Jersey revisited -Korris omissions and inaccuracies, continued

I guess now that I have busted the miffs about what happened before I came to Jersey.
I had better start on Jersey stuff.
This is tricky, because trauma still wipes out my memory of Jersey, and there are so many documents and emails that it is difficult to know where to start.
I guess I had better start with a statement I just found while looking through files.
It appears to be a reaction to the Korris report, answering some of the inaccuracies:

EY and the church:
Sometimes people came into the room when Ey was hugging me alone but nothing was done, he was not discouraged.
One time I was a bit embarrassed because EY was hugging me deeply alone in the store room downstairs from the church hall and a lady came in, she looked at us funny but said nothing.
Nothing was said to me by anyone in church but EY told me that people ‘were talking’ about him and me, which prompted me to go and see the Vicar, and EY later told me that he had spoken to the Vicar and told him there was nothing to worry about.
The church were aware of things like EY taking me sailing and EY taking me from church to an empty Romerils warehouse after church. (EY worked for Romerils). He told me he had been warned at work for his tactility. EY was making something at the warehouse. He spoke to me in an inappropriate way while we were sailing, inappropriate as in sexually. And at the warehouse he got me to talk about being sexually abused in the past.
No-one in church ever intervened in Ey hugging me, and he would reach out for me and take my hand while in conversation with me.
**** **** told me that it came up in investigation into Ey’s behaviour with me that EY had been wrongly involved with another female, who was in England.

‘Moving from church to church:
With finding a church, the reason I moved church was to get away from Jane Fisher and the Dean and/or other people because they caused me to be unwelcome, Jane Fisher probably tries to make out that the grapevine was not working against me, but it was, and **** ***** recounted to me how I was branded and I was humiliated.  every time my church was influenced, I could not be part of the congregation and in the end it was blatantly Jane Fisher and the Bishop who drove me from St. Clements and Tracy and interfered at St. ********, and by the time I was at there, I had already lost my life in that three weeks when I fled to England to escape Jane Fisher and Tracy’s attempt to have me sectioned -which is omitted from the Korris report. I was already ruined by the time I arrived at St. ******** church.

Jane Fisher:
I say again, I was not clear on what Jane Fisher wanted, or was doing, she was rude and unhelpful, vague and making things out to be different to how they were. I did not understand her or what she was doing, I was not made clear that my complaint had been taken seriously at ANY POINT, and if I had been then I might have been less angry and not tried to make the Dean see that he had done wrong. The whole situation might have been better if the Bishop had withdrawn Jane Fisher from contact with me as I asked repeatedly for years and got someone helpful and clear to help me. I did not understand Jane Fisher, and I said so, she is barely literate and uses a spellchecker that turns her words American and she doesn’t even make sense in what she says and writes and she can be very nasty and apparently get away with it.

As far as I know, I did not involve anyone who was ‘innocent’ in my emails, I sent emails cc people who had rejected me or been involved, withdrawn pastoral care and help with no notice and no reason and people who were obviously involved in the matter or had treated me unfairly due to what they had heard. I felt condemned by these people and I wanted my side heard. I also sent the complaints to other people on the Diocese list because I was not being heard, getting no response from the Bishop and I would not deal with Jane Fisher and her coldness and denials. I blocked her in the spring of 2009 and only unblocked her in 2010 because Tracy wanted me to communicate with her.

In the end the fact that I could not get away from Jane Fisher and the Dean was causing me severe distress, I wanted to worship where I would not be slandered and where people would not warn against me behind my back. The Dean was blatantly allowed to know where I worshipped and Jane Fisher said so in an email of hers that I have.

Abuse of good nature?
The Korris report seems to be based on what Jane Fisher has on record, and omits my side of what happened with George and Jill Lihou and the M’s, Jane Fisher never asked for my side and was not interested. I did briefly try to describe it all, immediately after Bob Key called me wicked and used the Lihous and the M’s as an example, again without my side of things having been known to him but briefly and to the Bishop and Jane Fisher who did not care about my side and do not seem to have recorded it for the Korris report.

The fact is and was that the Lihous and M’s had their own problems and own histories of problems, their involvement with me was not healthy, but I feel very much scapegoated by the use of them against me and Jane Fisher appears not to have taken my side of things on board. They are not villified as I have been either, again reinforcing the continued brand by the Diocese of Winchester that I am worse than an abuser.

Comments about me abusing hospitality or good nature or something? Again, this is the Lihous and M’s or the hypochondriac couple, and I should not have been judged on this while my side was not heard or reported on. The M’s have not been shamed and slandered in the press recentlyfor what they did to F’s daughter and then to me, so why am I being shamed? The Lihous are not being shamed for Jill’s mental illness that meant she wanted her daughter to die or be injured for years and for claiming she was my carer and having me put on a medicine that caused me to be admitted to hospital, so why am I shamed for reacting to them? Jan Korris considers the whole matter to be me ‘abusing people’s good nature’ and has not interviewed me and included my views. She has acted on Jane Fisher’s behalf instead.

Jane Fisher:
What makes me very angry is that Jane Fisher has been excused her slander of me and interference in my life when I returned to the mainland by making out it was about ‘making the clergy in Winchester aware of me so that safe boundaries were set’ and something about ensuring that nothing more than spiritual support was offered’.
Rubbish, what a terrible cover-up for a terrible terrible inflicting of damage by Fisher and Wolvlsey on top of what I had suffered in Jersey!

Basically what happened was that Jane Fisher did not give me a second chance and a chance to rebuild my life, she had given me a bad name in Winchester, behind my back, I was not told that everyone had been ‘warned’ about me. But I was shouted at by a vicar and I overheard myself being talked about in a terrible way by people in one church, they were not aware that I had been abused, not aware of my side of things and not even aware that I was autistic, they made me out to be trouble, to be someone who just swore and shouted. The woman in question was not a priest, she was an assistant in a church that I tried to belong to, and one of the priests, who had previously been friendly when I lived in Winchester, refused to speak to me or even look at me. Nor was this slander that covered the Bishop and Diocese’s backs limited to the Anglican church in Winchester, it went through every church, just as it did in Jersey.

I was condemned, I had not escaped from Jane Fisher. And I pleaded with the diocese to bring justice and to stop interfering.
Jane Fisher also completely violated me with contact with the homeless services, instead of me being able to be me and be someone who was suffering because of what had happened. I was someone who had been bad, and I was refused access to a women’s refuge in a very humiliating way as a result, and that was just one of many humiliations. That Jan Korris excuses and omits, so that it looks like it was all innocent and with good intentions.
The Korris report is not just defamatory but shields a very very dangerous safeguarding official who has the power unsupervised, so drive a vulnerable person to their death rather than see wrongdoers openly seen for what they are.

Diocese intervention:
The homeless shelter manager was unhelpful when I told her I was frightened because of the noise and intimidation in the shelter, she had heard about me, so I wasn’t allowed to be me and be frightened and hurt. I was bad.

The support worker linked to the nightshelter who initially was helping me confirmed to me that the Diocese had contacted the nightshelter, I was furious and violated, but she tried to make it ok by telling me that they wanted to know what church I was at so they could ‘help’ me, so far the diocese’s ‘help’ had damaged me beyond repair and left me driven out of churches.  The support worker appears to have been warned off helping me once she had told me and I made the homeless services aware that I knew, and she would hurry in the opposite direction when she saw me, despite me having not said or done anything bad or abusive to her.

I was left ashamed and violated and unable to be part of the community in Winchester as I had been in previous years. I even used another name to try and be safe but it didn’t work in Winchester because people knew me and I knew them. Winchester was my home town from age 17.
I was left with only the addicts and alcoholics for company as they had no care for what the church had to say, but I wondered why the church didn’t slander and shame them, why I was slandered and shamed and left unable to hold my head up, while the Diocese claimed this was helping me when I had been so hurt by the church.
I was driven from the daycentre, having left the nightshelter early on, The daycentre tried to threaten and force me back into the nightshelter, as they were in close contact, and I went mad with distress and they failed to force me back but I never trusted them again. and the Diocese continued to involve themselves against me through these authorities, so I had the ‘criminal record’ thrown back in my face all the time and was not allowed to be me or be good.
Trying to escape the Diocese.
I tried to get away from the diocese by going further afield in Hampshire and failed, and as I was being forced out of Winchester by the intervention of the Diocese which meant I felt unable to access any services or any churches, and the diocese had made contact with all my dear old friends and violated me and left me shamed in front of my friends, I started moving round the country to get away and fled Winchester altogether.
Jane Fisher did not at any time have my permission to be involved in my case with the homeless services and the data protection act has been breached many times in this matter.

The Diocese may claim to have been trying to help by giving their side of things to churches and homeless services but in fact what they did was drive me from housing services and support services that I was trying to co–operate with, prevent me from being part of a church and shamed me to the churches and basically were as unchristian as possible in giving their opinion, which left me shamed and isolated and eventually as a long-term rough sleeper, unable to feel safe in a church or engage with anyone who tried to help me.

Being trapped:
As a result of a set-up situation in Winchester, where a woman who was friends with the Bishop and his wife and Jane Fisher did not tell me she was friends with them but invited me to live at herhouse and was in contact about me, I have since felt unable to trust anyone who reaches out to me.
The woman took me home, seemingly innocently and unknowing of who I was, invited me to stay, left me alone with £70 for the washing machine repair man the day after she invited me to stay (I guessed she knew from somewhere that I was honest with money) – which aroused my suspicion, as did the phonecalls that she cut off when I came into the room.
But never told me she was connected to Jane Fisher and the Bishop until something that Lou scott-Joynt said to me made me realise and I confronted this woman on Christmas eve. Not aggressively.
The woman went on about how she would always be friends with the Bishop and I wouldn’t change that, I said that I wanted the Bishop and Jane Fisher to stop interfering and making me out to be mentally ill and because I was very upset, this woman replied that I was making it look like they were right.
She said that Jane Fisher had said I would react like this.

I was furious, because from the start, Jane Fisher had gone behind my back, never had I actually been included in the picture of me that was painted to people, and if I had actually been included in any of the arrangements about me, instead of me being effectively slandered to the churches and people, then things may well have been more successful. But it wasn’t about me, it was about protecting the diocese.
I think anyone would be angry to find out that they had been arranged behind their back by the people who destroyed them, set up, and I was being told by this woman that I was acting as if I was mentally ill when I reacted.

I decided to leave the house, and this woman tried forcibly to stop me by trapping me in the bedroom that she had allocated to me, (she had told me that I would move to an attic room after Christmas). she told me that I was the one who was causing the problem – this is despite the fact that I had been misled by her because I had not been made aware that she was acting for Jane Fisher and the Bishop and influenced by them (which would probably be denied).
And I was physically having to fight to get away from her.
I had a lot of luggage. Which included presents from friends and goodies I had got to share with the rough sleepers on Christmas day and presents I had got for this woman. I had to leave a lot of that behind. And it was later apparently taken to the homeless daycentre which I no longer attended, taken by Jane Fisher, and an attempt was made by her and the staff there to contact me through a homeless friend, and I abandoned that friendship in distress and disgust at the violation.

Anyway, I escaped from this woman, who was trying to stop me, and I ran up the road with no shoes on, and the ground was covered in ice and snow, I was screaming with distress. I phoned Jane Fisher and the Bishop and begged and begged to be left alone. Jane Fisher later used these phonecalls against me in court in Sussex in 2011, claiming I repeatedly phoned her on Christmas eve and Christmas day, but she apparently ommitted the reason that I did this as it was not read out in court.
I was desparate to get away from the Diocese and to stop them interfering.
It is omitted from the Korris report how Fisher and Scott-Joynt liased and attempted to have me put away in Sussex as a result of me continuing to fight them to undo the injustice and bad name they gave me and deal with my complaint.

Returning from Jersey to Winchester to a continued nightmare.
I came back to Winchester in October 2010 unaware that I was already given a bad name in Winchester and unaware that I would not be able to join a church and be a proper part of the congregation and receive pastoral care for the wounds I had from Jersey, unaware that I would not be able to make friends and naturally build relationships, unaware that I was to lose my long-term friends and in a repeat of what happened in Jersey, be shamed in the community so that I couldn’t hold my head up.
While my abusers were never subjected to such appalling and demoralizing treatment! And because they are not vulnerable, lone or disabled, the diocese couldn’t treat them like that even if they wanted to, but the diocese focussed on ruining and maligning me, not my abusers.

And the effect of what happened meant I fled Winchester but was left unable to trust churches and church people and rebuffing help and getting distressed and suspicious when people managed to help me, leaving me fulfilling the Diocese’s opinion of me.
But not completely.

People who slipped under the Diocesan radar and befriended me:
Among all the nightmare situation in Winchester, a couple approached and befriended me, and it is thanks to them I didn’t commit suicide, they saved my life with their words and friendship and despite attempts at intervention by the Diocese and people connected to the Diocese, which included Lou Scott-Joynt trying to get me to give her this couple’s surname and attempts by people in the homeless services to speak to this couple,but this couple were real Christians and I was able to keep this friendship, although I had to ask this couple to keep our continued friendship a secret, and in the years between 2011 and 2013 I was in contact with them in strict secrecy and they agreed not to discuss me or let anyone know that they were in contact with me. This is what kept that friendship, it was kept away from intervention and influence by the Diocese. And, as my former healthy friendships were, it has remained healthy because this couple are not using me to meet their own unmet needs, they have boundaries and need space and so do I, my problems occur when people get over-involved and have problems of their own – described in the Korris report as me abusing people’s good nature or hospitality or something.

My friends who slipped under the radar in what the Diocese did that would have otherwise left me unable to develop relationships in any church in Winchester and not aware of why, the Diocese did all this behind my back and yet claimed to be helping me. I was an object to the Diocese, no feelings, no needs, just to be who and what they said I was in order to protect themselves, and the Bishop said to me during the time I was in Winchester that I was to blame for what happened , and I cannot think of anything further from safeguarding than that, them protecting themselves and blaming me. In fact I would have been extremely open to any predator in the Winchester Deanery as a result of being talked about, because it made me defenceless, I had a bad name and a bad record and would have had no-one to turn to if I had been abused.
( I have felt very vulnerable on the streets because I know if I am abused I cannot report it because of the way I have been treated by the Diocese and the police) basically anyone can rape me but I cannot report it.

This was highlighted by the police’s attitude when I intercepted a call from Lou Scott-Joynt to one of my friends about me immediately after my arrival back in Winchester. I went to the police and begged the Diocese to be made to leave me alone, but to no avail and I was basically treated as if I was mad, and nothing was done as far as I know. Basically, even in this day and age, disabled and vulnerable people remain poweless against abuse in the church, we are ‘mad’ for repeatedly standing up and speaking, and those of us who cannot or dare not speak are basically there to be used in any way the powerful in the church want to use us.
Disabled and vulnerable people are also constantly treated very badly by the police, and since the Korris report came out, I have heard of hundreds of cases of police brutality and injustice, and the police are never called to account.

Taking my friends off me:
My friends who befriended me during this time back in Winchester (in February 2011), and who the Diocese did not manage to take off me, despite Lou Scott-Joynt asking me for their surname and despite certain people speaking to them about me, are prepared to make a statement about how they see me. They are aware of my temper when I am frightened and frustrated and can also confirm how I have asked them to keep our friendship secret in order to protect me and them from further intervention but they can give an account of the real me, who is not described very well in the Korris report, which seems to be based on Jane Fisher’s records, and Jane Fisher was never a friend of mine. Fisher has gone out of her way to destroy, demoralise and defame me, all while pretending to care.
(A statement was made by my friend on my behalf last year).

The safeguarding that left me unable to get help:
What the Diocese did with their intervention in Winchester on my return from Jersey was get their side accross and leave me isolated and a permenant rough sleeper who was unable to trust anyone, especially the churches, where I should have felt safe, forgiven and included. They did not allow me another chance in my life after destroying me and I have struggled to trust and allow people to help me since then.
Right now I am expecting arrest at Jane Fisher’s hands again, and am unable to access medical help or homeless outreach for fear of being traced. Even though all of this comes from the Korris report which covers Jane Fisher’s back and which meant I have been traced and left yet again at the mercy of diocese and police, which is why I am writing this, because I am being driven mad by this crazy report and fear of church and police, I wasn’t provoking them when they traced me, I was beaten, not fighting back any more.

The diocese may make my perception out to be distorted, but I know what I experienced and was on the receiving end of and they have a bias in order to make out that they were only doing the right thing.

Report and friends:
The report fails to mention my happy and succesful relationships that were long term and were only detroyed as a result of all that happened in the end in Jersey and the Diocese’s intervention when I returned to the UK mainland. It just mentions me ‘abusing people’s good nature’ and gives no details and none of my side of things. No allowance is made for the psychological side of why I didn’t bond well with the people I am deemed to have abused, and no understanding is given of the politics of the church in a wealthy diocese and the attitude of the consistently well off people I encountered who did not understand me in poverty and disability.
Basically I feel damned as bad, left in danger, and that report seems to cover up for other people who hurt me, especially Jane Fisher.

Escape from the Diocese:

since escpaing from the Diocese of Winchester in 2011. I have been living in fear of their continued intervention which hurt me so much and changed my name to try and escape them, but I remained traumatized and unable to trust anyone or deal with conflict, so I continued to struggle and be vulnerable. I was a mess, I was a mess who was trying to stay away from homeless services and interventions that would cause me to be traced by the Diocese or the homeless services in Winchester or the police.
Being traced by the police recently was a huge shock and made me feel that I had spent two years in hiding in vain and was now going to be back under the Diocese’s intervention and police attacks for reacting. I was horrified that the cycle of police and diocese intervention was going to start occuring again and rip my life apart, and as far as I know, it still might. The Diocse have refused to reassure me that they will not intervene in my life again and tried to make out I have requested for them to stop contacting me, not that I have requested for them to stop intervening.

Peadophile cover up in L:
The report mentions me being unforgiving about an ‘organist’ in my former parish being convicted of peadophilia. The whole account is innaccurate. The man convicted was a youth leader – of the youth group that I both belonged to and assisted with, he led the services that myself and other youth helped to run, he worked closely with us, and he was also on the mission support committee that I was part of. He had made me feel small about some of my ideas on the mission support team in the past, but he had also said things about his relationship with a vulnerable child before that caused me concern, but no-one else in church seemed worried about him. The incident where he worried me was when he talked about one of his frequent trips to Romania to the church and talked about how he was bathing a young girl, alone. No one else seemed to pick up on this but there were obvious concerns that he had committed misconduct there when it all came to light in the end.

The problem was, in the end, not my unforgiveness but my shock. And not just towards him. I was shocked because I didn’t know at the time how the church of England hushes things up, and they tried to hush this up, and as well as seeming to be unaware that this man had previously been warned about inappropriate touching of children, and had continued letting him be involved, they were ‘keeping it quiet’ that he had been arrested.
But because I was friends with and in contact with a number of churchwardens and readers and people who held positions in the church, I heard and overheard and was told what had happened.

I was shocked and went to JM, who was my friend as well as being the Vicar in the Benefice even though she had hurt me and was hurting me. I went to her in shock because I had worked and worshipped alongside this man in the Benefice for so long. JM once again let me down with her attitude, she claimed I was unforgiving – this was immediately after I had heard the news and who does forgive a betrayal like this instantly?! JM told me that we were all judged by God and that I would be judged by God the same as this man because of my Asperger Syndrome, basically I interpreted that as that I was as bad as a peadophile who collects child pornography as this man did because I was disabled, I challenged JM on this but was left with no clarification nor did she withdraw this statement.

I was shocked, horrified and never actually able to get anyone to help me with this, it was a trauma. JM went on to say that the man’s abused adopted son had forgiven him so who was I to hold a grudge?. She refused to acknowledge that actually I was horrified and traumatized that someone I had known and worked with in church and eaten meals with and helped at events with had done something to hurt children he had been trusted with, that he had not only done this to children in the school where he worked as a special needs teacher with children with learning difficulties, but according to my friend, he was possibly wanted on similar charges relating to the orphanage in Romania. But JM wanted me to be quiet about it, just as she had said to me about FM’s (her husband’s) misconduct to me and to FM’s own daughter, she said it was my word (and the daughter’s word) against FM, and she wanted both matters silenced and out of mind. The way the church hushed this up horrified me almost as much as the actual things that had happened.
JM always took the attitude that abuse victims are whingers and abusers are just victims themselves, which she did in this case.

This was an incident among many that caused tensions and problems between me and JM but I gather that this is where I am described as ‘abusing her good nature’ in the Korris report.
I did not object to the peadophile being re-integrated back into the church community, I expressed shock that I would not know how to relate to him but when I heard he was coming on the benefice walk I decided I would relate to him as normal as part of the group. However, this must have been where the diocese intervened and he did not come on the walk, nor was openly heard of again in the benefice, just my friends sometimes said they were going to see him and told me about some woodwork he was doing. His wife remained in the church community and close to some of my circle of friends who were also her friends, I related to her as normally as I could or did and felt very sad for her and as shy of her as I was previously and never mentioned her husband or what he had done.

Another thing that horrified me, and I wonder if you can see why, is that people in the benefice, friends of mine, though I broke off that relationship, wrote in support of this man saying he was a ‘good man really’, if someone abuses disabled and orphaned children while making out to be helping them, then they are not a ‘good man really’, abuse affects someone for the rest of their life, and it was the most vulnerable people who were abused, so that man is not a good man really. That is not to say that with time to get over the shock I did not forgive this man. But the account given totally misrepresents the situation and also leaves out the huge background situation of me and JM, which I gather is referred to as me abusing her good nature. The repeat of me going through some of what JM’s stepdaughter went through is omitted completely. The stepdaughter was kept a secret from the community.

The Korris report wrongly portrays me being unforgiving of an organist who was convicted of peadophilia, what I have written above is a more accurate portrayal of that whole situation.
What has scarred me and damaged my faith in the church, which as a body that supposedly follows Christ, should have integrity and transparancy, and yet covered this matter up and condemned me for my shock and for knowing about this matter when I should not have done, as none of the main body of the congregation who did not hold positions in church were supposed to know and those who did hold positions were supposed to keep it quiet.

Very few people I have known in that extremely wealthy benefice and indeed in the very wealthy diocese of Winchester have experienced abuse, they are not vulnerable people, and I was usually in a minority in the churches, disabled, poor, no family, an easy target and no one was able to empathise with me because they did not know what it was like to be vulnerable in those ways. But Korris claims that it was me abusing their good nature.  But she does that with no input from me about what I suffered at the hands of the church of england in my 10 dreadful years as a member.
Nor does she speak of the good side of my church relationships or the work I did for the church, it is a biased and unbalanced report.

Bullet point chronology 3 from the other blog

• After I moved to my lodgings away from Winchester, I really was standing on my own two feet at last, aged 20, which was not too surprising because in everything I was usually a few years behind everyone in my age group and really quite immature and childlike. But I wanted to progress and be independent.
• I continued to return to the Vicar’s benefice weekly as I was heavily involved in church groups and events and also because I still had gardens to look after in the Vicar’s benefice and Winchester as well as my work during the week.
• I also started to attend the church in my new town. Interestingly the smear campaign in Jersey that blames me for all problems I have had in the Diocese of Winchester omits that I have been to several churches including this one where I had no trouble further than the usual social and communication difficulties.
• the  church at the time was run by a Vicar and his wife, this vicar was a big tall hearty man, known in town as ‘The Giant’. Interestingly, but this is a theme throughout my story, he had connections with my churches at Winchester. This Vicar had been the Vicar of the churches at Winchester that my Vicar friend now ran, and there had been problems and quarrels after he left because he kept coming back and leading and taking services even when my Vicar friend was installed, and they had had quite a row and she professed to dislike him, she told me that she had had to ask the Bishop of Winchester to intervene. She told me that it was the only time she had ever got any help or co-operation at all from Bishop Scott-Joynt.
• It’s funny that this dysfunctional diocese blames me for everything isn’t it?
• Anyway, so I began to worship at a combination of  church in my town and the churches in the Winchester benefice,  I found the town church very different and I got caught up in what I did not know would be known as ‘Charismatic’ worship, the Diocese of Winchester appear to want all their churches to lean towards charismatic, and that is driving away people who want more steady worship, which is sad, but anyway, I got caught up in it, I had experienced it previously at  Church in Winchester, where again I was perfectly ok and got to know a few people although my vicar friend did cause problems between me and some other  Church people in Winchester in her interventions which were to become a habit in my life right up until I was in Jersey. But anyway, Winchester Church and my town Church, so far so good, no abuse, no-one taking over my life or crossing professional boundaries, no-one taking control of me, and so I was ok.
• But on the other hand I wasn’t ok, because no-one really understood my lack of communication skills and Charismatic churches are all bright and friendly on the outside but your problems go deeper and you can’t ‘God them away’ people lose interest and are not sure what to do.
• So I got a variety of reaction to my problems, there was a group of young people, my age, one of whom befriended me and remained a friend, she lived up the road from me and we did various things together, the other young people, mainly men, were also shy, and we never knew what to say to each other, while the girl who became my friend was very charismatic and said she would never marry a man who was not a Christian, but the other young men weren’t interested in going out with her and she said she was lonely.
• Anyway, the other people in church, the Vicar was the one who made the teas and coffees after church in the evening, and I asked him why, and he said no-one would bother to help him or even stay if he didn’t. So I got into the routine of helping him.
• The church people were variable, as a large group of people are, some were friendly, some didn’t understand me, but there were no real problems. Someone once thought I ‘stormed out’ during a hymn, but actually it was because of the sharpness of the violin that someone, I think it may have been the Vicar’s wife, was playing, I was undiagnosed and did not understand that sharp noises hurt me because of AS, but it was actually someone in the church who helped me to realise I was on the Autistic Spectrum, as well as talking to me about hypersensitivity.
• It remained that there were no real problems in the church. But I never really grew fond of them. The Vicar and his wife had problems, and those problems included the Vicar’s wife being mentally ill, I think it was depression, but it disrupted their lives and service badly at one point, it made me realise, again, that even people with dog collars and in postions in the church are not infallible and not perfect, this was driven home to me even more when their teenage daughter started sleeping with one of my work colleagues, she didn’t appear to be solidly in a relationship with him, just sleeping with him, and it made me wonder again, what the point of a Christian upbringing in the Church of England is actually worth? Very sad. But nonetheless, I am condemned worse than anyone who actually ‘belongs’ in the church due to dog collar or family, because I am autistic and I do not ‘belong’, at least not in the Diocese of Winchester, but at the time and until I was driven from Winchester two years ago, I had never known another Diocese, I have known other Diocese since, and I have seen things done so much better and much more inclusively in other diocese.
• at some point a new clergyman arrived at the church, he was a friend of my Vicar friend at Winchester, and was at college with her at evening class, doing an MA in Theology, which she eventually dropped out of. He was ok, but my Vicar friend talking about me to him and giving the wrong view of me was not helpful. But anyway, he preached sermons about hellfire and brimstone and how we would perish in our wicked ways, which was great fun, but when I told my vicar friend, she was not impressed. But anyway, this clergyman’s wife, when I went to her when I was wrestling with life, told me she thought I had Asperger Syndrome and that was why I was struggling.

published on 09/07/2013 – Diocese and Deanery

I just thought I would share briefly with you about the theology and way of the Diocese of Winchester, where I suffered a number of hurts for ten years and had no idea that outside of the Diocese of Winchester, the Church of England might do things differently. Better.

I have since being driven from Winchester found that it is different in other dioceses, it is better.

I would just like to share some thoughts that cry out in my head and wont settle.

• The clergy in Jersey have not behaved in any sort of a Christian way in their slander and untruths about me that have been transported to the general public through the press and the meeting at Grouville.
• The Clergy in Jersey have done and are doing some damaging things that harm vulnerable people, and yet they are not being slandered and destroyed as they slandered and destroyed me.
• The Diocese of Winchester has been lacking in proper safeguarding or enforcement of safeguarding policy in all the time I have known them, if they had ever had a proper safeguarding process and policy then I would not be ruined and blamed by the safeguarding officer for my reaction to everything that has happened to me.
• The smear campaign against me tries to do two things, first claim that I have ’caused trouble’ in two parishes in the Winchester Diocese previously, and then that I have ‘made complaints’ in two different places previously. I feel that it is my right to correct that – I didn’t randomly ’cause trouble’, I dealt with bad situations and abuse that occured when other people in the church with problems of their own tried to make ‘curing’ me into a panacea for their own problems, also when I was abused, and in both cases there was no sign of any effective safeguarding policy. I also never made any complaints before I was abused in Jersey, I made all complaints in Jersey when the Dean was able to involve people who had previously hurt me in the Diocese of Winchester and those people, the Dean and the abusers worked together to give me a bad name.
• Another rumour was that I was trying to get compensation from the Diocese. As yet, despite offers of help to get compensation, I have never tried. I love God more than money.
• The Catholic Church, despite it’s historic abuse problems, has been much safer and kinder to me than the Church of England Diocese of Winchester.
• I suffer the after-effects of the Diocese of Winchester so badly that I still have deep trust and panic issues to do with church, but my church/es know and understand this.

I will continue writing tomorrow. Do look at Bob Hill’s latest blog, which you can find a link to on the top right hand side of this blog.

Post continued on 10/07/2013

The clergy smear campaign against me in Jersey:

• The clergy in Jersey, in their desparate smear campaign against me make me out to have ’caused trouble’ in two parishes in the Diocese of Winchester, they do not appear to want to know about the trouble caused to me by sexual abuse and being manipulated by people who had their own needs and mental health problems, notably including the mother-in-law of one of the clergy in Jersey. 
• They also omit the other parishes where I was able to be part of church without anyone taking me home and subjecting me to sexual or emotional abuse. They omit that I had no ‘trouble’ in these parishes.
• They omit the hundreds of hours of voluntary work I did for church and community despite being hurt by the snobbishness in the wealthy Diocesan churches who singularly had no understanding of autism or poverty, they also omit the friendships I had without any ‘trouble’ despite my autism meaning that I do struggle with relationships – unfortunately the unchristian clergy make no allowances for such things and would rather brand me trouble than be responsible for their own behaviour.
• Funny isn’t it? how they have branded and slandered me, and yet these are neurotypical, well-off and well-fed people who singularly have not suffered hardship or disability. These are ‘God’s representatives’ and they can lie and slander me and show the whole world an example of Christianity which should empty the churches.

written 09/07/2013 ‘Being Homeless’

Hi,
so many people have asked me about homelessness.

so what is it like being a homeless rough sleeper?

Well, actually it feels perfectly natural, it was traumatic at first, but everything was trauma back when I was made homeless for standing up to the church of England.

In the beginning I was cold and tired, homeless in one of the worst winters for many years.
But I survived, grew, and homelessness became natural to me, especially as trying  to sleep indoors led to me becoming distressed and panicky, and back then, indoors was where I felt most at risk from the Diocese of Winchester, who continued to hurt me in every way possible.

Although I can now cope better with indoors, I do still suffer. And find that the suffering is relieved by going back outdoors.

When I think of giving up my homeless life, or being forced off the streets by renewed interention by the Diocese of Winchester, I become distressed and grief-stricken and I want to grab my life tightly in my hands and yell ‘No!’ at them.

Ok, sometimes life is hard, I go hungry or I get wet and cold and dirty. But that is part of my life now.
I was never well-off, and often went hungry when I lived indoors, and struggled to make enough money to pay the rent.
At least I dont have to worry about rent now.

It’s not so bad out here.

written 03/07/2013 on the old blog: ‘The Shock of My life, The Diocese pretending that they cared’

It was in March 2013 that things went wrong. I didn’t consciously know that anything had happened at first, but subconsciously maybe I did, but at the time I attributed the increasingly strong nightmares about Jane Fisher, Bob Key, Jersey and the police to the fact I was trying to learn to live indoors. My sleep went down to a few hours a night and I was in such emotional distress during the days that it was difficult to function normally.

Even though for some odd reason, I was getting emails from people in Jersey and people from the past I didn’t think, even when an email said ‘have you heard the news’, these people were from my distressing past and as far as I was concerned they had no news for me. So I left their emails unopened as I was under enough stress from trying to teach myself to be a house dweller again, and I felt deeply vulnerable as a registered house dweller even under my new identity I was in fear of Jane Fisher and the police – this fear very logically being caused by Jane Fisher and the Bishop repeatedly coming after me with the police when I responded to their negative interventions in my life.

Within a few weeks I had realised that I could not live indoors. I could only afford cheap lodgings which I paid for from my welfare benefits as I knew that the struggle to explain myself to Housing Benefit would be too much and I was always in danger of abandoning the tenancy or being traced by the diocese anyway, especially as I could not get the right support to help me to learn to be a house dweller. I also could not really afford to pay my own rent, low as it was.
My main barrier to housedwelling is the flashbacks, distress, terrors, bad memories and despair because of Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt and the Dean of Jersey and their police interventions against me in response to my protests at their refusal to deal with my complaint and their bad handling (to put it mildly) of my complaint.

The cheap lodgings was in a lodging house and I was the only female there, still suffering PTSD and quite frightened by some of the behaviour of the men in the house and feeling a bit intimidated. So I was longing to return to the streets, especially as the memories and distresses of Jersey were coming back to me too strongly, and at the time I thought it was simply from being indoors, and maybe it was.

Before I left the house I managed to get very ill, the hygiene in the house was bad and a drug addict who had been very ill for months had just moved out and the guy who took the vacant room became just as sick and was taken to hospital, and then I got sick too.
I moved out while I was ill and back homeless I went through one of the worst bouts of illness that I ever remember. Whooping cough and pneumonia.

I was afraid to see a doctor because I have been treated really badly in the years since Jersey because Jane Fisher and the former Bishop really wanted me to be insane and locked up and I was also not willing to see a doctor in case I was traced. Even though all attempts to certify me insane failed because sadly I am not. PTSD and autism are not madness and cannot be treated as such.

In the end I went to a hospital and they said I was ok, recovering, I had been so very ill and it was a relief to know they thought I was ok. They would have admitted me if I had gone when I was really ill, and I could not allow that, I could not be captive somewhere and have the police turn up, I remain living in fear in that way.

I still didn’t know what had happened with the diocese but I had returned to sleeping rough and it felt amazing! Yeah! Lying there looking at the stars as I fell asleep I was at peace.
The time between evening and morning is when I am happiest, the diocese of Winchester destroyed me but they gave me the gift of a sky full of stars and so few people get to enjoy such a gift any more, so I really appreciate it.
I love the evenings when I walk quietly alone with my headphones in and my music on, I love to lie down in my blankets and gaze at the sky and I love to get up in the quiet early morning and walk the quiet roads and stop and gaze, this is heaven to me and I am now in fear that that diocese intend to rip this from me.

Anyway, then I got an email from the policeman who had traced me and I was deeply shocked. I only read the first lines and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Firstly my new identity was shattered and I was once again open and vulnerable to police and diocese cruelty and attacks and slander.

All I read of the police email was that they had traced me and this policeman called me ‘Ms’ and my new name in capitals as if he was jeering. And then that ‘the diocese wished to support me through local church groups’ and something about the historic abuse case in Jersey. What historic abuse case? I was furious, why, after the way Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt repeatedly drove me from help by slandering me and ommitting either that I was disabled or that I had been abused, were they talking about local church groups???

Firstly there are no local church groups that help abuse victims, none, churches shun abuse victims and safeguard against them, secondly I am not in that area or diocese, thirdly I have no intention of belonging anywhere where Jane Fisher and the diocese of Winchester can humiliate me or involve themselves with their side of things as Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt did before. Basically after what has happened, this being traced and violated and humiliated for the sake of fictional help was ludicrous! If the diocese had anything to say to me which was in MY interests and not just them covering their backs, they would have emailed me themselves as they have my email addresses and were more than capable of doing this without deliberately degrading me with further police action that I had not merited.

I was in shock when I got this email and it was Maundy Thursday and there was nowhere to go for help.
I walked up to one of the churches and there was a church man there, he recognized me and happily started telling me about bedding plants for the church garden and then realized I was crying and shaking. He phoned his wife and got the number of a church person who I talk to and she came to the church and held my hand. I did not understand why the diocese had set the police on me and shattered my privacy and left me open to the horrific continuation of the cycle of being violated by Jane Fisher and Scott-Joynt and then being attacked by the police for answering and asking for justice and restoration, all I knew was that the police had come after me for the diocese.
So the church lady held my hand and comforted me and she said no-one in her church had betrayed me to the diocese and the police as far as she knew, because I have the horror that someone has indeed betrayed me and left me damaged by this, because the police got my details somewhere and somewhere I will be shamed and embarrassed when I go to see old friends. And also I was repeatedly betrayed by churches because of behind-my-back-intervention by the Diocese of Winchester before I escaped from them two years ago.

Anyway, then the minister arrived and was told I had had a shock and he came and sat with me and talked gently. Then I helped him to prepare for the Holy Communion Service, and that took my mind off things.
I still had no knowledge of the full situation, and in truth I still don’t.

Easter was hell because of being traced by the police, there was nowhere to go and no-one to turn to, which is the usual in the Christmas and Easter holidays but worse because of the police. The Easter Sunday service was lovely but because of the fact I was no longer hidden and safe from Jane Fisher and the police after two years, I felt unsafe in church and I remembered Vicar Tim at Romsey Abbey coming and shouting at me and saying he had been speaking to Jane Fisher about me, and all the cold accusatory one-sided things he repeated from Jane Fisher before I ran off crying in the night and went to a police station but was too scared of being beaten and locked up to tell them to make Jane Fisher go away. I did not want the old priest at this church to do the same accusatory shouting and telling me how bad I was.
Because, after a very very long time of deep fear and wariness, I have learned to love again, and I love my church/es, because they have showed me that church and Christianity is not the way the Diocese of Winchester portray it, and I have just started to believe them.

When the holidays thankfully finished, I was in the library and still being badgered by emails about Jersey and the Diocese so when I was signing into my emails I looked at the news stories and found the story.
Something about Jersey and the Archbishop and Bishop apologizing and the Dean being suspended.
Again I stumbled outside crying.
I am as raw as if I have no skin and I cannot cope with much stress at all.

I went back up to the church and thankfully my friend from last time was actually there, she came to sit with me and held my hand again as I blurted out something about the news saying the Bishop apologized, my friend said I should be turning cartwheels and wasn’t I happy?
No, I was traumatized by all of it, all of it in the papers and all of the past being dragged up and the police, I didn’t know anything about this report that I was being badgered about by email. I felt vulnerable and frightened because I was traced by the police, I felt shocked and depressed, because despite the flashbacks and the unhealed wounds, I had tried to leave this in the past as Jane Fisher was always coldly telling me to leave what had happened to me in the past because my pain was of no relevance and I was not valid.

So no, no cartwheels, just shock, there is nothing that will make me hopeful or joyful any more, the pain has been too deep for too long, I like my walks in the dark and in the early morning and I like lying on the ground and watching the stars as I fall asleep but I do not feel joy at the church of england suddenly, too late, forcing upon me something that is to do with their politics rather than my welfare and doing it very publicly and having me intimidated and distressed by the police for their own ends at the same time.

So, I was in crisis and still trying to shake off the illness that tends to come back just when I think it has gone.  I had to ask those offering me pastoral care to stop as it was upsetting me too much, these were church people, and until I had an assurance from the diocese of Winchester that they are going to leave me alone, I did not feel safe or able to let anyone help me (in reality I am still living in fear0, and while I am in fear of a police attack I feel almost unable to even see the psychologist, after all, if you are going to be beaten and locked in then there is no point in paying for psychology because it cannot undo that.

I continued to try and maintain the rest of my routine while no longer attending church or having help. It is hard to keep a routine when you are depressed and homeless but thankfully what I was taught by MIND about keeping myself going during crisis is helping a lot.
(MIND is a source of help I refer myself to when I need them, they have helped me since I referred myself when I was a young adult before my Asperger Syndrome was officially recognized).

Anyway, I continued to hear about Jersey, bit by bit, and continued to fight the distress and memories brought back to me.
I was told by email that the Dean will simply be reinstated because all the Bishop has done is cause a constitutional crisis in Jersey, and I myself was surprised that the Bishop even suspended the Dean, because I was told by the Dean himself and some of his clergy in Jersey while I was there that the Bishop could do nothing to him and nothing to them so they could effectively do as they pleased and I would not be listened to.

What horrified me was the complete lack of response from the Archbishop or Wolvsley when I frantically tried to contact them, which cemented the fact that this whole farce was in fact nothing to do with me but to do with something political that I did not know about, this didn’t surprise me as the church of England are unmotivated and unmoved by abuse victims and their ‘safeguarding’ policy simply ensures that disabled people and vulnerable people are excluded, isolated, shunned and unable to make friends, because no-one is allowed to be alone with them or take them home or take them out, the church of England treats us as profane, as lesser beings, by keeping this policy behind the backs of vulnerable people.

And so why would they be apologizing to me, especially as they launched a police attack at the same time! But Wolvsley have nothing to say, neither does the Archbishop.
I have made a complaint about being traced but that complaint is about the policeman, the diocese of Winchester remain untouchable and a constant threat to me and I despair because it seems that I would have to seek asylum abroad to escape them, and I am tired, I do not want to go unless I have to, but the dread silence and the danger of police attacks and the confusion remains.

Jersey is obviously the same, the internet is full of articles and blogs, and in true Jersey style some of the information is very vicious, some in support of the Dean and some not, some blatantly attacking him and some blatantly attacking me.
The thing is, the Diocese of Winchester may be under some illusion that my identity and the identities of other parties is concealed, but believe me, those few Jerseypeople who did not already know about this, do now and most people do know all the names of those involved, especially since a very blatant breach of confidences occurred.

There are some very good Jersey blogs, which are providing real information on what has been happening, countering that awful Korris report and the very very nasty slander against me by clergy and supporters in the Jersey Deanery, these blogs include Bob Hill’s Jersey Blog, Rico Sorda’s blog, Voiceforchildren’s blog, Tony’s musings, Stuart Syvret’s blog and more.

But there are snippets of this awful ‘independent safeguarding report‘ the Korris Report, the one that was done without my input and lets the whole world know how successfully the Dean and the Bishop and Jane Fisher punished me for speaking up and had me thrown in prison and ‘deported’ and left homeless in the UK with Jane Fisher still hanging onto my jugular until she pulled me down to the point of no hope, no healing, nothing left etc. Or does it omit that? I had a breakdown from trying to read the Korris Report, it is so awful and so inaccurate and cover’s Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing so well that it caused me to collapse. I have never finished reading it and it is so very damaging and wrong that I do not know why it was allowed to be published. I have expressed this opinion to Jan Korris but she is not bothered, as long as she gets her comission she isn’t too worried that she has had internationally published a gravely damaging report about an already suffering abuse survivor. Hopefully the collective complaints about it means she wont do it again, but I doubt that she cares.

Anyway, everyone has an opinion and in Jersey they fight about it like little boys, because Jersey is a small place and has that mentality, everyone knows someone and everyone has a bias, it makes it a bad place to live if you report someone for abuse and they have connections. The thing with the diocese is that they are not there and do not know who is who, who has what bias and why, but Jersey is another country and another country that used to be occupied by the Germans and has never lost that mentality. And at the moment they are not too pleased with England invading against one of their politicians, which is what the Dean is first and foremost, he certainly isn’t a Christian.

But anyway, I gather that Wolvsley tried to do a Jane Fisher and tell me that this isn’t affecting me! Are you crazy? You rake up the past and humiliate me publicly, even if only in Jersey and in your online report and you set the police after me and you think I am not affected?! I am not strong enough for much stress and believe me some of the opinions of people known and unknown in Jersey right now do affect me! They make me want to curl up and die.

This is my situation right now. The diocese refuse to confirm to me that as far as I am concerned the matter is closed. So I am in limbo, I am living in fear with my life paused, I am afraid of police attacks, I am distressed by what has happened and how I am publicly flogged, I am terrified that my quiet walks with my music and my sleeps in my cheerful blanket will be taken off me and I will be locked in for incomprehensible reasons and my freedom and life will be gone and ‘help’ will be forced on me.

Life is in limbo, there is a so-called investigation, but the Bishop reinstated the Dean and said he had acted in good faith, now the Bishop hides behind a PR company and refuses to communicate, while half the so-called investigation he has instigated is a conflict of interests, but he refuses to withdraw it or comment.

The impact of the Diocese’s cruelty

There are many and varied impacts of the Diocese’s cruelty in Jersey and Winchester, which will last me the remainder of my life.

One significant one is that I severely mistrust offers of help. especially in relation to church.

I cannot trust myself with church people because of the way the diocese went behind my back and maligned me to every church in Winchester so that I was walking around maligned, branded and shamed.
Now if a church person tries to help me, I look round for the diocese and their condemnation, and I try to escape, I can’t believe in myself and I can’t believe that a church person who tries to help me will not be taken off me, so usually I do not allow people to stay with me, either I leave or I ask them not to help me.
With a few exceptions.

I feel that I am branded by the diocese for the rest of my days and I associate any church and any church people with branding and unforgiveness and unworthiness and the danger of Jane Fisher intervening as soon as she finds me.

And judging by what has happened, my fears are justified.

I will never really feel safe in a church or with church people, however much love and acceptance there is, and that is funny because what are churches supposedly for? And what did the Diocese make church into by going behind my back and maligning me? They left me eternally separated from what should be safety, fellowship and a place where I would not be judged, until even with the lovely churches who have been alongside me, I cannot really feel safe and included, the brand of the Diocese of Winchester is very deep, and it may never be a thing I recover from.

Credit to the Churches who have nurtured and included me and tried to help.

Jane Fisher’s meeting

Jane Fisher, who never dealt with my complaint and rubbished me. Had an obsession with trying to get me into a meeting.
The problem was, she was told no, over and over again because of her scorn and rubbishing of me.

But she didn’t give up, because she is spoilt and thinks she can always get her way, so she trashed helpful mentoring relationships to try and get me into this meeting.
She repeatedly tried to use Philip LeClaire to force this meeting on me, despite me telling him that he was not to act on behalf of the diocese while working with me, not to set things up  for them, not to communicate with them about me, etc.
Sadly my privacy there was ignored and confidences breached, hence me not trusting Philip.

Tracy was also used repeatedly as a mouthpiece for Fisher, which again, broke my trust for her, and she was used to try and get this meeting, which I refused.
Fisher even tried to get me into this meeting with Tracy there as my ‘friend’.
Tracy ceased to be anything good or trustworthy for me the day Fisher got her claws in.

The question is, why did Fisher rip through my personal life to try and force a meeting on me about my abuser, when she had done nothing about my abuser? And still hasn’t.

Being Direct

In Jersey, was I cheerfully trashing the place and swearing and threatening everyone?

No, I was responding to a miserable and shameful situation that I could not understand, where I was being hurt, where I was being maligned in a small community, where the police had brutalized me and locked me up the day they let my abuser go to go round saying he was cleared.
I was responding to living in a community where churchgoers and professionals were so linked that I could not access unbiased services or avoid being shunned and glared at, in a place where it was admitted to me I was discussed and that one particular church leader hated me and considered me evil.

I was under too much stress and could not live a normal life, while the Diocese denied it all and made life worse for me and did nothing about my abuser or my complaints.

The damage is lasting.

I need to share that because I do have flashbacks at the moment to the way I was treated in Jersey and the way I responded.

I think Jersey could be described as a place where ‘people get promoted for wrongdoing’, that is what I saw happening as my complaints continued to be ignored and it harmed me.

Happier memories, the boat and the sailing award

I joined the other sailing club to get more dinghy sailing and training and more social activities.

They had an open day one day and were selling off the old club dinghys.
They were very kind to me as I viewed the dinghys and picked out one for me in reasonably good shape, they sold this to me for £50, and so I was a boat owner.

I was very proud of this little boat, and I got a place on the boat park for it, on it’s little trailer.
Although someone tried to shove it out of it’s place and park their boat there soon after, even though I had been given that space, club members helped to sort that out, and I started work on getting the boat into better shape.

The boat was a Topper, a white and blue one, and it’s faded name read ‘Crazy’, which made my friends laugh, so I changed it’s name.
I contacted the Topper Sailing association and got a signed book and a new mainsheet and other bits for the boat, which I slowly and carefully fitted, and I learned how to put the mast up and rig the boat where it stood on dry land.
I felt I had made a lot of progress as a result of owning my boat, just as I made progress with driving when I got my own car, see my earlier post about the car.

I had done my dinghy sailing levels one and two, but level three was more elusive, both in training costs and assessment, so I started to train when I could with one of the Pico’s that I had often borrowed for solo sail practice.
I saw the Clipper Bursary advertised, and it was for anyone who wanted to further their sailing experience and qualifications.
So I applied.

I didn’t win the main sailing award but won an extra award that they offered especially for me. I was stunned!

The award they offered was to help me gain my level three and I was very happy about it.

I suppose I had better explain that this happened during the grim death time, 2010, when, despite my stay at Maytree (suicide prevention centre, self-referral), I was going downhill, and the Diocese were still harming me and not dealing with my complaint.

Anyway, I went to meet the man who was offering the award, and he took some photos of me with my dinghy, he said that a condition of the award was that I was likely to be interviewed by the press, he said the photos would probably be in the JEP, and because of the church situation, which I explained without naming names, he said that my name would be omitted. But I was terrified because I knew the haters would react to me being in the press.

The reaction I knew about turned out to be Jane Fisher, she and I were on ‘speaking’ terms, although she was still hurting me and denying my complaints, this was 2010, we were on speaking terms because tracy wanted that, and Jane Fisher’s interference was trashing my friendship with Tracy and her church.

Anyway, Jane Fisher, I remember, kept on texting me and asking why I was to be interviewed by the press, she was so obviously only interested in the Church’s reputation, it was ludicrous.

I was in the JEP, but I delighted in ignoring BBC Jersey when they asked for an interview, after all, they had treated me appallingly and caused me a breakdown, a severe one.
Although at the same time I did contact them about joining the Springwatch beach clear up, which I very much enjoyed taking part in.

Anyway, so I was doing my level three dinghy practice but was quite unwell, and things came to a head one day when the boat capsized and I couldn’t right the boat or swim any more, I was exhausted, it is very possible that the full blown asthma had developed by then, because I couldn’t breathe properly, and I had to be rescued.
That was my last sail. That was the end of my dreams.
We were rapidly approaching the end by then.

My boat was moved to the garden of a Jersey clergyman, ‘for storage’, and while on the run in England when Jane Fisher and Tracy tried to have me sectioned and failed, my car irreparably broke down because I had had to use the repair money on the ferry ticket and looking after myself in England, and because the sheets, sails and steering mechanism for the boat were in the car, they had to be abandoned in England.
Then I lost my life and my home, my boat was left in that CoFE clergyman’s garden and the rest of the gear was left in the UK.

I lost my boat and my training and so much I had worked for and paid for, but did the Diocese care, no, when I arrived homeless in England they set about wrecking my life more than I could ever recover from, my losses already meant nothing to them compared to covering up for their wrongdoings, and they told me it was my fault, while I was homeless in Winchester, Bishop Scott-Joynt said so, from his palace, where he had refused to ever deal with any complaint from me.

my side of things

The Diocese of Winchester did not arrange for my full story to be taken and ignored my requests, including my offer to see an independent interviewer, instead, they excluded me and illegally referred me to agencies including the NSPCC without my consent, and I had a breakdown.