W-h-o’s W-h-o in Jersey and Winchester 2 Bishops Dakin and Willmott

Bishop Tim Dakin: 

The man who has a lawyer as a chaplain, just in case, and so that abuse victims that the Bishop harasses can be dispatched without problem and the Bishop faces no consequnces.
Yes, Gavin Foster is a trained barrister. So basically anyone vulnerable harmed by the Bishop and Diocese have no redress.

Bishop Tim Dakin was announced by Downing Street on a stormy morning a few years ago, and by shocking coincidence, I was sheltering in the conservatory of people who knew him. I was not a happy person to hear about the Diocese at the time, seeing as I was homeless thanks to them.

In March last year, the Bishop had me illegally traced by the same police who destroyed me, and left me shocked and in collapse, this is typical of the Diocese of Winchester, they have no knowledge or understanding of the harm they do. At least I hope it is naivety that has allowed their continued damage and not simply stone cold cruelty.

Anyway, after having me illegally traced through the same police who harmed me terribly and refused my complaint against them, the diocese of Winchester had nothing to say to me, after taking away my new identity that had allowed me some escape from the terrible inaccurate and one-sided records they had given me, the diocese and police had nothing to say.

I discovered the Dean’s suspension by chance as I was getting a lot of emails from Jersey and other places. I did not want to read emails and be dragged back into the past.
I was contacted by MACSAS, the useless abuse charity who had let me down and violated me alongside the Diocese, and they claimed that ‘the Bishop wanted to help me and put things right’ which was untrue, and I asked MACSAS if they knew what brown-nosing meant.

MACSAS never at any point had my permission to be involved with the diocese or as they were in London with my family and the local authorities, ensuring that the diocese could access me to defame me further in the Korris report.
Funny how so far, no one has respected my human rights and the legal side of privacy even though I am competent.

Anyway, I found out about the Korris rubbish (report) and it nearly killed me because it was a graphic and harmful misrepresentation of the Jersey situation, published online and circulated so that complete strangers were villifying me, meanwhile, in Jersey, a full scale campaign kicked off with me being villified, publicly wrongly accused in the press and media and the Dean being upheld by his political colleagues in the the States of Jersey where he sits.
This utterly crushed me.

After a few weeks, the Bishop still had nothing to say, and his ‘barrister-in-charge’ waffled aimlessly and claimed I wasn’t being harmed by the smear campaign.
I could hear Jane Fisher in his words, she is the one who states untruths as facts.

The matter raged on, and for months, out on the streets, I lay curled up in misery, with every slur against me raging through my head and no defence, I tried and tried to write my story but Jersey was blanked through trauma, and Bob Hill, now acting as my mediator, only brought bad news every day until I was too traumatized to speak to him, he also did not get my side of things but relied on Korris, which hurt me all the more.

http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/

I phoned Wolvsley to beg them not to keep this up, to refrain from the repeat violations of my life that occured in Winchester.
The Bishop of Winchester then decided he would speak, threatening me with court orders that I knew nothing about.
Showing clearly that justice and righting wrongs could not possibly be the aim of the matter.
You don’t launch such an investigation while stating that unjust and one-sided action that the victim does not understand is acceptable.
I told him so, but realised that Jane Fisher would be the one telling him what to say.

The horrendous charade proceeded, with a conflicted judge ‘volunteering’ to step in, Dame Heather Steel, and thus the Deanery rejoiced, my side was never to be taken, recorded or known, basically I was defamed and destroyed for 14 months for no reason, and the Bishop has never been able to communicate with or through my mediator effectively or take any notice of the harm he has been doing, or include me in the investigation.
Bob’s blog has in-depth coverage of the mess that Bishop Dakin has made and the damage it has done.
I have repeatedly asked a number of people connected to the matter, and the police, to bring an end to it and to prevent further harm, defamation and damage to me. As yet, I have been ignored, treated as mad by the police as I was in Winchester.
Obviously they consider ‘mad’ people, deserving of harassment and abuse.

Bishop Trevor Willmott:

A conflicted Bishop, the former Bishop of Basingstoke. Now Bishop of Dover.

A close friend of JM who was deeply involved in this matter, his feelings for her and belief of her side of things would mean that he could not be neutral. 
JM used to say he fancied her and recounted him hurrying after her to say goodnight in the car park after a meeting.

His other conflict was that he was more than willing to join in cult games in the Jersey churches, saying what he was told to, for example ‘I sense that there are people here tonight who are feeling fear, would they like to come up and be prayed for?’ etc.
Manipulation which was prevelant in the unhealthy side of Jersey churches, American-influenced cult-church stuff, that is and was damaging.


When the Channel Islands split from the Diocese of Winchester, Bishop Trevor took over overseeing the Channel Islands, no doubt with lots of sympathy for them and none for me.
And so the charade continued.

Polo describes Bishop Trevor as Bob Key’s new Mammy.

Interestingly enough, off topic, some people in Jersey do say that the Dean is a female, ie, the wife is the Dean, and things the Dean said in church certainly backs that up.
Thats a bit sharp, but while I thought of it, I wrote it.

Involving Innocent people?

The Korris report claims I was ‘involving innocent people’, the reality is, the Korris report was written under Jane Fisher’s direction, and turns the fact that I was turning to anyone I could think of as witnesses to try to stop the damage to me by Jane Fisher.
I have asked a number of people, mainly those who I was maligned to in Winchester in 2010/2011, to witness some of my side of things.
No doubt that will bring the same response from Fisher in five years of so when another one-sided investigation is launched in the press to glorify the Church of England to anyone who doesn’t know them well enough to see through them.

The Diocese would rather I was seen as involving innocent people than the real reason, that I want my side heard, and I want witnesses, and their one-sided defamation of me has gone on long enough.
And they would rather I was imprisoned than got my voice heard and thus let people know the wrong they have done.

They involved innocent people when they launched their public attack on me and the Jersey Deanery, they have wrecked my life when the matter was in the past, and they have caused a lot of damage and money wasteage,

But is anyone going to do reports into them and publicly defame them?
It is left up to me to speak out, at risk of further unjust punishments, while the Diocese will never face punishment for what they have done.

W-h-o’-s W-h-o In the Winchester and Jersey Disaster 1 The Scott-Joynts

Bishop Scott-Joynt: A bad tempered and irresponsible man who always managed a public mask of being ‘kind’. Not a kind man, he refused to deal with my complaint and frequently tried to force on me that Jane Fisher’s bullying, violation of my privacy and rights, condemnation of me and denial of what was happening in Jersey was ‘Jane Fisher only being kind and helping me’.
Bishop Scott-Joynt repeatedly had police action against me for trying to get him to deal with my complaint, he retired and left me homeless, destitute and very much still suffering the injustice.
I continued to ask him to deal with the matter and tell him that a servant of God does not retire, and does not retire leaving someone suffering, he continued to have me brutalized and detained by police. Showing that he wasn’t and never was, a servant of God.

Lou Scott-Joynt:
Lou Scott-Joynt was brought into this matter to ‘listen to me’ by Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt, and was given their inaccurate side of things, thus doing more harm than good, in fact her involvement was catastrophic.
Interestingly enough though, even though she was a key witness, she was noticably omitted for police actions as a witness although she should have been a witness, I have no doubt she was omitted because she wouldn’t have been able to be dishonest.

Among some of the damages done by her involvement was her repeating the defamation by the Dean-Lihou-Warren collaberation that was used to defame me as a troublemaker and let the Dean and the Churchwarden off and brand me as a troublemaker, Lou Scott-Joynt didn’t know my side but repeated the defamation passed on by Jane Fisher and her husband, who also never got my side of things or tried to,  Lou Scott-Joynt also said ‘Oh, what did Bob do wrong?’ implying that again her husband and Jane Fisher had let the Dean off, this led to me going to the Dean’s house to ask why the Dean was so dishonest about his actions – this was used in court and claimed I went round there shouting and swearing, which I didn’t, just as I never went to Wolvsley shouting and swearing, my actions in both cases were purely because I was being hurt and dishonesty about it were driving me mad with distress.

Lou Scott-Joynt continued to be a nuisance on my return to Winchester from Jersey, contacting my friends, and when I went to the police they did nothing, she also asked for the surnames of friends who remained with me, in order presumably, to intervene, but failed to.
She and her husband and Jane Fisher slandered and libelled me round winchester, claiming I phoned Lou, swearing, when I never did, and they omitted the abuse, the cover ups, and my autism from their defamation of me.
Funny how they get to have me beaten and detained for harrassment because I spoke up in reply, the basic aim of the beatings and detention in Winchester was to make me not credible and get me put away to prove it and thus cover up for making me homeless and destroying me.
The police repeatedly refused my complaints, hence me continuing to deal with Wolvlsey and the Diocese myself.

These posts are going to be painful and hard to write

14 months of being publicly whipped

Because of the Bishop of Winchester’s foolhardy and harmful actions, which the Archbishop incomprehensibly condones, I have suffered 14 months of having my soul destroyed and having hatred directed at me by complete strangers.
The Archbishop praises the Bishop for this, apparently thus stating that publicly destroying an abuse survivor and subjecting her to public humiliation, hatred and smears, from people who have never met her is ok.

And, considering that the Diocese consider me to be ‘mentally ill’ don’t you think it is horrifying that they would allow this? And that the Archbishop would condone this public whipping of someone supposedly ill.

I am ill now, with the stress of 14 months of public destroyal.

I have asked the Archbishop, the Diocese, Safeguarding, the NAS, clergy abuse charities, anyone I could think of, to bring this to an end, but I have been ignored.

It is interesting that the police were prepared to brutalize me and choke me and fling me in a cell in 2011 for my distressed reaction to the diocese violating me, but here in 2014, as I continue as I did then to beg to be left alone, the police refuse to protect me, so my distressed reaction continues, leading to me being further brutalized and detained?

When is someone going to step in and end this?

email letter to Archbishop 11/05/2011 – 3 years ago

11/05/2011

Your Lord Grace Archbishop of Canterbury,

I want an answer as to why I am a homeless criminal after your churches failed to protect and then damaged me,

 

why clergy you employ who have done much worse than autistic anger are out there unreprimanded while I am destroyed and everything I struggled to achieve is gone.

 

I have no quality of life and have had to flee Winchester because of the way I was being treated on behalf of the diocese, and because I was terrified every time I saw a police car.

 

why are your clergy not beaten up and thrown in cells for 24 hours and called mad and bad for being unable to cope with a very unfair situation? Is it because you do indeed condone cover ups?  I see from his press article that the Bishop who has overseen my destroyal is on very friendly terms with you. 

But I am asking you to listen to my story because it does not make sense that I am on the streets destroyed while my abusers remain in positions of authority and backed by church leaders such as the Dean of Jersey who said I was not abused, that I was a troublemaker and wicked.

 The Bishop refused to deal with that, and supported the Dean in having me convicted for my anger and distress at his continued involvement. Autistic, regressed and abused, left regressed and severely psychologically damaged, having to deal with the dean who was the abusers friend and tried to close the complaint, having to deal with nothing being done and the abuser going round that small island saying he was cleared and thus having me shunned.

 Having to deal with the damage being done by the two faced dean and the treatment I suffered as a result, and Jane Fisher’s cold denial that any of that was happeneing -her denial and attacks on my character was the second most damaging thing after the Dean’s treatment of me.

 And as a result I collapsed and when Jane continued to intervene I became hysterically distressed, especially as she utterly rubbished me by re-involving the Dean, in her continuing nastiness she told me that she had got her side over to the Bishop  – ie told him that nothing had been wrong with the way the Dean and priests had treated me on behalf of the abuser, and she told me that what I said was irrelevant.

 I told her I would let the Bishop see that text, one of her nasty texts, and again she said she would tell him it was about me refusing to meet with her over the abusers, which it was not and she said that me refusing to meet made everything I said irrelevant.

She allowed (JM) to involve herself and work with the Dean to make me out to be a serial troublemaker who has a pattern of making abuse accusations, but they couldn’t explain about all my friends, most of whom the diocese have taken from me by contacting them, those friends didn’t abuse me and so were not accused of abuse.

 

Your Lord Grace Archbishop,

I want the intervention by Jane Fisher in my life to stop, likewise the Scott-Joynt’s damage of me,

I want something done about what has happened,

and it is my last wish,

I will never be able to rebuild my life,

I did not deliberately build my life on sand foundations,

it was that way since I was born,

I loved God from when I was four years old until recently as the endless destroyal by Wolvsley and Fisher went on,

with them trying so hard to make me out to be mentally ill in order to cover the whole matter.

 

The whole matter has meant that my physical health is deteriorating.

I came into the real world aged 17 and having loved God since I was 4,

I thought that the church was the only safe place where drinking, drugs, smoking and dishonesty and badness would not be,

and the church destroyed me,

utterly.

If I had stayed in the ghetto and joined in with the games there where people have children by each others partners and do unspeakable things and live on benefits and dirty money, then the Bishop and his Dean and Safeguarding officer would not have condemned me as wicked and a criminal.

But instead I went to church and was abused.

 

Now I have a life sentence, or rather a death sentence,

of condemnation and being called insane, despite that being disproved by the mental health services.

I will never come to terms with this,

with being called wicked,

with taking all the blame and being the victim of the diocesan cover up.

 

If you really are unwilling to listen and deal with this matter,

pray for my death.

There is no medicine and no counsellor that can ever take away what this has done to me.

I am destroyed,

and my only prayer to the God who allowed the church to destroy me,

is for my death, soon, before my physical health gets worse,

before I am battered about by Jane Fisher’s police again.

 

There is no threat of suicide in this email.

waiting for death is something all people do eventually,

unless they are killed.

Safeguarding investigation?

How can it be a Safeguarding investigation when:

• The Bishop causes maximum distress and damage by forcibly and illegally  tracing the autistic survivor through the police and leaving her feeling violated.
• An inaccurate report that omits the survivors views is published internationally, causing the survivor maximum distress and requests by the survivor to have that defamatory and incorrect report removed are ignored.
• The Survivor is subject to a public and media hate campaign by supporters of the wrongdoers, the Bishop does nothing, preferring to hide behind a PR company who make him look all the more silly and do nothing to help the conflict, in the meantime his safeguarding officer who in the past caused severe psychological injury to the survivor, is allowed to continue to illegally liase with the police about her. The survivor is left desparate and distressed, as in previous years, allowing the church to back up their ‘insane’ label of her that they have worked hard with police and mental health services to try and get her.
• The Bishop threatens the victim when she pleads for the violations of her life to stop and not re-start.
• The Bishop launches a conflicted investigation headed by a ‘volunteer’ who came forward because she is close to political and judiciary supporters of the wrongdoers.
• The Bishop re-instates the person suspended as a result of the report and says he ‘acted in good faith’ basically saying the investigation is over. He does not pass on the aimless and directionless forced ‘apology’ from the same person. He instead sends a message reading ‘no unsolicited intervention-confirmed’ to the victim.
• And a few months later, the Bishop’s safeguarding office, who has a formal complaint against her for repeated violations of the survivor’s rights and privacy, intervenes unsolicited by illegally and without consent, referring the survivor to the NSPCC, to a colleague of hers. Bearing in mind that the survivor is now 33 and despises the NSPCC, this is absolutely appalling. 
• The Bishop tries to personally force this referral on the survivor, ignoring the fact that he has been asked to only contact the survivor’s mediator, due to the damage inflicted by the Bishop so far.
• The survivor writes a legal letter to the Bishop, asking him to refrain.
• The Bishop releases a statement about having had legal representation to stop the conflicted report, and refers to the victim as ‘lost last and least’ and he prays she will accept the ‘support that his staff have been working hard across the diocese to provide’ ie his bullying safeguarding officer who has a formal compaint against her by the survivor has made an illegal referral to the NSPCC.
• The Survivor responds by a press release saying she is not interested in forced support from the Diocese who have destroyed her. The Diocese even at this stage are more interested in image and cover up than the victims’s circumstances and feelings and refused at any point to acknowledge the survivor’s own pastoral care and therapy situation, which their dreadful behaviour was disrupting.
• Deathly silence reigns, with the Bishop no longer threatening the victim.
• The Deanery and Diocese in the catastrophic investigation part company and the Deanery comes under the jurisdiction of  a Bishop who was seen to join in the abusive and damaging games in the churches in the deanery in years previous, and also the Archbishop.
• The Archbishop causes distress to the survivor by doing an aimless interview in which he seems to have no understanding of the circumstances and praises and condones both the wrongdoer and the Bishop who has done so much damage.
• The Survivor responds, and is ignored, as usual, disregarded by the Church as mad and bad, much as Jesus was by the Pharisees.
• The survivor is by now, 14 months after this sick and twisted charade started, quite unwell and waiting every day to be further damaged.

I wonder how they would like it?

I wonder how the Bishop, Archbishop or any of their staff would like it if someone or an organization burst into their lives, defaming and threatening them, and then without their consent tried to refer them for ‘help’?

They wouldn’t like or agree with it, but they are powerful people in a powerful Godless organization, and they would deal with it legally, whereas I am a destroyed vulnerable person who has been defenceless against this rape-like forcing and violation of my human rights.

Trying to explain to wealthy and powerful old men in the church of england the damage they are doing is really hard, because they have no idea and basically don’t care, what things are like from the point of view of a poor and vulnerable person such as myself or Jesus.

Statement about the Archbishop’s interview

I am writing in response to the Archbishop’s statement on BBC Jersey.

I have to say, and it is the opinion of others too. That the Archbishop didn’t seem to have a point to his interview, and thus I wonder why he agreed to an interview.

The closest that myself and others could come to a point in his interview was that he appeared to be trying to say everyone in the matter is just fine.

How very confusing. I would disagree with him.

He praises and upholds Bishop Dakin, who launched the public attack on the Jersey Deanery with the Korris report, an inaccurate and inadequate report into the matters that occurred around the churchwarden abusing me, and he thus caused the reaction of anger and rebellion in the Jersey Deanery, which was completely avoidable and at the same time caused me severe harm on top of the damage already done.

If I was Archbishop Welby, I wouldn’t be saying that Tim Dakin was great and did well.

Because all that Bishop Dakin has achieved is injury, division and needless harm, thus I have to disagree with Archbishop Welby, who appears to only be taking part in an interview to placate all, and wandering from the reality of the matter, of which he seems to have minimal understanding.

The Archbishop states his faith in the Dean of Jersey, but equally claims to stand by his apology to me.

My mind boggles as I try to comprehend this.

So, he he believes in the Dean? And he still apologizes to me for the handling of my complaint?

I can’t really comprehend this. I wonder if anyone else can unravel what he means by this?

Bearing in mind that he was speaking on BBC Jersey and obviously doesn’t want to rock the boat again, and also that he hasn’t actually personally apologized to me or even read my correspondence, he simply issued a vague apology in the press at the same time as that inaccurate Korris report, that damaged me horribly, was issued; Neither the Bishop nor the Archbishop have at any point arranged to meet me and apologize in person or get my side of the Story. And thus, all reports since are unbalanced.

Despite correspondence sent to him, the Archbishop seems completely unaware of my story and of the fact that I have been and am suffering very badly as a result of this ongoing matter, which is affecting my life and health profoundly and leaving me in constant fear of further damage.

The Archbishop claims that he ‘has to make sure I am receiving pastoral care’ Is he really not aware after all the harm done to me by this badly handled issue and the record that I have as a result of the Church of England, that ‘pastoral care’ from the Church of England is not welcome, and that I only feel violated by the interventions by the Church of England, which so far in the past year has only been offered in the form of an illegal referral to the NSPCC by Diocesan Safeguarding officer Jane Fisher, who has severely damaged me and who did not have my permission to refer me to anywhere, especially not as I had a formal complaint against her at the time, which continues to be blankly ignored by the Church of England.

My pastoral care is in my own hands, and the repeated forced interventions by the Church of England are a violation akin to rape, and my response to these forced violations is the anger for which they have previously had me detained and brutalized by the police.

The referral to the NSPCC was ridiculous, firstly due to the fact that I am no longer a child and do not have care of a child, as well as the fact that the referral was made without my consent and the Diocese knew my feelings about Jane Fisher from my re-iterated complaint against her last year, and the fact was that not only was the referral done without my consent, it was attempted by the Bishop to force this ‘help’ on me, and this caused massive distress, this was at the point where I wrote my legal letter to the Bishop -which can easily be found on my blog.

Those who don’t know, the Bishop made veiled threat of further action against me when I cried to him in distress and horror when he had me forcibly traced and violated by police in March 2013, when the very reason I responded was because HE HAD HAD ME TRACED, WRONGLY AND SHOCKINGLY THROUGH THE POLICE, only to ignore my questions why and my distress, and I was afraid of a repeat of the continued violations of my private life and illegal interventions and referrals and violations by Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt in Jersey and Winchester in 2008-2011 that led to them repeatedly having me brutalized by police and locked up for my response. Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt treated my rights and privacy as a joke and prevented me from ever getting help or being able to trust, they destroyed my friendships, social life, career, community work, hope and future, and that remains the case.

The attempts by the Church to force help on me alongside making a massive public disaster about the historic abuse complaint and then attempting to put it all right in an even more damaging way, is not remotely Christian, and Tim Dakin’s dreadful ‘lost last and least statement’ where he claimed that his staff had ‘been working hard’ to get me help, when the reality was that they had tried to force me to be in contact with a colleague of Jane Fisher’s from the NSPCC is dire and very unchristian.

So I am not sure why the Archbishop is praising Bishop Dakin, especially as he has damaged lives, especially mine, for no reason, wasted hundreds of thousands of pounds, and continues to leave me in fear that my newly rebuilt life will be destroyed again by this matter.

The reality is that this matter has been handled terribly on all sides and maximum harm has been done to me as a result, whereas in my life, I had made my confession to God for my sins of anger and distress as my Post-Traumatic-Stress went out of control in Jersey and was made increasingly worse by Jane Fisher’s actions, I had left this matter in the past, and the way it has been publicly dragged up and I have been publicly flogged for it is horrific, the Church of England demonstrating that in 2000 years they have not changed from the crowd that called for Jesus’ public flogging and crucifiction as they are doing the same to me.

I gather that either the Archbishop was ill-prepared for his interview on BBC Jersey and had little understanding of the matter, or he was badly briefed. He certainly demonstrated that despite me writing to him, he has not read my letter and has no understanding of my circumstances. But it is absolutely baffling how he can be on BBC Jersey praising people who have made such a mess, the gulf between the reality of the situation and the Archbishop’s words are horrendous as I live each day expecting the CofE’s unbalanced reports and damage limitation press releases to harm me further.

HG

Personal message to the Archbishop of Canterbury:

What I would ask of the Archbishop, if he cares in the slightest and is not just speaking empty words from a brief put together by others, is:

Firstly, please read my side of things, and do not violate my life and privacy further by dragging this matter up in the media, you make me ill when you do this, please do not publicly praise people who have done wrong, it makes me ill, please do not insinuate that my pastoral care is remotely to do with your Church who have destroyed me and left me destroyed, especially as you and your church ignore my correspondence and have not dealt with Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing and continued violation of my rights and privacy by her continued illegal interventions which started in Jersey and continued even until last year.

Please stop this childish charade and close the matter down with no further harm to my life and reputation, you are making my life and relationships very hard and disrupting my therapy, you have done throughout this matter and appear to have complete disregard for my life and feelings as a human being.

And please remember, you have not yet produced a report or carried out an investigation which represents my full story accurately, and yet you have allowed investigations which interview supporters of the Dean who have never met me.

Please do not underestimate the toll that this is taking on my physical health, if this matter kills me, you will not be able to credibly talk about pastoral care and my welfare, nor will your ‘apology’ be of any worth, be aware that I have asthma and high blood pressure and heart problems that have been frequently triggered by this terrible matter and it does put me at risk from death.

If you consider yourself a Christian, then be aware that what you and your Church are doing in being less than honest about what is and has gone on and if you continue to harm me with forced ‘help’ or media releases, you cannot continue to call yourselves Christians any longer. Remember Jesus’ reaction to the people about to stone a woman for adultery? The way I have been publicly flogged and branded by the Church of England is as bad as that attempted stoning, and Jesus sin’t standing there condoning what you are doing to me, so when is this matter to be concluded and the public flogging of me to stop? Do you or any of you think you will stand before God after this dreadful mess and the cover-ups and ‘smoothing down’ of this dreadful mess?

What is so terrible about me, for sins past and repented that is worse than what my abusers and their supporters have done, that they are not publicly flogged and I am?

HG

That Christmas 2009

It was heading towards Christmas 2009.
I was suffering and traumatized by the police and the way I was treated in Jersey as a result of the way I had  reported the churchwarden and also Jane Fisher’s nasty and senseless communications which left me in more despair than anything else.

I had made up my mind to commit suicide at Christmas and leave a letter explaining to the haters how badly being regressed to young childhood and abused and then vilified for reporting the abuse had affected me (as if they would care!).

I was very unhappy, the world was dark with no light and no-one to turn to.

But I remember being able to do something that brought light to my world as well as to others, and it is something that I just really wanted to do.

I asked my friend who went into the nursing home several times a week, presumably to teach something?
If she would get me the names of all the residents and if they preferred to be known by first names or more formally – as some older people do.
When she got me the list of names, I did a Christmas card for all 64 or so residents, because I knew that some of them wouldn’t get any other cards.
I am very shy of people, afraid of people, but I know that each human being is valuable and matters, no matter what their age or state of health.

But the response to my cards surprised me, not only the residents greeting me by name and smiling and waving when I walked past, but also their families and visitors, and I received a number of cards in reply, everyone was so nice! And from that, I ended up in regular conversation with a number of people, and this led to my confidence and conversation building remarkably.

That Christmas, within the weeks up to Christmas, as I searched the internet looking at the most effective methods of suicide, I came across Maytree Sanctuary for the suicidal, and applied to go there, within the week before Christmas, I completed my self-referral to Maytree and went there for Christmas.

My journey to Maytree was disasterous, this is when the heavy snow was falling, and it looked like the plane wouldn’t even leave Jersey, but it did, and when we landed at Gatwick, our plane had a good old scary skid along the runway!
Arriving at Gatwick in the heavy snow, trying to get the coach looked impossible as snow was affecting the coaches and there were no announcements and no-one could adequately explain what was going on, but thankfully I eventually got a coach, my phone was on a Jersey sim and hardly worked in the UK so I could not let Maytree know what was going on as it took hours and hours to get to London and to Maytree, I ended up in tears in a phone box trying to explain to Maytree and then eventually got to them, very upset.

I think I was tired and it was late when I got there and they made sure I had a hot drink and food before bed.

The stay there was generally pleasant, and I had my own room with ensuite, and no-one was supposed to come into my room unless they were concerned for my safety but one volunteer barged in anyway.

One of the ways Maytree helps people is through talking, and we talked a lot, there were a number of volunteers at Maytree and so I met a lot of people, but the one I found easiest to talk to was retired tube driver called R.

I came downstairs and the kitchen smelled of frying breakfast and Richard was there with the garden doors open, frying breakfast, he was great to talk to and we talked a lot, he told me about his late wife who was a beautiful Indian lady, he fell in love with her the minute he saw her, but she never wanted flowers, because she was a mechanic, she always wanted new spanners and tools 🙂

Maytree was great, we went looking for a turkey on Christmas eve, but they were sold out so we got a duckling, not a duck but a duckling! 🙂 I feel bad about having eaten one of those little fluffy yellow beeping things. But I have a feeling it was a rather grown up duckling. Them beeping yellow things are too small to have the meat on them that the ‘duckling’ we cooked did.

It was good to have Christmas, if I had stayed in Jersey I would have had no Christmas and I would have been dead.
And, looking at what happened in the following year, maybe death would have been better, although I would have missed out on my awesome experience of sleeping rough if I had died.
(and I still believe this church matter may kill me yet).

So time at Maytree was spend relaxing, talking, enjoying good food and drink and lots of Christmas cake, it was all good.
I went for walks, and was surprised that there in the dirty, dog-messy streets, everyone said ‘good morning’ and ‘Happy Christmas’, I went into a Catholic church one day and lit candles, asked Philip LeClaire what the difference between the red and blue candles was and got no response.
But there was a notice in church that eternally amused me.
It read:

‘Please note, the heating is off due to a leek in the pipes’

I couldn’t help wondering how the leek got there and why they couldn’t fish it out 🙂

Anyway, on Christmas Day, I went to the morning service at a local Church of England/Charismatic church, a pretty young lady from Maytree came with me, it was incredibly funny how, after the service, all the Charismatic men came up to us and started chatting with her and ignoring me, she was not a Christian but had offered to accompany me for support and safety. The men really liked chatting to her, they hardly said hello to me! 🙂
I wrote an amused letter to the church and told them I had enjoyed the service and been amused by the men’s keenness on my companion, they wrote a friendly letter in reply, saying I was always welcome to drop in.
One of the lovely parts of the service was when they let a net of balloons down from the roof, the children ran riot!

Anyway, before I left Maytree, the person in charge met with me and talked with me about my strengths and plans for the future, I found that empowering, but lost the letter when I had to leave Jersey, and Maytree wouldn’t let me have another copy.

The problem with Maytree, excellent as they were, the communication wasn’t good, and before I went, a woman tried to get me to fill in a questionaire that even she didn’t understand, and it included asking me if I was an abuser, apparently, but she didn’t know or wasn’t clear what the questions meant and I was left very upset. She then said that it didn’t matter anyway and I didn’t need to fill it in. That was awful, it was intrusive and distressing and undid some of the good by stressing me.

I left Maytree and sadly, walked into terrible football crowds on the underground and was trapped and panicked.
Thankfully a member of tube staff rescued me and got me back to Central London, and I headed for Hampshire to my friends (who the diocese have since taken from me).

I arrived back in Jersey feeling refreshed and determined to move forward positively, Jane Fisher had temporarily shut up, or so it seemed, as I had written to Scott-Joynt just before Christmas, as I expected to be dead in the new year and wanted him to know that Fisher had been bullying me and making life hell.
The Korris report claims Scott-Joynt wrote to me, he did not, he didn’t have my address, of course at that stage I wasn’t going to tell anyone in the Church where I lived, life was hell enough in the community because I was shunned.

So I resumed life and was surprised by the curate who had been so rude and snappy before Christmas -when her cousin comitted suicide.
She really wanted to be in contact and see me, I was surprised, so I took her a load of firewood logs.

I had no idea that we were at the start of Jane Fisher using her further to harm me.
One of Fisher’s greatest triumphs against me was the way she wrecked a safe and healing relationship and used that curate against me in the most terrible and damaging way and also brought the dean into it, again, as she continued to do, leaving me with no safe and private church relationships and help, it is a deep wound.

So this was 2010 now, the beginning of the end as I continued to be damaged by the church of england.

Could you all contact the Archbishop and appeal for this murderous charade to stop – to save my life.

An email to the Bishop of Winchester and The Archbishop of Canterbury:

Tim Dakin and Bob Key between them have wasted more than half a million and left an abuse survivor ruined.

Archbishop Welby thinks Bishop Dakin is great, and that Bob Key is someone to have faith in.

Archbishop stands by his ‘apology’ to me, even though he never apologized to me and is wrecking my already wrecked life and is doing and has done nothing to help me.

Church of England classic!

You, the Church of England, are killing me in a very slow and horrible way by causing repeated collapses.

You are a dreadful, deceitful and very very evil and unchristian organization, and your press releases are nothing to do with Christ, how can lies and cover-ups that are killing someone slowly and extremely horribly be Christian?

Today I had a collapse as a result of the rubbish spewed by Welby on BBC Jersey,

so why does he stand by an apology that never happened and why is my legacy to be a thousand despairing screams of help to people who’s vain waffle about caring does not match the reality of the harm that is being done to me?

Why does Welby stand by an apology he never gave and at the same time condone the man who did the harm? Makes sense? No, like the rest of this horrific mess and most of the CofE press releases ever.

The CofE needs a new press co-ordinator, they have not made sense throughout this awful murderous, sick and twisted charade.

In all seriousness, I am likely to die if this kind of stress continues to cause nervous collapses, tachycardia and high blood pressure.

I AM DOWN AND UNABLE TO KEEP GETTING UP, AND THIS PACK OF HUMAN HYENAS WHO CALL THEMSELVES CHRISTIANS WILL NOT STOP INFLICTING HARM ON ME WHILE I AM DOWN.

Just to add, it is very interesting to hear that it was the Bishop’s staff who pushed for the channel islands to be moved to Canterbury, for Bishop’s staff, read ‘Jane Fisher’.

HG