A Question for the Diocese

How many other abuse survivors will you or have you launched on and left maligned and smeared and having to use media such as this to defend themselves and tell their true story after defamatory reports and smear campaigns leave them ruined and misrepresented?

What you did was not safeguarding or anything to do with it, it was a very badly failed PR stunt.
You have inflicted terrible damage on me for no reason, I may have a temper, but I also have conditions, and have been in circumstances that influence/ed that.

I think what you have done is terrible, it has injured me terribly and was the most foolhardy and aimless and dangerous action that could possibly have been taken, and I remain suffering the consequences every day, and if you further the damage with more reports that omit me, you will either increase my suffering or kill me.

Three emails sent to Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Jonyt at the beginning of January 2011, graphic content, don’t read if easily offended, I was being driven mad by their violations of my rights and privacy

withdraw Jane Fisher from harming me,
what you have done to me in your lack of duty of care and allowing fisher to spit on me in the first place,
what you have done in taking my life from me on behalf of wrong doers and judging this matter unjustly
is more than enough to ensure that I will never recover

You dont need to attack me through fisher and keep harming me
you dont need to send me lying emails

you do need to withdraw fisher or I will get her done for harassment or ensure a restraining order on her
I do not want to livethe remains of this difficult and distrssing life
being punched in the face by people who fisher manipulates to do so,
it is horrifying

no matter how you yap about helping me
you do not and cannot help me or even pretend to,
you are the ones who destoyed me
horribly
and each intervention from you
drives me further from society
wounds me further

what you are doing to me in intervening
is like a man kidnapping a woman
chaining her to a bed and raping her repeatedly
that is how vile and horrific what you are doing to me is
while I cannot escape.
no matter what you or your insurers and lawyers think
you are not helping me and cannot
and I am reasonably asking you to withdraw

just to add, imagine that man telling the woman he is raping that he is doing it for her benefit, and that sums up exactly what the diocese of winchester have and are doing to me.
because of the diocese interventions I will be on the streets for the rest of my life, and currently without food or money, I have no friends or support services to turn to as the diocese has violated all of these, and now I am ill, this would be a good time for someone to say ‘why dont we leave her alone?’ and give me a yes or no, will you withdraw or does it have to be legal action?

The only reasons I can think of for you to continue these attacks it to try and drive me to despair and attempted suicide as you did before, so you can try and have me locked up again,
try and drive me mad with anger and pain as before so you can have me convicted again,
try and drive me to a complete breakdown so that I become incapable,
what you are doing to me is horrifying and is very frightening to me,
I am going to continue to ask, through the police and the court and the church and everyone possible,
for Jane Fisher to be withdrawn from intervening in my life,
I am terrified of a future like a minefield of Jane Fisher interventions.
you are only lying to yourselves when you make out that what you have done and are doing is anything to do with helping me.

please let me know that fisher will be withdrawn.

An email to Jane Fisher

Email to Jane Fisher, posted on my blog:

Dear Jane Fisher,

I have had a very difficult day, with flashbacks to traumas associated with you.

As you may have noticed, this was posted on my blog recently, from a historic email that you sent to me:

I know the Dean does not disbelieve what you have said. Nor does he side with **** The Dean is in a difficult position in that he too has to work within the procedures that govern the church. The Dean hasn’t sided with ****  or against you. He has to make sure that he is neutral so he can make any decisions or recommend any action without being biased. If that has seemed to you to be taking ****’s side against you I am sorry – and that really isn’t the case.

I have to ask then, why exactly did the Diocese suspend and then clear the Dean? If you considered him to be neutral?

If you did not consider the Dean seeing the abuser first and later in conversations with you and Martyn, rubbishing my complaint to be biased, then why, in March last year, did you publicly launch on him and me and wreck my life again?

It remains a mystery.

As you may have realised, I currently live indoors, but am unlikely to be able to keep living indoors.

This is because:

• I have daily flashbacks to what you have done to harm me, and it makes life very hard 
• Because of the record that you got me, I cannot work, be a useful part of society or belong anywhere properly
• I am purposeless and without any hope of quality of life or usefulness in society, living on the streets gave me the purpose of survival and the joy of freedom and my companions on the road
• I am now isolated, directionless, suffering the full horror of what you have done to harm me, in poverty and barely able to keep myself fed and pay the rent
• There is simply nothing here, this is not Jersey, where I had work, education and community roles, and those things cannot be brought back after three years of homelessness, police brutality and a record that I will never learn to live with, and which will leave me vulnerable to police and medical misenterpretation for the rest of my life
• Last year, before you launched on me and wrecked my life, I was building towards being able to do some form of work, as I will not be allowed to remain on ESA forever, sadly, your onslaught, and I say yours because there is no doubt that this mess originates from you, has left me broken and useless, and facing the transfer to JSA and the hell of hunting for jobs and not getting any because what employer in their right mind would take someone disabled, just off the streets, severely disturbed and with the record you have given me? I am not fit for work, nor will I be able to subsist on JSA and keep a roof over my head. Had you and your diocese not launched on me, I think I would have been able to go self-employed, maybe as a cleaner or something, because my body is too damaged to return to my trade as a gardener. The other problem with JSA is that I would lose my benefits every week through sanctions as I cannot use a phone properly.

What you did to me in getting me a police record because you didn’t deal with my complaint, was not justice, because you didn’t also face trial for your wrongs and were dishonest about me to police, courts and others, and it was not punishment, I mean, what ‘safeguarding director’ would punish a destroyed abuse survivor for her reaction to the ‘safeguarding director’s refusal to deal with a complaint?

You ruined me, and you ruined me to cover your and the Bishop’s wrongs, you upheld Bob Key in his action against me and let him lie to a court of (sic) law, 

The extract of your email above is a part of the bigger reason I went mad, you constantly denied my complaint and protected the wrongdoers and villified me in the church, I knew what had happened to me, and you cannot tell someone with autism that what happened to them did not.

I remember, and it is all conveniently totally missed out of the Korris report, how you refused to engage with my complaint that the Dean had called me wicked and said I wasn’t abused, you, and Tracy who you liased with, and Lou scott-Joynt, tried to excuse it for being about me turning up at the Deanery, no excuse at all, and Bob Key lied to the police and court that I turned up swearing and shouting, when I did not, I went to the Deanery when Lou Scott-Joynt said ‘Oh, what has Bob done?’ as if he had done nothing wrong in the first place, just as your email above implies.

So many lies and misconducts from church employees, and not one has faced justice, while I have faced utter ruin. You are responsible for this and for taking responsibility for what you have done, so until you stop and reverse the harm to me and take responsibility for yourself, you should not be in the position that you are in.

The thing with all these investigations is, they are not real because they have protected you and not taken my evidence, I have much more than the email above, but no-one has asked to see them, because from the Korris report onwards it was not about me or any vulnerable person, it was about back-covering, self-glorification by the church, and constitutional issues in Jersey, otherwise a proper account of you provoking me would have been included, and you would have been suspended and investigated instead of allowing to influence the investigation and encourage Bishop Dakin to treat me like dirt.

You consistently denied and refused to acknowledge my complaints, you made me out to be paranoid.

But if Bob key was doing everything right and was neutral, why exactly did you publicly launch on him?

And, if the Jersey Deanery’s side of things, that Bob Key met the abuser first and then me because I was harassing the abuser, then why did you allow Bob key to continue to be involved if he had taken their case? Because that is a conflict of interests that not even you can justify.

You tried to get me to meet with Key again in that same email of which the extract above is from, why? in light of  you accusing him of not following procedure last year, why did you want me to meet with him then, by which time you knew that he wasn’t following correct procedure and had rubbished my complaint in communication with you and Martyn, and yet, just as you did and continued to do throughout my time in Jersey, you rubbished me.

And this has ended up with me on death row, no quality of life, in fear of you and the Diocese again and being forced on by you and the Diocese again, while being villified by the Jersey Deanery, basically no change from 2008-2011, except that you cannot dub me as mad any more, you are being watched by many people because of the almighty public mess, you have left me truly ruined and a lot weaker in mind and body than before, and I am pretty much on death row, nothing to live for and waiting for more unbalanced back-covering reports that will further ruin me.

And no doubt you can explain it all away, on earth, yes, but God will not forgive you when you say your lines, and when you get to heaven you will be the one one facing court with no voice, as God sentences you for taking me life, because you have. You are just lucky you will never be thrown to the ground by the police and dragged by the scruff of your neck, exposing you and choking you, God has no need for the senseless brutality that you have had inflicted on me.

a re-post of the formal complaint against the Diocese, sent last year

Formal complaint about the handling of the Winchester Diocese/Jersey Deanery Investigation:

During March this year I was contacted by the police on behalf of the Diocese of Winchester, this should not have happened, considering the way the Diocese have had me detained and brutalized by the police, they should not have had me traced, if you have someone brutalized for contacting you, even if it was only responding to you and legitimately trying to get a complaint dealt with, then you should not trace that person and provoke them.
The shock was great but the Diocese were not forthcoming even with an apology for the shock. They were vague even as to why they had traced me.
It was some time later that I saw that the Dean had been suspended and the ‘apologies’ in the paper.
The Diocese have continued to be vague and unhelpful, I do not understand why they traced me just to be unhelpful. I was kind of wanting to be grateful about the apologies but also knowing that they were shallow and just words.
My deep and serious concern was that they were going to continue meddling in my life behind my back as they did in Jersey and Winchester, and the horror would simply re-start, the cycle of interventions, hurts to me, response to me and police attacks for my response.
And the response I got from them made me sure this was what was going to happen, the Bishop randomly threatened me with court orders and refused to elaborate on what court order he was threatening me with and why! Seeing as he had traced me, why was he now threatening me? He should have left me alone! That remains the case.
I heard, through the Jersey bloggers that the problem was that five years too late, the Diocese had decided to look at my complaint and suspend the Dean.
Thankfully, Bob Hill and the Jersey bloggers got involved, and from them I learned that this was about a report called the Korris report.
Now the Bishop had more people watching him and watching me, he didn’t seem to interested in bullying me and making threats.
The Korris report though, was so awful and inaccurate that it nearly drove me to suicide, so did Bob’s questioning of me about my side of things, so here I was, dragged into a nightmare.
The Bishop went silent after I replied to his threats telling him that if he was to have me arrested then the press were to be alerted and told that he had arrested the person he was claiming to apologize to. I asked him to confirm that his diocese would not intervene and he and the Diocese tried to make me out to be asking for withdrawal of contact, not withdrawal of intervention.
 There never was any apology or clarity from the Diocese, they appeared to have traced me because they had been put under pressure to, not because they had anything to say or any support to offer.
The Diocese asked nothing about my circumstances, showed no sign of caring, fluffed some words about being sorry, not an apology, and told me that the Dean would not be reinstated without an enquiry.
Shortly after that the Dean was reinstated without an enquiry
The same day, the Bishop answered my question about intervention from the Diocese, he sent a subject box saying ‘no unsolicited intervention -confirmed’ he knew I would not open an email from him after his threat.
 There was no message from the Bishop as to why he had waited until the day he reinstated the Dean to say that, there was no warning to me that he was reinstating the Dean and no passing on of the Dean’s very empty and meaningless apology that was never sent to me.
The hate campaign against me from the Deanery of Jersey did not stop when the Dean was reinstated and the Bishop did nothing about it.
The hate campaign included a one-sided meeting where the Deanery attacked the Diocese and used me as a scapegoat.
Basically, within months of being traced I was vilified, threatened, had received no genuine apologies, had seen the Archbishop and Bishop bow to the Jersey authorities and seen the Dean reinstated as a result.
 Due to the threats, the lack of any form of acceptable apology, the Bishop telling me that the Dean would not be reinstated and then reinstating him without warning or investigation, my feelings towards the Diocese were not good, they had handled this badly.
Bob Hill had also been messed about, now acting as my mediator he had been untruthfully or incorrectly told by the Diocese that the Bishop was not reinstating the Dean that day. It showed that the Diocese had not changed under the new Bishop.
So, so far, shocking tracing through the police, no real explanation, apology or sympathy from the Diocese, threats, inconsistency about reinstatement of the Dean, all of this not good for me, and the hate campaign in Jersey wounding me, as it still is.
The Korris report was written without my views, and my email addresses were known to the Diocese, so instead of tracing me to have my views added, which they or Jan korris had done, they had the report done and then traced me through the police. Maybe the reasoning was that I had blocked Jane Fisher and it was claimed I blocked the Diocese when I only blocked Jane.
The police tracing me under my new identity for the Diocese has left me shocked and frightened and I am still waiting to hear exactly how DC Jonathan Swift has damaged my personal life by tracing me, ei, how he traced me.
The Diocese have damaged me from the outset of this by tracing me through the police.
The Bishop launched an investigation/visitaion into the findings of the Korris report, but made no attempt to let me know about this or explain it, nor did he let Bob know on my behalf.
The Bishop claimed in the press to have apologized to me personally, which was very distressing as he had not personally apologized and has not personally apologized, and this has been very annoying.
The first half of the visitation was to be led by John Gladwin, but the Terms of Reference have been and are very vague, I don’t understand them.
The second part of the investigation is led by Dame Heather Steele and is conflicted by her being a close colleague of some of the judicial and political figures that have either been involved negatively or who are involved negatively in the campaign against me in support of the Dean.
The Bishop has refused to acknowledge this conflict or withdraw Dame Steele from the enquiry. He also, until the last minute, very recently, refused to release her terms of reference, and now released, they are very vague.
I refuse to be involved in that side of the enquiry, so the result will not be balanced, although the conflict would mean it would be hard to balance it anyway.
 Dame Steele made a callous and incongruent attempt to access my records through my former advocate who didn’t represent me at all well in October 2010. She had no right to do so, and her vague terms of reference do not state anything about her investigating my records. This was a violation and another insult on top of all the others.
I started a blog about this whole disaster but have withdrawn it as it doesn’t help.
I have been treated all along as if I am an object, my feelings, thoughts and input are not being taken into account, the Bishop has been unhelpful, untruthful, and not in any way sympathetic or helpful, he has refused to respond to Bob Hill or communicate via Bob Hill even though Bob is my mediator.
Five months have now gone by since the police traced me, and I am still unclear as to why I have been traced, I have received no personal apologies, I have been threatened, I have had a hate campaign directed at me, I have had no clarity from the Diocese as to what they expect from me, I have had no kindness, no helpfullness, no clarity from them,I have been put under exceptional stress because of this matter and have had my life and therapy disrupted.
And because this response to my complaint is five years too late and slapdash and lacking in any clarity, I do not know why they bothered, it is in the past, and even now, judging by the mess and the nastiness, it isn’t even going to be resolved, and there is very little that can recompense me for the hate campaign and Korris report and how I have been damaged through those. And it will not undo the damage done, five years later and the other side of police brutality and a criminal record.
Tim Dakin claims to be persuing the Jersey matter because Vulnerable people need to be treated properly, but he has treated me like dirt and not even taken my condition, both homeless-wise nor autism-wise into account, and thus I wonder if Bob is right, that this is not about me but about issues between the Diocese of Winchester and the Deanery of Jersey, in which case, his dragging me into this is even worse, because I am just a pawn.
If the Bishop cares about vulnerable people, why has he handled me so badly? Is it because Jane Fisher is advising him? I am most annoyed and keep having new shocks launched on me and it is doing uncontrolled damage
So in three weeks time I am leaving the investigation/visitation, and if anyone wants further information, statements or interviews, they need to arrange them quickly.

This is my complaint into being traced and the investigation and ‘apologies’, I want it reviewed and replied to, but not in five years time!

screaming

I feel like screaming. Screaming at the Diocese

‘why have you reabused me and had me publicly flogged again?’
‘why did you publicly attack the Jersey Deanery so that they publicly flogged me?’
‘why did you bow to the Jersey Deanery?’
‘Why have you let me go on suffering?’
‘Why have you not arranged for my side of things to be included in any investigation?’
‘Why are you leaving me ruined and waiting for your inaccurate reports which omit my side, to be published?’
‘why did you think arranging ‘help’ for me without my consent was anything other than a violation and re-abuse?’

The problem is, you can scream anything you like at those Godless people, and they don’t care and never will.
Which is why they had me destroyed before.

Another plea to the Diocese

Dear Bishop and Diocese of Winchester,

I am asking you for my life and freedom .

I live here, in poverty but generally fed and clean and looking after myself well. My only barriers are that poverty makes accessing some things harder and I daren’t use NHS medical services as a result of you tracing me through the police and because I have no been treated well by the NHS as a result of your repeated attempts to have me sectioned.

I like my home, I like watching movies and sleeping in my soft duvet when I overcome my terror and manage to sleep, I like making cups of tea and going for gentle walks.

Please, do not harm me further by interventions and press releases and threats, let me go on living and don’t intervene further.

You have significantly reduced my quality of life through your actions over the years, and you should be satisfied with that and feel no need to further injure and damage me.

I dislike unsolicited interventions, and as an adult human being, I have a right to protest your interventions and that harm that they inflict.

sincerely,

HG

Terrible, a disgrace

I am supposed to be showering and going out. But here I am, blogging.

Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, when I was homeless in winchester, kept telling me I was to blame, especially Scott-Joynt, they kept illegally violating my privacy with homeless and other authorities.
In Sussex they told the court they had ‘felt sorry for me’ and ‘tried to help me with housing’, even though, and I have the evidence, they did not have my consent, and with full knowledge that every time they interfered, I lost the help of any service where they interfered and would either be rejected or flee.

Don’t be under any illusion from whatever the Korris report says, about Sussex, I continued to fight back to Fisher, and she and Scott-Joynt tried to do what they failed to do in Winchester and have me put away, and failed again. Because basically, I was not mad, not to blame for their utter failure to safeguard me, I was deeply traumatized and wanted a) for my complaints to be taken seriously and dealt with and b) to know I was safe from further interference;
 as the violations behind my back with authorities and services had left me traumatized and feeling unsafe, I am autistic and cannot work out what people are going to do next if they spend years violating me behind my back and leaving my life completely destabilized with no clear future or safety.
Jane Fisher brought charges against me in Sussex, not for the diocese, because I was not in contact with them, I was in contact with her, because she had consistently harmed me, and I did not believe she would stop, she brought charges in liason with Micheal Scott-Joynt, with an attempt to make it look separate, but the fact I had spoken to Hampshire police a few weeks earlier showed that up, their efforts were to have me put away. they failed.
It remains horrifying that despite my pleas, no effort was made to protect me from further interference from the diocese, to which I would respond with fury and fear as I had so far.
Jane Fisher was free to continue to come after me and interfere with my access to authorities, and I was helpless to defend myself and marked by the record she got me.
Basically that is why the diocese were able to launch on me with the police last year and I was helpless.
This is injustice to extremes, being traced and violated by the diocese last year and threatened by the Bishop for pleading to be left alone.
It makes their whole investigation in Jersey a complete sham, because there has been no investigation into Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, instead, I am not just left permenantly branded and without hope or quality of life, and living in fear of the Diocese and their police, I am further branded by what they did last year and the villification of me by the Jersey  Deanery.

Basically, I was not and am not mad, but due to the sudden and random relaunch onto me by the diocese in March last year, a continuation of the violations of my human rights and privacy, I was justified in being concerned about having no protection from the Diocese and what they would come up with to harm me next.
I was and am severely traumatized, which is why I answered back personally to the diocese in 2010 and 11, and why I blog now, because basically, my human right is for my side to be heard, and the diocese, then and now, don’t want me to be heard, would not and do not listen, and will only continue their agenda, which harms me.

The fact that Jane Fisher is reading this blog and undoubtely wont like what she reads and will find further ways of covering up, absolving herself at my expense and probably having me further beaten and locked up, branded and traumatized, and there is only so much I can take before I cannot recover, and I am close to that, tells me that I probably never will escape harm at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester.

lets bust this miff

there is a miff that I took an injunction against the Diocese to stop the Steel report.

Well I feel miffed about it anyway, because.

I did not and could not have stopped the Steel report.

I wrote the Diocese a legal letter because their constant interference and illegal referrals of me to agencies such as the NSPCC was an intrusion and a violation of my life, I was indeed aware from Bob Hill of how hostile Dame Steel was and how she had biased the report against me and was not interested in my side of things.

But, when you have no money, and legal aid will only be granted for certain things, taking out an injunction for a report that you cannot verify the contents of, is not possible.

In November, when all this was going on, I was exhausted from Post Viral fatigue, which I thought was the return of the M.E/fibromyalgia illness I had when I was younger, I was not well, and I was being driven mad by the Church of England’s arrogant intusions and illegal arrangements for me without my consent, and so was entitled to legally warn them, ask the police for assistance, and if necessary take out an injunction for harassment, I did not take out an injunction at the time, and did not prevent the Steel report being published, this is not to say that I will not take out an injunction of the Diocese do not stop harming me, but, in true Church of England Style, the Bishop’s chaplain is also a trained barrister, I bet he and the Jersey clergy-lawyers have been having great fun over all this.
And Jesus looked on in disbelief.

If the Church of England claim to have been legally stopped from publishing the report, I am curious as to who stopped them, it would not be anyone in Jersey, as the report was done on behalf of the Jersey contingent, it was not me, as I was powerless, and who in the Diocese would know what was in the report to prevent it being published? The only person with a vested interest, who has committed misconduct, would be Jane Fisher, I guess, or Michael Scott-Joynt. But how would Bishop Scott-Joynt know the content of the report?

letter to the Bishop

Dear Bishop of Winchester,

while the police refuse to protect me from you, I will continue to plead.

You claimed in the press to have provided help for me, but you had not got my permission to arrange help or refer me to anywhere, and after the severe damage you had done to me, and are doing, your ‘arrangement of help for me’ without any consent from me, was simply a violation and a continuation of years of damaging, unjust and immoral violations of me by the diocese of Winchester, and also it remains that you had not at any time taken my full story into account and had threatened me with an unjust court order that came about as a result of your Diocese’s incompetence, lack of safeguarding, and untruths about me to police and court.

The fact that you referred me to the NSPCC without my consent or imput, when they failed me as a child and have connections with Jimmy Savile and have made things worse for his victims, and you have unlawfully passed information, undoubtedly incorrect information as your employees have done wrong and covered up, has further violated and harmed me.

I remain deeply traumatized, a fugitive, living in fear of the Diocese of Winchester and unable to either remove myself from poverty and restore my health, or live a normal life.

As a citizen of this country, I have the right to live in peace, be protected by law, and carry out normal every day life, your ongoing harm to me has prevented me from doing this for over three years now, and especially in the past year when you have ripped my new life apart.

I am in poor health as a result of abuse and trauma, police brutality and psychological harm from Jane Fisher. I cannot visit a doctor as I believe that is how the police may have traced me last year to enable you to use me in your self-glorifying pretence of caring about safeguarding, which resulted in the Jersey Deanery hate campaign against me and months of negative, libellous and inaccurate press coverage against me, including your untruth about apologizing to me while you harmed me yourself by omitting me from investigations, treating me like dirt and threatening me.

Why did you threaten me when it was you who launched on me? It shows that the Diocese has learned nothing about safeguarding or Christianity, because that is a repeat of what has happened all along, the diocese fail me, violate me, and attack me legally for my response! I am utterly disgusted, you have permenantly removed my quality of life and every single day for me is weighed down by being a fugitive and branded criminal, while my abusers do not suffer any of this, and even if justice was ever done, not one of the wrongdoers in this will ever suffer what I am suffering.

Not that I would wish this on any of them but Jane Fisher. Who’s unpunished dishonesty and bullying and support of the the wrongdoers proclaims that the diocese of winchester remains the friend of abusers and an enemy of real safeguarding.

I recently saw an amusing article about how safeguarding in the diocese is better than ever. Oh yes? I remain destroyed, I remain branded and my abusers remain protected by the church, Jane Fisher was not publicly suspended and made to do a fake apology like Bob key, so how has safeguarding improved? Jane Fisher is still there after having an abuse victim destroyed, safeguarding has not improved. My complaint against Jane Fisher has not been dealt with, safeguarding has not improved, you have re-destroyed me and left me in a very very hopeless half-life and tried to refer me without my consent to another abusive organization, safeguarding has not improved.

You have ensured that anyone who wishes to rape, assault or abuse me can, and I am without defence as the police would look up my records as soon as I reported abuse, and see that you have had me branded, and would batter me and lock me up again, all while I can only afford to either live on the streets or in slums where abuse can and does occur and I have been assaulted and threatened.

I have to live in the same conditions as rapists and murderers because of what you have inflicted on me, worse, because they are usually not ashamed as I am, and can access medical help or housing benefit without the risk of being traced by their destroyers in the way I feel I am at risk of you continuing to trace and harm me.

So, being unable to see a doctor, I cannot get help with my physical health and have to do what I can to splint the problems myself. 

I also cannot seek work as my health is damaged both physically and emotionally and I have no ability or faith in myself to achieve anything, and live in poverty, only barely off the streets and suffering trauma as a result of what has been done to me by the diocese of Winchester. The record that you gave me means I am excluded from most work, and will never have a career or earn anything more than the minimum wage if anyone would employ me, and with my health and circumstances, it is unlikely that I would ever get work.

Thus my life is basic, I try to make money for food last, I try to stay living indoors and look after myself, but the horror and shame of what Jane Fisher, and you, have inflicted on me, is often overwhelming, but is still not mental illness as Jane Fisher so wants it to be, because it is a reality.

When I was young, I was abused in my family, and I saw members of my family abuse, I saw them steal, do drugs, deal drugs, vandalize, have illegal cars, but they never got a record, they were never left shamed and ruined and in poverty and branded, publicly villified in the press. By so-called Christians, because they didn’t bother with church, I did, and I got a record for it, while those who deliberately did wrong got away with it and have better quality of life than me.

It was the Bishop and Diocese of Winchester who did this to me, and have continued to do this to me, while calling themselves Christians, while covering up for the sake of the church’s reputation, while threatening and branding me, because they allowed abusers to access me through their churches, allowed me to be belittled, abused, walked on, blamed, branded for reactions that would not have been if I had been properly safeguarded and protected and heard, rather than the wrongdoers being safeguarded, protected and heard.

You call yourself a Christian, Bishop Dakin, and you claim to have done this in the name of safeguarding, no Christian could stand before God and claim that the lies and half-truths and cover-ups were done because Christ taught or condoned such behaviour!

I am living death, and no human being could be suffering worse than this, it is on a par with starvation and other sufferings, I am trapped beyond any hope of normal life, and I am begging God for my death, at which event you and the police who have enabled you to harm me and refused to protect me, will again brand, label and slander me in the press rather than being responsible.

I know Jesus went through this too, but that does not make it any easier.

Please: restore my liberty, human rights and right to live and earn a living in my own country.

Please, stop having reports published that omit and harm me.

Please stop violating my basic human rights.

Please stop making illegal referrals of me.

Please stop coming after me and slandering me to communitys, launching on me with the police and press, stating untruths and inaccuracies in the press and threatening me for begging you to get off me.

I ask in Jesus Name that you restore what you have taken from me, my home, my career, my health, my transport, my wage, my volunteer career, the friendships you ripped from me by slandering me to the Winchester Deanery, churches and community, my clean record, my freedom, my access to medical and financial help, my car, all of my posessions and qualifications. AND MOST OF ALL, JUSTICE. WHICH INCLUDES JANE FISHER BEING CALLED TO ACCOUNT AND NOT LYING HER WAY OUT OF HER WRONGDOING.

When you can do those things and I can have a safe and full life again, then you can consider yourselves to be helping me and can consider yourselves on the way to better safeguarding.

If things remain as they are, you are driving me agonizingly painfully and in utter horror and distress, towards full death, and I can tell you this long slow crawl through half-death, outside of society is agony beyond your imagining.

This was my complaint against the Diocese, it has not been answered as yet, I wrote it as I prepared to leave the enquiry as I was not being communicated with and nothing was explained and Steel is conflicted

Formal complaint about the handling of the Winchester Diocese/Jersey Deanery Investigation:

• During March this year I was contacted by the police on behalf of the Diocese of Winchester, this should not have happened, considering the way the Diocese have had me detained and brutalized by the police, they should not have had me traced, if you have someone brutalized for contacting you, even if it was only responding to you and legitimately trying to get a complaint dealt with, then you should not trace that person and provoke them.
• The shock was great but the Diocese were not forthcoming even with an apology for the shock. They were vague even as to why they had traced me.
• It was some time later that I saw that the Dean had been suspended and the ‘apologies’ in the paper.
• The Diocese have continued to be vague and unhelpful, I do not understand why they traced me just to be unhelpful. I was kind of wanting to be grateful about the apologies but also knowing that they were shallow and just words.
• My deep and serious concern was that they were going to continue meddling in my life behind my back as they did in Jersey and Winchester, and the horror would simply re-start, the cycle of interventions, hurts to me, response to me and police attacks for my response.
• And the response I got from them made me sure this was what was going to happen, the Bishop randomly threatened me with court orders and refused to elaborate on what court order he was threatening me with and why! Seeing as he had traced me, why was he now threatening me? He should have left me alone! That remains the case.
• I heard, through the Jersey bloggers that the problem was that five years too late, the Diocese had decided to look at my complaint and suspend the Dean.
• Thankfully, Bob Hill and the Jersey bloggers got involved, and from them I learned that this was about a report called the Korris report.
• Now the Bishop had more people watching him and watching me, he didn’t seem to interested in bullying me and making threats. 
• The Korris report though, was so awful and inaccurate that it nearly drove me to suicide, so did Bob’s questioning of me about my side of things, so here I was, dragged into a nightmare.
• The Bishop went silent after I replied to his threats telling him that if he was to have me arrested then the press were to be alerted and told that he had arrested the person he was claiming to apologize to. I asked him to confirm that his diocese would not intervene and he and the Diocese tried to make me out to be asking for withdrawal of contact, not withdrawal of intervention.
•  There never was any apology or clarity from the Diocese, they appeared to have traced me because they had been put under pressure to, not because they had anything to say or any support to offer.
• The Diocese asked nothing about my circumstances, showed no sign of caring, fluffed some words about being sorry, not an apology, and told me that the Dean would not be reinstated without an enquiry.
• Shortly after that the Dean was reinstated without an enquiry
• The same day, the Bishop answered my question about intervention from the Diocese, he sent a subject box saying ‘no unsolicited intervention -confirmed’ he knew I would not open an email from him after his threat.
•  There was no message from the Bishop as to why he had waited until the day he reinstated the Dean to say that, there was no warning to me that he was reinstating the Dean and no passing on of the Dean’s very empty and meaningless apology that was never sent to me.
• The hate campaign against me from the Deanery of Jersey did not stop when the Dean was reinstated and the Bishop did nothing about it.
• The hate campaign included a one-sided meeting where the Deanery attacked the Diocese and used me as a scapegoat.
• Basically, within months of being traced I was vilified, threatened, had received no genuine apologies, had seen the Archbishop and Bishop bow to the Jersey authorities and seen the Dean reinstated as a result.
•  Due to the threats, the lack of any form of acceptable apology, the Bishop telling me that the Dean would not be reinstated and then reinstating him without warning or investigation, my feelings towards the Diocese were not good, they had handled this badly.
• Bob Hill had also been messed about, now acting as my mediator he had been untruthfully or incorrectly told by the Diocese that the Bishop was not reinstating the Dean that day. It showed that the Diocese had not changed under the new Bishop.
• So, so far, shocking tracing through the police, no real explanation, apology or sympathy from the Diocese, threats, inconsistency about reinstatement of the Dean, all of this not good for me, and the hate campaign in Jersey wounding me, as it still is.
• The Korris report was written without my views, and my email addresses were known to the Diocese, so instead of tracing me to have my views added, which they or Jan korris had done, they had the report done and then traced me through the police. Maybe the reasoning was that I had blocked Jane Fisher and it was claimed I blocked the Diocese when I only blocked Jane. 
• The police tracing me under my new identity for the Diocese has left me shocked and frightened and I am still waiting to hear exactly how DC Jonathan Swift has damaged my personal life by tracing me, ie, how he traced me. 
• The Diocese have damaged me from the outset of this by tracing me through the police.
• The Bishop launched an investigation/visitaion into the findings of the Korris report, but made no attempt to let me know about this or explain it, nor did he let Bob know on my behalf.
• The Bishop claimed in the press to have apologized to me personally, which was very distressing as he had not personally apologized and has not personally apologized, and this has been very annoying.
• The first half of the visitation was to be led by John Gladwin, but the Terms of Reference have been and are very vague, I don’t understand them.
• The second part of the investigation is led by Dame Heather Steele and is conflicted by her being a close colleague of some of the judicial and political figures that have either been involved negatively or who are involved negatively in the campaign against me in support of the Dean.
• The Bishop has refused to acknowledge this conflict or withdraw Dame Steele from the enquiry. He also, until the last minute, very recently, refused to release her terms of reference, and now released, they are very vague.
• I refuse to be involved in that side of the enquiry, so the result will not be balanced, although the conflict would mean it would be hard to balance it anyway.
•  Dame Steele made a callous and incongruent attempt to access my records through my former advocate who didn’t represent me at all well in October 2010. She had no right to do so, and her vague terms of reference do not state anything about her investigating my records. This was a violation and another insult on top of all the others.
• I started a blog about this whole disaster but have withdrawn it as it doesn’t help.
• I have been treated all along as if I am an object, my feelings, thoughts and input are not being taken into account, the Bishop has been unhelpful, untruthful, and not in any way sympathetic or helpful, he has refused to respond to Bob Hill or communicate via Bob Hill even though Bob is my mediator.
• Five months have now gone by since the police traced me, and I am still unclear as to why I have been traced, I have received no personal apologies, I have been threatened, I have had a hate campaign directed at me, I have had no clarity from the Diocese as to what they expect from me, I have had no kindness, no helpfullness, no clarity from them,I have been put under exceptional stress because of this matter and have had my life and therapy disrupted. 
• And because this response to my complaint is five years too late and slapdash and lacking in any clarity, I do not know why they bothered, it is in the past, and even now, judging by the mess and the nastiness, it isn’t even going to be resolved, and there is very little that can recompense me for the hate campaign and Korris report and how I have been damaged through those. And it will not undo the damage done, five years later and the other side of police brutality and a criminal record.
• Tim Dakin claims to be persuing the Jersey matter because Vulnerable people need to be treated properly, but he has treated me like dirt and not even taken my condition, both homeless-wise nor autism-wise into account, and thus I wonder if Bob is right, that this is not about me but about issues between the Diocese of Winchester and the Deanery of Jersey, in which case, his dragging me into this is even worse, because I am just a pawn. 
• If the Bishop cares about vulnerable people, why has he handled me so badly? Is it because Jane Fisher is advising him? I am most annoyed and keep having new shocks launched on me and it is doing uncontrolled damage
• So in three weeks time I am leaving the investigation/visitation, and if anyone wants further information, statements or interviews, they need to arrange them quickly.
• This is my complaint into being traced and the investigation and ‘apologies’, I want it reviewed and replied to, but not in five years time!