The Residential Homes for the Elderly

There were two homes for the elderly in the parish, almost opposite each other, and I always felt kind of sad about it, because one was a private home for people who could afford it, and the other was a council run home, and the care differences were there, even though the council home didn’t seem too bad.

JM or a team would go to the home to run a communion service or games afternoon sometimes, and, especially in the time I was living in the district, I would go and help with communion at the council home, and also carol services at Christmas.

I remember the door code was 1066 to get in or out, and I remember one old lady saying she was waiting for her husband to collect her, but I don’t know if she was.

I used to help the elderly people with their hymn books, finding the right hymns and holding the book for them if necessary.

It was always both cheerful and sad to share a Carol Service with them at Christmas, cheerful because a lot of them loved it, and sad because they were there, not home with their family.

Sometimes we had rather funny times, like when an old person tried to dance to the hymns. But the best one was an old lady singing wildly out of tune, and her equally elderly companion tutted and said ‘she can’t help it you know’…and then she added ‘It’s her parents I feel sorry for!’.

One of the old ladies used to be brought to church every week, it was what she wanted, although she had dementia and was fading.
She passed away, and I went to her funeral, we had always known her by a particular name, but it turned out that she had two names, and the council home called her by one, and her family called her by the other.
The name that her family knew her as, was the same as my name.

Another sad story on that note, there were two ladies who were very much into the running of things in the church, especially prayers and healing, once upon a time, they didn’t understand me very well but they always said hello, and came to my parties etc.

One of them died suddenly, and I didn’t know what had happened to her companion, just realised she was missing, and so I asked, and the reply was that she was in some care home in town, taken ill and losing her memory.
I was puzzled about how casual people were when I asked about it, and I asked if anyone had been to see her, no, no-one had, no-one, not even the other busy church ladies she had worked with and this was a lady who did so much in the church with her friend, she was simply gone, forgotten.
This was a grim realization, that no matter how hard you work for the church of england, they can discard and forget you as if you were never there.

I was not sure if I was ‘qualified’ to go and see her, and people were so vague, so I didn’t in the end. Me being so shy and not close to her, I felt if her friends didn’t go and see her, how could I?

Bleak to think that eventually I will end up in the council home and forgotten, if the diocese don’t have me put away or snuffed out first.

from ‘Homeless’ written on 09/12/2011 -not sure why I am posting this apart from getting it off the list, too interesting to delete

When I was young and was doing Christmas preparations with my brother,we used to listen to Christmas songs, one of them has these lines in it:

Hallalujah Nowell, be it heaven or hell
at Christmas we get we deserve

Even as a child I puzzled over this, is the singer syaing that people get what they deserve at Christmas? That I deserved last Christmas and the approaching one?

At Christmas there will be so many people who will be facing debt because they have tried to provide presents and a good Christmas for their families, there will be people who face loved ones dying, there will be domestic violence, sometimes fueled by drink and sometimes leaving people needing hospital treatment, there will be affairs and breakups and rapes, there will be children who will be victims of abuse and violence, there will be people who have nothing for Christmas, no presents, no company, no food, (and how I wish I could find them and change that, but they are people who no one realises are there), there will be people who have bad memories at Christmas that includes me and a number of people who I know.

I don’t believe that people always get what they deserve at Christmas, nor does ‘everything come right’. It isn’t always as dramatic as the shock storylines that the soaps do for Christmas where everyone has to die, go missing and get married and come out in order to keep everyone watching, but Christmas can be harsh for good people, and it can be good for bad people, all those wealthy people in the church who made me feel small and abused me will have a good Christmas in that they will have lots of food and nice things, but a majority of them do not really care or get real pleasure from it all.
I loved Christmas even in all those harsh years, until that terrible cruel Christmas with my abusers.

If you know anyone who might be struggling this Christmas, please see if you can help. Don’t give in to all those tv charity adverts (unless you want to), guide dogs for the blind will still be there all year round, so will the rest of them. The stallholders on the market were talking about the old lady downstairs from them, they take her a dinner and wine and presents, no-one else is around for her, my pal who does the christmas lunch says that some of the people they collect for the lunch don’t have any other outing all year.

Why am I rambling on? I don’t know.

I remember the care home I worked for, I remember that I was going to commit suicide that Christmas, but I sent every resident in that 64-bed home a Christmas card with their name in, I got my friend who worked in the home to give me all their names and whether they preferred to be called by their first name, last name or nickname, and all of them got a personal card, my friend kept coming out and hugging me and saying how happy some of the residents were because it was the only card they had got or that they were amazed that the gardener knew their name and things like that, I got a few cards in return from them and their families and I made a few new friends that way.

Everybody needs to be loved and feel a sense of belonging, even more so at Christmas.
I remember feeling despondent before Christmas 2005, and I remember Lesley saying to me ‘you are not alone, there are so many other people who feel isolated at this time, and Christmas is so family-orientated that people think of happy families, and those who haven’t got happy families do feel left out’.

The quiz last night raised over £400 for the Salvation Army, who provide Christmas meals and presents and food for many poor people who would have nothing otherwise.
If you have a good Christmas to look forward to, then thank God for it, and please pray for those who are dreading this Christmas.

what did the Korris report miss out or describe inaccurately part 1 of an exhaustive lists

The Korris report allowed Jane Fisher to cover up her misconduct. And the Korris report was written without any attempt to contact me and get my views or ask if I still had a complaint. And basically after destroying me for persuing my complaint, an enquiry that omits me and my views, years later and leaves me humiliated and suffering, is not acceptable..
It was written and then I was launched upon by the police and diocese, who used the Korris report as an excuse to once again violate my life.

Let me start giving you an accurate account of the things that the Korris report misses out, this first section describes Jane Fisher’s interference in my life on my return to Winchester, where she had me tricked and trapped in her associate’s house, and how she used my traumatized and horrified reaction to that against me in court in Sussex without telling the court what had caused my reaction. Please note it is also omitted from the Korris report that Jane Fisher brought charges against me in Sussex, the only thing I saw written in the Korris report about it before I collapsed with distress is something vague about me being arrested after being found outside th Bishop’s house, Jane Fisher exonorating herself yet again. That is certainly NOT what happened.

• I described Jane Fisher and the Bishop’s friend who trapped me in her house as Julia Willis, I think it was Wills, not Willis. She lived in Upper Brook Street, Winchester.
• Julia was called Juli for short and lived in upper Brook Street, tricked me indoors just before Christmas 2010 without letting me know she knew Jane Fisher and the Bishop, and said ‘Jane said you would react like this’ when I found out, she then tried to trap me in the house as I went to leave.
• Apparently Jane Fisher went to the Trinity Centre (homeless centre) after Christmas with things I left behind at Juli’s house.
• Jane Fisher proceeded to use that visit to interfere in my relationship with the Trinity centre and my homeless friend ‘Haggis’ who was used to pass messages to me. My friendship with Haggis broke as I no longer trusted him.
• I fled from Juli on Christmas eve and kept phoning Jane because I was utterly shocked and in despair and my Christmas was ruined
• Jane claimed in court in Sussex that I phoned or texted her 40 times that Christmas eve, and claims I contacted her at a time when I had gone into an unlocked church after midnight mass and gone to sleep. She omitted from the court that I phoned her because of Juli. 
• Basically Jane Fisher has got away with seriously damaging me with her interference and has ruined me for my reaction.
• If you were alone, isolated and vulnerable, how would you cope with the safeguarding officer from hell intervening in your life, getting her story accross to protect the Diocese with no thought of the damage to you, repeatedly intervening behind your back until you could trust no-one and making you out to be mad for your reactions?

Here is another example of concerns surrounding the Korris report and it’s omissions, as well as concerns about the Diocese, this was sent to the Diocese and the police a few months ago, and yet nothing has been done about Jane Fisher.

I am also writing to make further formal observations about Jane Fisher for my formal complaint against her.

• As follows:  Bishop Tim’s threats against me appear to be because the Korris report incorrectly claimed I was under a restraining order that prevented me ‘contacting church officers’
• This, as far as I know, is untrue and again appears to be Jane Fisher’s doing, the court case in Sussex involved Jane Fisher and Bishop scott-Joynt bringing charges against me. No mention was made of church officers or church staff, and you need the trascripts to see both that and to be made aware of other untruths by Jane Fisher and the Bishop which were told in court.
• I have very little understanding of anything told in court but nothing was mentioned except Bishop Scott-Joynt and Jane Fisher’s charges against me, no mention of anything to do with anyone else in the church was made, and the aim, from what Jane Fisher amd Bishop Scott-Joynt appeared to be doing, was again to have me put away as mad.
• The outcome is beyond my understanding but was not what Bob has told me this morning, a ‘restraining order’, they spoke of a ‘community order’ which is not the same thing, the only thing Bob was correct on was something to do with a map to do with the Bishop’s house, I was given a map but no-one told me what it meant and I cannot read maps.
• The map meant that I could not go back to an area that I loved and where I used to work, the area where the Bishop had moved to, and that was very upsetting to me, I had been back there before I knew the Bishop had moved there as it was a happy memory and not something Jane Fisher had taken off me like Winchester.
• I worked near where the Bishop moved to, the Bishop’s new house was on a driveway shared with the shop, and I never went on the Bishop’s property or sent him letters, I went to the shop by his house, where I had been long before he lived there, when I used to work nearby.
• Jane Fisher appears to have made the case and outcome into what she wanted and what covered her back in the Korris report.
• If she did not and there was really a restraining order for two years that I should not contact church officers, then why was this not explained to me? It most certainly was not!!!!!!!!! and i do not believe it to be the case! no wonder Dakin was threatening me, BUT!
• why if there was a restraining order, did Dakin have me traced within the two years?! basically, he and the police by tracing me, were inciting me to break a ‘restraining order’!
• But, there was no restraining order, the Korris report has further shockingly harmed me by again covering Jane Fisher’s back and making something up, Jane Fisher did not bring charges on behalf of the church, the Diocese or Wolvsley, she liased with the Scott-Joynts and brought charges against me for herself when I was in custody for Bishop scott-Joynt!!!!!!!!!!! And in court she said that she ‘wanted to go on helping me’, can you imagine that after years and years of me screaming at Scott-Joynt to withdraw her! and that she has got me a record I will not recover from!  Can you imagine that, she was bringing charges against me, presumably having me put under a restraining order and then ‘wanting to help me!’ I left court feeling that her ‘wanting to help me’ was her continuing to force herself on me, especially behind my back,  and have me charged every time I objected!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I went on the run and changed my name!
• And I did face further intrusions either because of my record or because of further attempts by Jane Fisher.
• This has been one-sided for too long.
• I suppose the reason they launched this report this year is because Jane Fisher thought the community order or whatever else would be expired and not relevant, and she would not be investigated, I do want her investigated, and I will never ever recover from what she has done, that criminal record means I will never work or be part of society again, nor will I ever ever come to terms with it. The reason I want to die is the police brutality and records.
• I did not go to the Scott-Joynt’s house, ever, I did not go on their property unless they own the shop driveway and I have been going to that shop since I was in my early 20’s, when the Scott-Joynts were still described by Juliet as the ‘Snobs at Wolvsley’.
• I did not send anything to the Scott-Joynts, i was reliving my time of working in West Sussex, when I was happy and useful and strong
• The closest i got to the Scott-Joynts was being tempted to water a planter on their side of the driveway with my water bottle as the plant was parched, and phoning them as Bishop scott-Joynt had walked away leaving me destitute and destroyed, especially by the Jersey matter and police brutality and detention on 14/02/11, from which I will never recover.
• Any human being, autistic or not, would be outraged that someone responsible could walk away from a mess like that, and he was walking away from my complaint against Jane Fisher, leaving her to continue to harm me and other vulnerable adults, which is not acceptable, the police told me it was Jane fisher who had had me detained on 14/02/11 on behalf of the Bishop, and in Jersey it was also Jane Fisher on behalf of the Bishop.
• Why is jane Fisher still working with vulnerable adults?
• why was this slanderous and inaccurate Korris report published and since the innacuracies are showing up and damaging me, why is it not withdrawn? The Diocese of Winchester are showing through leaving the Korris report online, that they are not just not commited to safeguarding vulnerable adults but they do not care about the further damage they are inflicting on a vulnerable adult.
• This is also the case regarding Bob key’s vague and directionless apology, why has that been put online for show? I was never made aware of that apology. The Diocese did not make me aware of it, and they did not warn me they were reinstating the Dean, they had previously said they would not reinstate him without investigation, and then they did.
• Jane Fisher and the Diocese have used me as a pawn to put these awful things online for public view with no thought to my feelings at all and have damaged me terribly, so, why is Jane fisher still working with vulnerable adults and why am I being made to suffer and when are the Diocese and church going to remove these things?!

Further points on Jane Fisher:

• why, after I screamed for her to be withdrawn after her bullying of me and refusal to deal with my complaint, was she allowed to contact the prison and continue to rape my life and force on me there? when I asked to see the methodist or catholic chaplain, I was made to see the frothy airhead church of england chaplain and it was not confidential as jane Fisher was behind it, would any of you like to be in prison and have something you did not want forced on you by one of the people who had put you in prison?! and don’t be fooled by the way jane Fisher has excused herself for putting me in prison, she is as responsible as Bob Key and Michael Scott-Joynt, she had me arrested after not dealing with my complaints or my abusers and after bullying me until I hated her and screamed for her to be withdrawn.
• This is important and appears to have been omitted: The Korris report claims that I was refusing help and diagnosis, which was never the case and is verifiable. This ‘refusal of help and diagnosis’ is Jane Fisher’s excuse for interfering and calling meetings behind my back and against my human rights of privacy and dignity. 
• In my last months in Jersey I was under my doctor’s care, on anti-depressants and awaiting a psychology appointment with the new specialist psychologist who specialized in autism. I had previously asked jane Fisher, when I was on speaking terms, to help me with hospital and specialist treatment forms when she went on about helping me, but she laughed as if it was a joke and so I ended up in prison rather than receiving the care and therapy I was trying to apply for. As for the social worker, I was finding it hard to find times to meet her outside of work and other commitments, was not able to meet her after I lost my car when I went on the run from jane Fisher and Tracy’s attempt to section me, I also have the right and choice as an adult to end relationships and in the case of the social worker I was not benefitting and was afraid of another sectioning attempt, so I did as I have a right to do, and ended the relationship, It was none of jane fisher’s business, nor should she have had any leeway to find out about my social care or therapeutic relationships without my leave, and seeing as she had scorned my request for help with hospital and therapy forms as if it was a joke, then she should not have been intruding in the way that SHE chose, behind my back and intrusively.
• The intrusions by Jane Fisher, both in Jersey and Winchester are illegal, a form of harrassment and very damaging to a private person with autism. She did not and could not do these intrusions under the mental capacity act as she was not qualified to judge my mental capacity, she was basically doing what she wanted, unsupervised, unqualified, and has managed to cover up for herself very very well by influencing the Korris report, which is left online despite the known inaccuracies, and continues to harm me.
• The police authority need to ask why I was traced by the diocese through the police when I was under this ‘restraining order’ if it exists, and why the police where deliberately inciting a crime? why would the police who refused my pleas for protection from Jane Fisher and the Diocese an treated me as if I was mad and went ahead and brutalized and destroyed me allowed to come after me and violate my privacy for the Diocese and drag me back into this sorry mess, only to have me threatened because Bishop Dakin wrongly believes that there is a restraining order, if there is, I was not told of it, and if there isn’t, that is because Jane Fisher has lied to the Korris report and to Bishop Dakin and others, and this needs to be looked into before Jane Fisher works with any other vulnerable adult!

This email is to be taken into account in my complaint against jane Fisher, and diocese and police are to be aware of it, also to be aware of the depth of scarring that the criminal record, engineered from Jersey to Winchester and Sussex by Jane Fisher will never ever heal, I will never live indoors, be part of society or work or feel safe again, because Jane Fisher of the Winchester Diocese destroyed me for her own reasons and unsupervised and un-withdrawn by Bishop Scott-Joynt despite me begging him to withdraw her.

She is not suitable to work with vulnerable adults because not only is she a loose canon with no empathy or understanding of her actions, but she has been dishonest repeatedly throughout this five years and can be very nasty and excused her nastiness too late by claiming, despite her position and experience with autism, not to understand autism.

Basically I am ruined, and the Diocese dragging me into this again in March and dragging me through every kind of condemnation and humiliation as a pawn has been horrific for me, it will take another five years from when I bow out in three weeks time, for me to begin to feel better, I have been a pawn in a game, I have been used so the Diocese could show off online a very damaging and inaccurate report called the Korris Report, and also a very empty apology for the Dean, to make it look like the Diocese cared about safeguarding when in reality, what they have done to me through this past five months has proved just the opposite, but the thing is, as before, I have no voice, I am not heard, I am drowned out in the Bishop’s threats and the attacks from Jersey, I am scapegoated and always will be, and if you look at that situation, do you wonder that I want to die? I have been dragged into this and had to listen to 40 pages of rubbish shouted at me from Korris, with no input of my own, I have been threatened with a court order that as far as I know does not exist, I have been dragged in and threatened even though I was dragged in and hurt by the lies in the Korris report and my reaction is greeted by threats, does anyone think safeguarding has improved in anything other than the shiny press image that the church of england are creating?

I don’t, nor do the Chichester victims.

I am furious at the extent to which Jane Fisher has got away with this, including herself not being investigated in the Korris report and her cover ups.

Bishop Dakin will not be proving anything good if he does not take action about Jane Fisher, and if he does not, he will be deliberately leaving vulnerable people at risk, but what do I matter? In three weeks I go back to living in fear of the police and suffering trauma alone, no resolution and the wounds not just opened by the Diocese’s actions over the past five months but gouged deeper and more jagged.

The Diocese dragged me back in, through the police and have hurt and damaged me through their Korris report, had the Dean cleared and have done nothing for me, and as long as I have a criminal record, there is nothing they or anyone else can ever do for me.

sincerely,