the backlash in Jersey affecting me?’ and so on. Nothing helpful. It reminded me of of the safeguarding director trying to tell me I wasn’t suffering in the Jersey community for reporting EY. Which is ludicrous.
I was becoming increasingly distressed, remembering the safeguarding official’s intervention into my life in Jersey and then again on my return to Winchester, my home town, and because of the Diocese having had me traced by police and then not adequately responding to me.
So I begged the Diocese to confirm that they would leave me alone, they replied with vague threats, veiled as concern, making references to court orders, with no clarification of what they meant or why, after they had caused me such distress, they were not responding and were threatening me.
It remains unclear.
As does the origin of the claim that the Bishop has apologized to me personally. He has recently re-iterated that through his PR Company!
Finally, on the day that the Dean was re-instated on claims that he had ‘acted in good faith’, the Bishop’s chaplain sent an email titled ‘no unsolicited intervention – confirmed’.
A number of years too late.
What a shambles.
At some point in April, I plucked up the courage to open Bob Hill’s blog and read it as it was coming up most frequently on the internet. I expected him to be an angry old Jerseyman protecting the Dean and the establishment! Sorry Bob!
I was surprised and overwhelmed by the support for me on his blog, although I was also shocked to learn of the Korris report and the damage that was doing by causing speculation and incorrect views based on the incorrect reporting in that report. The main body of incorrect information is to do with the safeguarding director and the way her harmful involvement which caused me to ‘go mad’ is omitted.
I replied to some of the comments on Bob’s blog, and Bob put a message up saying that someone claiming to be HG had sent in comments and could that person contact him personally to confirm their identity. I contacted Bob, and ever since then he has been a tremendous support and an excellent mediator for me.
I also learned about the other blogs through Bob’s blog, and have been comforted by the support and amazed at the courage and tenacity of the bloggers, who are like David against Goliath in going up against the corruption and dishonesty in Jersey.
And remember, David won against Goliath despite the odds, (because God was with him).
The bloggers and the many questions I have been asked through the comments sections on the blogs led me to launch this blog, to help people to hear my side.
I have no doubt that the launch of this blog could anger people both in Jersey and in Winchester, but I have lain on that cold ground alone with my silent distress for more than two and a half years now, isn’t it time I spoke? They have put me through hell.
I also still have to put up with that unqualified and inaccurate Korris report being circulated, so what say I keep up this blog and the next and the next until the Bishop removes the Korris report and establishes an independent enquiry, as the current one is a conflict of interests for which he refuses to release the terms of reference and refuses to withdraw?
Don’t kid yourselves that anything that the Diocese of Winchester says or does is about my welfare. if it was, I would have met with them, there would be open dialogue and there would be no inaccurate report published on the internet to glorify the diocese (only it hasn’t).
HG.
I have gone on with my life, but am waiting for the public murder of me by Jane Fisher’s Diocese of Winchester, in the form of the publication of the biased reports that omit my story, my story which is barely published on this blog.
One way or another, after the onslaught of the diocese against me in 2010 and 2011, it was always inevitable that the Diocese of Winchester in their harm of me would kill me, and I always did expect them to relaunch on me as I fled them in 2011, and I always knew that I could not really recover from their actions against me, which were too severely damaging.
I have lived a half-life and lived in fear.
I have suffered horribly because of the Korris rubbish, and have waited to be destroyed publicly by the Steel (Bailhache) report and John Gladwin’s equally biased report that he never got my side of the story for.
Gladwin and Steel have made negative investigations that damn me and exclude my story, and I know that I cannot survive further public libel, maligning and condemning, further jeers by the Jersey Deanery when this rubbish is published, and further cover-ups that protect Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing at my expense, my soul is already too broken to survive any more.
I live condemned, shamed and judged on earth, and I have waited so long for God to be merciful and release me from this condemnation, but it seems He would leave it until I am publicly crucified by Gladwin and Steel.
I don’t actually understand, why is the Steel report being released when the Diocese took out an unjunction against themselves to stop themselves publishing it? why are they having it published when I made a complaint that it is conflicted and against me and omit’s my side? why would they publish it, not having ensured it is balanced by my side of things being added?
Especially seeing as they had me traced and launched all this claiming it was a safeguarding investigation, and yet, have omitted me, including John Gladwin omitting me after a brief ‘show’ meeting that Bob forced on them?
I am going to upset Uncle Bob by talking about the Korris report again.
Uncle Bob is in favour of the Korris report, because he says it is in my favour.
But I am not in favour of it because it is very inaccurate, muddles up times and thus blurs the full situation and makes it unclear, it also omits my views and those of the Churchwarden.
Other things that just annoy me about the Korris report are: she was not adequately qualified to carry it out, it was not an independent report but was influenced by Jane Fisher, who was keen to cover up her henious behaviour, and the Korris report was meant to imitate the Chichester investigation but carried out by someone not qualified and not independent, I have a strong feeling it was hoped by Jane Fisher to come out against me, credit to Korris for ensuring it didn’t, but she was not qualified, as a counsellor who does church of england contracts to carry out the report, and as she does Church contracts, it was not independent.
If anyone argues that Korris was qualified because she was a counsellor, that does not qualify her, and that is backed by the fact that she had to refer to psychiatric books, Butler-Sloss etc and had no understanding of autism, even in the report, where she apparently claims me to not fit the criteria? even though she has never met me and did not understand my spectrum or the fact that I do not approach people in social situations but if people approach me, they can eventually build a relationship with me.
An example of this is me sitting alone in st.A’s and being approached by the churchwarden each time. I would never have approached him.
One of the things that helps me to build relationships is volunteering and church and community tasks, St. ‘s rubbished me as disabled and not of worth as a helper or church member, but in Jersey I was able to take part in activities elsewhere where I could communicate through the activities.
Korris, It was not a well done or professionally executed report, lacking in clear chronology and influenced by the evidence provided by Fisher, who had her own agenda, and possibly Philip leClaire and his dodgy memory! (you are still a sealion, man!) and it has seriously harmed me emotionally, and had my friends not stepped in, it would have driven me to suicide as it is so damaging and incorrect.
You cannot do a report that changes real life into something it wasn’t and not expect people concerned not to be adversely affected.
I am supposed to be showering and going out. But here I am, blogging.
Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, when I was homeless in winchester, kept telling me I was to blame, especially Scott-Joynt, they kept illegally violating my privacy with homeless and other authorities.
In Sussex they told the court they had ‘felt sorry for me’ and ‘tried to help me with housing’, even though, and I have the evidence, they did not have my consent, and with full knowledge that every time they interfered, I lost the help of any service where they interfered and would either be rejected or flee.
Don’t be under any illusion from whatever the Korris report says, about Sussex, I continued to fight back to Fisher, and she and Scott-Joynt tried to do what they failed to do in Winchester and have me put away, and failed again. Because basically, I was not mad, not to blame for their utter failure to safeguard me, I was deeply traumatized and wanted a) for my complaints to be taken seriously and dealt with and b) to know I was safe from further interference;
as the violations behind my back with authorities and services had left me traumatized and feeling unsafe, I am autistic and cannot work out what people are going to do next if they spend years violating me behind my back and leaving my life completely destabilized with no clear future or safety.
Jane Fisher brought charges against me in Sussex, not for the diocese, because I was not in contact with them, I was in contact with her, because she had consistently harmed me, and I did not believe she would stop, she brought charges in liason with Micheal Scott-Joynt, with an attempt to make it look separate, but the fact I had spoken to Hampshire police a few weeks earlier showed that up, their efforts were to have me put away. they failed.
It remains horrifying that despite my pleas, no effort was made to protect me from further interference from the diocese, to which I would respond with fury and fear as I had so far.
Jane Fisher was free to continue to come after me and interfere with my access to authorities, and I was helpless to defend myself and marked by the record she got me.
Basically that is why the diocese were able to launch on me with the police last year and I was helpless.
This is injustice to extremes, being traced and violated by the diocese last year and threatened by the Bishop for pleading to be left alone.
It makes their whole investigation in Jersey a complete sham, because there has been no investigation into Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, instead, I am not just left permenantly branded and without hope or quality of life, and living in fear of the Diocese and their police, I am further branded by what they did last year and the villification of me by the Jersey Deanery.
Basically, I was not and am not mad, but due to the sudden and random relaunch onto me by the diocese in March last year, a continuation of the violations of my human rights and privacy, I was justified in being concerned about having no protection from the Diocese and what they would come up with to harm me next.
I was and am severely traumatized, which is why I answered back personally to the diocese in 2010 and 11, and why I blog now, because basically, my human right is for my side to be heard, and the diocese, then and now, don’t want me to be heard, would not and do not listen, and will only continue their agenda, which harms me.
The fact that Jane Fisher is reading this blog and undoubtely wont like what she reads and will find further ways of covering up, absolving herself at my expense and probably having me further beaten and locked up, branded and traumatized, and there is only so much I can take before I cannot recover, and I am close to that, tells me that I probably never will escape harm at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester.
I can’t find the letter on my blog tonight, but I found a link to where it was posted on Bob Hill’s blog
There were no unpleasant letters from me to anyone except where I was being harmed in some way, I am reactive and have responded to being hurt. In the case of the A’s I was being sexually and emotionally abused, and in the case of A’s Vicar, he and his wife were ignoring my concerns and my deterioration at A’s hands and were allowing A to proceed to hurt me and complain to them and discuss me with them repeatedly in a derogatory way while refusing to speak to me, the cult atmosphere and the way I was lied to by the Vicar and his wife also harmed me. And all things considered, the Vicar and his wife’s attitude when they knew this man was an offender, and the way they discussed me with him negatively while refusing to speak to me, all the while knowing I was obviously increasingly upset, is unspeakably appalling. Basically, despite his history, he was allowed to take me home and abuse me, I deteriorated and nothing was done.
The Anything and Everything CofE blog 